Met with priest yesterday and didn't go that well

don't worry about it.... on the the big day, everything will be beautiful, and this will be a distant memory.

My new big fat polish family almost NEVER receives communion.... Why? because they didn't go to confession the week before.

Overtime, I'm realizing more and more that my chatechism upbringing was much more old school than others... becuase I was actually SHOCKED that I wasn't thrust into the confessional booth the day before the wedding. I felt like I got away with something

so you were caught... think of it as a life lesson for your FH.... rather than being chatty, he should clam up and RUN when he might have the upper hand

ps- no, it's TRUE. You shouldn't be receiving communion w/o being in a state of 'grace'. It's just not enforced in the US (or germany for that matter), so people have gotten quite sloppy about it.... to the point most people forgot completely.

---

Posted by melisjoe

really hate when ppl get all judgemental and try and tell you what to do. kudos to you ladies who marry in a church.......cause i'm waaaaaaay too much of a biitch to handle that. that's why we married at RH! my hats off to you guys dealing with stuff like this.


Well stated - that's exactly why we arent getting married in the church either!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---

Usually when one gets married in a church its because its important to receive the blessing of God for their union. Wished more people would realize that then just because soandso wants it that way or because they want a nice place to take pictures.

I am so sorry you had to go through this I can only imagine how mad you were at your FH lol. I am sure the ride back home was fun.

I never understood the confession thing. I am baptized catholic but the whole telling a male priest of my sins and sinful thoughts inside separate dark rooms through a screened window .... just seems kind of wrong.

Thats MHO.

She said 'so the priest says which one of you isn't catholic and we said neither.'

I misunderstood, I thought that meant neither of them was Catholic, not vice-versa. Still--I don't get why you want to be married in the church if you don't want to follow their rules. And if you don't go to church enough that you don't even know the difference between praying and genuflecting. I'm not Catholic and I know that you're supposed to be in a state of Grace before any of the big Sacraments, like marriage. If you don't even know that much, why bother with a Catholic marriage?

Just my opinion.

---

Posted by MrsQ-in2007

---

Posted by Pencils

Why are you getting married in the Catholic church if neither of you is Catholic and you don't accept their beliefs?

---

I could be wrong, but I think they are both Catholic, but not practicing (she mentioned something about not going to church or confession often).

---

---

Posted by Mel329

I just wish we would have said these things the first time we met him. Most girls do not even make the appointment like I did to see him one more time before the ceremony. Usually brides just have to hand in a piece of paper outlining their ceremony. If I had done that, I would not have known about any of these things.

---

Now that what catholicism is all about making us a feel guilty and the do a pretty good job at it.

My priest called me a week before the wedding and said dont forget to go to confession... I went. my husband is Polish so his whole family went, brothers sisters, parents... LOL

Hmm I have to say I was never told by the priest .. never.. We had a few meeting with our preist and this was never brought up..

i have to agree with the priest.... you ARE supposed to be in a state of grace to receive the Eucharist and any other Sacrament. this means you must be free of any mortal sin. whether or not you believe it or not, when a priest consecrates the bread and wine, you are receiving the real body and blood of christ who died for OUR sins and this is why we are supposed to be free of sin when we receive Him.

granted, no one is without sin and many people still receive.... it is a practice that has been unfortunately neglected in the last generation or 2.... but you should not be receiving if you have mortal sin. also, you should are supposed to be in a state of grace for any sacrament, in this case, marriage.

there is no confession police, you can still get married. but, technically that is how it goes.... in hindsight, i am sad that i didn't go to confession before my wedding... i had meant to go a few days before and things got so crazy. but that's me. for you, i wouldn't worry about it too much. if you go, great, if not, that's fine too. and if you do decide to go, i wouldn't worry about setting up a special appointment... just go when they have all the other confessions... usually weekday mornings or friday and saturday evenings.

i actually like how i feel after i go to confession. it doesn't have to be a laundry list of all things you've done wrong.... we're not children anymore. but it should be a nice conversation with the priest of where you are in your life right now and how you want to be a better person. some of the most moving and meaningful confessions i've had were like that... just open conversations and dialouge. it shouldn't feel forced or uncomfrotable.

GOOD LUCK!

Well, it's true we're supposed to go to confession before having a sacrament (marriage) in church so he really didn't tell you anything wrong. I know it's annoying though (I'm not a fan of confession either) and he probably could have been nicer to you and explained things better, but what can you do. I guess just try not to make a big deal about it, just go & get it over with. Don't worry it'll all work out

---

Posted by Pencils

I misunderstood, I thought that meant neither of them was Catholic, not vice-versa. Still--I don't get why you want to be married in the church if you don't want to follow their rules. And if you don't go to church enough that you don't even know the difference between praying and genuflecting. I'm not Catholic and I know that you're supposed to be in a state of Grace before any of the big Sacraments, like marriage. If you don't even know that much, why bother with a Catholic marriage?

Just my opinion.

Why are you getting married in the Catholic church if neither of you is Catholic and you don't accept their beliefs?

---

I wasn't going to get any further involved in this, but I just can't help myself

I was raised Catholic, and consider myself somewhat religious, but I don't agree 100% with the Catholic Church, so technically I'm not a 'true' Catholic in the church's terms, but I still consider myself one. I truly believe that people are allowed to have their own interpretation of religion. Think of how many times things have changed in just Catholic religion history alone. So while I don't feel I need to confess to a priest because my personal confession to God should be sufficient or go to church every Sunday, to me - it doesn't mean I'm not Catholic and should not be married in a church. Other people may feel it's absolutely necessary to confess to a priest and go to church every Sunday, and that's terrific. I do think if you want to get married in a church you should at least respect their position, even if you don't believe in it, but I don't think that was even the issue here.

I got the impression that the original post was more about the tone and length of the lecture, rather than him just telling them they need to go to confession.

---

Posted by donegal419

i have to agree with the priest.... you ARE supposed to be in a state of grace to receive the Eucharist and any other Sacrament. this means you must be free of any mortal sin. whether or not you believe it or not, when a priest consecrates the bread and wine, you are receiving the real body and blood of christ who died for OUR sins and this is why we are supposed to be free of sin when we receive Him.

granted, no one is without sin and many people still receive.... it is a practice that has been unfortunately neglected in the last generation or 2.... but you should not be receiving if you have mortal sin. also, you should are supposed to be in a state of grace for any sacrament, in this case, marriage.

there is no confession police, you can still get married. but, technically that is how it goes.... in hindsight, i am sad that i didn't go to confession before my wedding... i had meant to go a few days before and things got so crazy. but that's me. for you, i wouldn't worry about it too much. if you go, great, if not, that's fine too. and if you do decide to go, i wouldn't worry about setting up a special appointment... just go when they have all the other confessions... usually weekday mornings or friday and saturday evenings.

i actually like how i feel after i go to confession. it doesn't have to be a laundry list of all things you've done wrong.... we're not children anymore. but it should be a nice conversation with the priest of where you are in your life right now and how you want to be a better person. some of the most moving and meaningful confessions i've had were like that... just open conversations and dialouge. it shouldn't feel forced or uncomfrotable.

GOOD LUCK!

---

AMEN!!!! Beautifully said

---

Posted by EGreene79

---

Posted by Pencils

I misunderstood, I thought that meant neither of them was Catholic, not vice-versa. Still--I don't get why you want to be married in the church if you don't want to follow their rules. And if you don't go to church enough that you don't even know the difference between praying and genuflecting. I'm not Catholic and I know that you're supposed to be in a state of Grace before any of the big Sacraments, like marriage. If you don't even know that much, why bother with a Catholic marriage?

Just my opinion.

Why are you getting married in the Catholic church if neither of you is Catholic and you don't accept their beliefs?

---

I wasn't going to get any further involved in this, but I just can't help myself

I was raised Catholic, and consider myself somewhat religious, but I don't agree 100% with the Catholic Church, so technically I'm not a 'true' Catholic in the church's terms, but I still consider myself one. I truly believe that people are allowed to have their own interpretation of religion. Think of how many times things have changed in just Catholic religion history alone. So while I don't feel I need to confess to a priest because my personal confession to God should be sufficient or go to church every Sunday, to me - it doesn't mean I'm not Catholic and should not be married in a church. Other people may feel it's absolutely necessary to confess to a priest and go to church every Sunday, and that's terrific. I do think if you want to get married in a church you should at least respect their position, even if you don't believe in it, but I don't think that was even the issue here.

I got the impression that the original post was more about the tone and length of the lecture, rather than him just telling them they need to go to confession.

---

Egreene79
That is exactly what I was saying and that is exactly how I feel!

Pencils- Egreene79 basically said exactly how I feel. I do know the difference between genuflecting and praying, it was FH who was confused. There are alot of things that I agree with in the Catholic faith and alot of things that I disagree with. I have no problem going to confession before I get married and once the priest said that you need to be in a state of grace, I remembered that when making all sacraments that is what one is supposed to be in-a state of grace. My problem with the priest is the way he said things and then how I should really go to a general confession and not regular confession. I felt like I was being judged by him and he has no idea who I am, and that is what really upsets me!!!

Oh my gawd, if that happened while I was talking to the priest I would have left there in tears. I was so nervous talking to Father Mike the 1st time!!!! I answer wrong to ?'s and everything. I said contadicting things and tried to explain. It was a mess but at least at the end he didn't make me go to confession! I am so sorry for you. Best of luck!!!!

Jeez... Your priest sounds like a Nazi... So sorry you have to deal with that..

Our priest let us skip Focus bc neither one of us had time to take it.. We lucked out..

Now that he mentions it, I remember always having to go to confession before making a sacrament. Although my priest has never mentioned it to us yet - he just may.

OMG I am sorry ~ your FH and my FH sound like they are brothers... that is weird about the full mass thing ~ my priest was more for the regular ceremony I wanted to change to a full mass after and he suggested i keep it as the ceremony ~ we are not going for our meeting with the priest until August... I go to church every sunday but I have not gone to confession in years...

That is actually a normal request but that is what it is a request. THey highly recommend that you go but we were told it was not something that we HAD to do.
As far as having a mass-they didnt say we HAD to have a mass b/c we were both catholic....they just told us to be aware of what takes place, pay attention and listen and let him into your hearts...regardless of mass or not that is what they want you to do. Forget about the party and the hoopla, the invites, etc. and just take in the sacrament that you are receiving.
It seems a little harsh only a few days before your wedding to tell you this HAS to be done or your marriage wont be recongnized-this is something that he should have gone over with you the first time you sat with him.
You can be a religious person and have faith without being a regular church goer-or receiving communion regularly. We sat down and spoke to our priest and told him we didnt attend church regularly but both of us have a strong sense of faith and God for that matter. God is all around you. We were told that as long as we let him into our lives in any part of our day other then the 'i hope i dont strangle my FH' stuff and truly give to him that is almost as good as going to church.

Just b/c she is upset about confession and the comment about having a mass doesnt mean she doesnt have a right to have a religious ceremony.