Memorial

IrishBrideASmiling Posted: Oct 28, 2007 10:59 PM

Memorial

FH and I have been brainstorming trying to figure out an appropriate way to include his father, who has passed away, in our wedding. FH wanted to leave an empty chair at his mother's table, but I think this will be too sad for her since im sure she will be asked a million times who is sitting there. I suggested the memory table with his picture and a candle, but it doesnt seem to satisfy FH. Anyone have any suggestions??

JACK808 Posted: Oct 28, 2007 11:02 PM

Re: Memorial

I toatlly agree with you that an empty chair would be very painful for his mother to sit beside. Why doesn't your FH ask his mother if there is any special way she would like to honor his father?

Brian and Marie Posted: Oct 28, 2007 11:05 PM

Re: Memorial

We were gonna leave an empty chair at the ceremony with a flower on it, but we decided that was too morbid, so we mentioned DH's father in the ceremony and we had a memorial candle for him!

IrishBrideASmiling Posted: Oct 28, 2007 11:08 PM

Re: Memorial

During the ceremony I want the priest to acknowledge those in our family who has passed away and he will be mentioned then as well. I am at a complete loss here. I just want to do this tastefully without upsetting anyone. Maybe I will see if FH wants us to put a candle at our table or something like that?

xBrunette Posted: Oct 28, 2007 11:11 PM

Re: Memorial

i want to honor FH mother who passed away but a few months ago.. and i was thinkin about setting up a candle table... have everyone light up a candle in her memory.. but i was going to personalized it... and if people wanted to take the candle home they could...

i think that having an empty chair is leading towards so many bad memories and too many tears that need not be shed that day... it's soo sad...

danandme4life Posted: Oct 29, 2007 12:04 AM

Re: Memorial

Posted by IrishBrideASmiling

FH and I have been brainstorming trying to figure out an appropriate way to include his father, who has passed away, in our wedding. FH wanted to leave an empty chair at his mother's table, but I think this will be too sad for her since im sure she will be asked a million times who is sitting there. I suggested the memory table with his picture and a candle, but it doesnt seem to satisfy FH. Anyone have any suggestions??

My father passed away In January after a long battle with diabetes and we feel that he brought my FH and I together so for the father daughter dance I am dancing with FH while they play tracey byrds 'keeper of the stars' and play a video montage of FH and I and pics of my dad when the lyrics reference the 'keeper of the stars.'

Instead of a dance maybe you can just have a montague memoir of him growing up with his dad.

PattyK Posted: Oct 29, 2007 12:18 AM

Re: Memorial

I think at an empty chair would be too painful for both your FH & his mom. Since both of my parents passed away. I had their wedding picture in frame on table behind mine along with a memorial candle that I had made.

beram63 Posted: Oct 29, 2007 05:38 AM

Re: Memorial

we're going to do a reading of a poem @ the ceremony to acknowledge both of our fathers who've passed.

bigrd37 Posted: Oct 29, 2007 08:38 AM

Re: Memorial

I had also thought about placing a flower on a chair during the ceremony, but I think it would be too emotional for everyone.

I definitely plan to have a picture of my father and I along with a candle lit during the ceremony and will have the Judge mention my father and our grandparents that have passed. I thought about a video montage, while I dance with my mom, but that might be too much for both of us. If your FH and his mom are up for pictures of his dad, then I would suggest that as well as a candle.

Kara and Todd Posted: Oct 29, 2007 09:02 AM

Re: Memorial

What about handing out guardian angel pins with a memorial poem / saying with the programs at the reception? We did this for our grandparents and aunts / uncles who have died. Everyone wore the pins. It was lovely.

BubbasBride Posted: Oct 29, 2007 11:39 AM

Re: Memorial

Both my father and fi's father have passed away. To include them in the day we are dedicating our ceremony to them in our program, having a memorial candle on the place card table which will be moved to the mantle behind us in the reception room, and we are doing donation favors to the two causes behind their deaths.

It's a very tough thing to have to think about and no matter what I do, I feel like it isn't enough. But you do the best you can.

tlp123 Posted: Oct 29, 2007 12:53 PM

Re: Memorial

Some people are having their DJ do a photo montage on a plasma screen during a special song.

rmsgirl Posted: Oct 29, 2007 01:08 PM

Re: Memorial

We had the same challenge. We needed to find a way to acknowledge and celebrate how important he was to FH, but not in a way that would cause us or other family members, especially his mom, to be grieving or upset.

This is what worked for us. We decided to dedicate our ceremony to FH's dad and wrote a message to him in the program. We had a special section for the dedication, right after the list of participants. The officiant will also say a prayer for him during the service. We also are bringing family photos to display, but are mixing them all up together rather than having a memorial table. FH will also wear his live strong bracelet.

You both will have to figure out what works best for you. I don't think I would do the chair though. Too upsetting to your FMIL.