My dad passed away in '91. I wanted to have a memory candle for him.
FH also has 2 grandfathers that passed away and I have 1 that has also.
My ? is: Since I am going to have a candle for my father would it be rude not to have one for each of our grandfathers or one for them togehter???
Nanjoe
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I had a memory candle for my parents, but I did not have one for any one else who passed away. I thought about it, but I decided just do it for my mom and dad. I do not think it is rude at all. Go with how you feel. JMO
Betty
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I felt the same way. We are having a memory candle for FHs dad who passed away 2 years ago. I was very close to my Nanny who died in '94. I wanted to include her but if we did that we also had to include all of the other grandparents who died (neither of us have any left). It got to be too much.
We've decided to just have one for his dad and I will say my own personal prayer for my nanny that day, wishing she could be there with me (I will also have something of hers pinned under my dress for my 'old'). We will also say something on the programs about our loved ones who have passed (but not name them individually)
kptoys
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Thanks guys. Im going to have one for my dad... the others know we love them... my daddy is just my daddy
Chelley
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Thats right kp
jags77
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is it not proper to have just one memory candle to honor 4 grandparents and an aunt? i was thinking of doing that but am not sure if that's too much?? also, with the candles- do you put a placecard or something with their name on it so people know who the candle is in memory of?
another possibility is to have a candle for your father at the ceremony and the others either on the side of the ceremony hall and have them lit by another family member prior to you walking down the aisle???
Boop2704
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We are having a memory candle for my brother, it will have his name engraved into it. All of our grandparents have past and I would like to do something small in their honor, so I was thinking about having 6 taper candles in holders surrounding my brothers candle. Each taper would stand for one grandparent. Just an idea I am toying with.
Chelley
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Thats a nice idea Boop . I haven't figured out what I'm going to do for my brother yet. I know that we are having his picture, along with FH's grandmother, on a table next to the dais. I'm thinking of adding this poem in a nice frame. But I don't know if it's too morbid.
Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there. I do not sleep. I am the thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glint on the snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn’s rain. When you awaken in the morning hush I am the swift uplifting rush Of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft star that shines at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there, I did not die. -- Author Unknown
Boop2704
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Thanks Chelley, I was going to have a picture of him, but I think that would upset me more seeing his face. I want to keep it simple, I know in my heart he will be there and I don't want to have everyone there hysterical. It is supposed to be a happy day and even though it will be difficult, I know he will be beside me and he'll be in my heart.
Chelley
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your absolutely right. I think that also, but sometimes I feel like I'm not including him and I just get so depressed. I know it doesn't make any sense but I think I might need to see him there. He was so happy when he found out I was getting married.
Boop2704
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You should definitly do what will make you the happiest on your day. Don't ever feel that you are not including him. He will always be a part of everything you do for the rest of your life. I wish my brother had been able to meet my FH. Unfortunately he died a few years before we met. But I know I have his blessing and he would love my FH because he treats me sooo well. My brother is watching over us. Sorry I am rambling, but today my brother is on my mind constantly because it is the seventh anniversary of his death.
Chelley
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Boop you have FM
itsbouttime
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I am having a memory candle and only putting one of my grandfather's name on it. All of my grandparents have passed, but the other 3 before i was ever born. My one grandfather passed just 6 months ago and he was everything to me.
