Meet the parents w/ divorced parents

Hi all I am having my meet the parent this weekend ...... Did anyone have to deal with people not showing up, or worse acting up? I just found out that some people are not coming due to this and I'm really upset and feel disrespected.
Am I wrong or having a Bridzilla attitude in any way?
PS - I dont mind truthful observations I want to know if I am overreacting.

It's terrible that grown adults act like this, but I wouldn't take it badly.

If you think of it in the sense...would you like to be forced to sit in a room with people you do not like or get along with??

I would have no problem with this, but some people can't handle it.

Don't be upset...YOU can still have a wonderful time!

There is no telling what can happen when it comes to weddings and divorced parents.

Some divorcees find a wedding to be a nasty reminder of things gone wrong or oppurtunities lost and promises broken.

Disrespeciting you? I don't think it's intentional. I mean if I were asked to have a 'meet & greet' with my mother in the room, i'd decline. Not out of disrespect but out of respect that I know things would get nasty.

Prehaps they're afraid of embarassing themselves or you with what may or may not happen? It's your time to be happy, I am very bitter with my mother. I wouldn't want to bring that to an environment that is intended to be pleasant.

OR!!
They could just be playing games 'Im not going if so-and-so will be there' You never can tell.

Shrug it off.. take it as one more reason why you will work hard to make your relationship last.

Just my brutally honest opinion (per your request)

I will totally try and have a great time .... it is just hurtful to me my family and FH. It is however out of my control (which i hate ). hehe

we did a meet the parents/engagement dinner in April. My FI's parents are divorced and had to get on the plane from St Louis to come to NY together. Worse still, the father brought his long time gf, the one he left the mother for...so I am sure you get the picture.
It got ugly before it got better. Once they arrived in NY, the father threw a fit at the airport and almost got on a plane back home. They spent the first day apart in NY, my FI's siblings split up and each group took one of the parents around the city.
Come Saturday night though, they put on a great show when the got to the restaurant to meet my parents. Everything was civil and everybody got along.
Good Luck! I guess it depends just how messy the divorce was. Hopefully they will rise above it, because they have to...for you and your FI.

Honest opinions that are not hurtful or non-constructive (very important) are the whole reason for my love for these boards !

I would never post something I couldn't deal with a honest response to from 'A Few Good Woman - you want the truth you can't handle the truth'



It is great to see all sides of a situation - I agree it is much better if the person dosent come to avoid making a scene.

I agree with Xelindrya...those who are backing out might actually be doing you a favor. Maybe they know that they're not mature enough to behave properly, so they're sparing you the embarassment/headache.

Or maybe they're too selfish and immature to rise above their differences and deal with the situation. Either way, don't take it personally and enjoy who does show!!

(My dad hasn't met my FILs yet, because the one time my FILs had a gathering I invited my mother and to spare everyone the aggrivation, I told my dad not to come, although he was invited too. My dad thanked me!! And as it turned out something happened w/ my mom's boyfriend and my dad would have FLIPPED on him and her had he been there. Believe me, it was a good decision on my part!)

at 1st we planned on having seperate meetings - then we decided that we would ask FH parents if it was Ok with them to have one. They werent ever reluctant they agreed and then agreed to behave ...blah blah blah. Now two days before one of FH parents says they dont want to go and that they cant handle it, also FH's brother (BM) says he cant he has to work ??? We told them all about this a month ago at least - I wish the parent could have said no to begin with and the brother at least try and pop his head in for a second. I dont like to see FH hurt by his family - I dont like people blowing off my parents like they dont matter.

My parents are divorced as well they happen to have a terrific relationship - so its not like I expect a polly-anna perfect day - I guess im just frustrated with soo many let downs for my FH. Hes such a good guy and would drop everything for either one of them - I guess that is really working me up as well.

I am gonna try and let it go now