Post New Topic

Meeting the priest to take FOCUS!

BCTM33 Posted:

Meeting the priest to take FOCUS!

I finally got in touch with our priest and we are meeting him tomorrow to take that FOCUS thing and select reading etc. Any tips?

CaCRmr Posted:

Re: Meeting the priest to take FOCUS!

I didn't do that. I did Pre-Cana but Good Luck with it. I hear it's more relaxed than Pre-Cana.
BCTM33 Posted:

Re: Meeting the priest to take FOCUS!

Great! Pre-cana was pretty terrible
Stacey04 Posted:

Re: Meeting the priest to take FOCUS!

We did the foccus already and are in the middle of pre-cana.

THe foccus is not big deal. Its about 150 statements that you answer, agree, disagree or uncertain. You are not allowed to talk.

If you already live together you have to answer an addition 20 questions or so.

Have fun!
thanksgivingbride Posted:

Re: Meeting the priest to take FOCUS!

it is no big deal. it is like a a scan tron quiz that you each take and down the road you compare your answers. most questions are about money issues, children, in-laws, communication.. etc.

there is no right and wrong, just gives you more of an idea of issues that you need to iron out before your vows.

Good Luck - it is kinda fun - it definitely forces the guys to open up when you go over it after it is 'graded'
nylisa Posted:

Re: Meeting the priest to take FOCUS!

We did not have to the Focus Test.

sotm121097 Posted:

Re: Meeting the priest to take FOCUS!

Just curious what was so bad about pre-cana?

dita531 Posted:

Re: Meeting the priest to take FOCUS!

FOCUS was mass followed by a test. Nothing scary.
We thought we were going to hate pre cana but we actually liked it. It was a little long- 2 days! but it was a little bit useful.


ETA: When the preist asks you why your are getting married make sure you tell him its because you love each other AND to have children.
BCTM33 Posted:

Re: Meeting the priest to take FOCUS!

We did the one day pre-cana and the couple that led our group was old and both had previosly been married (1 for 21 years, 1 for 22 years), both had 5 kids in the previous marriage and then got their marriages annuled. They met each other and 'fell in love'.

Anyway, the whole thing was very antiquated. The female leader said 'Girls you should really keep yourselves up after you get married - no wearing sweatpants all day long, you should always dress nice for your husband'. They actatually told us that while arguing we should go into the bedroom and take off our clothes and hold hands! They also said we should have a serious conversation about whether the wife would stay home form work after marriage to care for the house. Just a lot of stuff like that.

I know a lot of people really enjoy pre-cana I think we just got stuck with bad leaders.
dita531 Posted:

Re: Meeting the priest to take FOCUS!


Posted by BCTM33

We did the one day pre-cana and the couple that led our group was old and both had previosly been married (1 for 21 years, 1 for 22 years), both had 5 kids in the previous marriage and then got their marriages annuled. They met each other and 'fell in love'.

Anyway, the whole thing was very antiquated. The female leader said 'Girls you should really keep yourselves up after you get married - no wearing sweatpants all day long, you should always dress nice for your husband'. They actatually told us that while arguing we should go into the bedroom and take off our clothes and hold hands! They also said we should have a serious conversation about whether the wife would stay home form work after marriage to care for the house. Just a lot of stuff like that.

I know a lot of people really enjoy pre-cana I think we just got stuck with bad leaders.




That's insane! Luckily ours were a bit more with the times. I liked it when they spoke about the 'family of origin'

Reply to this topic

Log in to reply or quote a post.