MIL question

Okay so I have no problem speaking up to my mom - actually I do it every day. . .

Did you ladies ever get to the point where you can be like 'LISTEN, LADY. . . . ' to your MILs? I feel like I will never get to that point, right now every response is carefully calculated after hours of reflection but i can't live my life like this!!!

PS - my FMIL isnt terrible. . . but she IS still a mom so she has her moments!

Fortunately for me, I have zero MIL issues. Plus she is only in the US half the year so we actually miss her.

But, I don't think I would ever 'listen lady' my MIL - should the need arise. I think I would 'listen hubby' instead.

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Posted by itslaurie.

Fortunately for me, I have zero MIL issues. Plus she is only in the US half the year so we actually miss her.

But, I don't think I would ever 'listen lady' my MIL - should the need arise. I think I would 'listen hubby' instead.

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yeah FH is great when I need him but that is one of the reasons that things never get resolved right away

i have to wait to be alone with him
then he has to wait to be alone with her
then two weeks later LOL things are resolved

i want something in the moment - just a quick response that resolves the issue and makes ME feel better

yeah 2 weeks is too long

maybe you text him discreetly and have him corner her in the bathroom?

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Posted by itslaurie.

yeah 2 weeks is too long

maybe you text him discreetly and have him corner her in the bathroom?

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great mental image.

yeah, my MIL is actually a doll most of the time (she lives with us) but whenever I have those 'listen lady' moments, I rant to dh.

I address my MIL formally, but in 12 plus years, I have grown to really love her. I think we both equally get on each others nerves but I must say, I don't think she's ever 'listen missy'd' me either.

I think though like in any relationship, you will have a bit more 'elbow room' in the way you talk to her. I say more things to her now about the way she does (waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy) too much for dh. she usually just laughs at me, but a few years ago, although I thought it, I would have never said it...

give yourself time to be fully accepted into her family, but always respect her if she is respectful to you.

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Posted by JessicaM.

yeah, my MIL is actually a doll most of the time (she lives with us) but whenever I have those 'listen lady' moments, I rant to dh.

I address my MIL formally, but in 12 plus years, I have grown to really love her. I think we both equally get on each others nerves but I must say, I don't think she's ever 'listen missy'd' me either.

I think though like in any relationship, you will have a bit more 'elbow room' in the way you talk to her. I say more things to her now about the way she does (waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy) too much for dh. she usually just laughs at me, but a few years ago, although I thought it, I would have never said it...

give yourself time to be fully accepted into her family, but always respect her if she is respectful to you.

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ITA and in a lot of ways I'm in the same boat as Jessica (we've been together for 11 1/2 years, and we live with my in-laws.) My problem lately is not allowing myself to be TOO comfortable saying things..trying to get my point across without entering into 'LISTEN LADY' territory

yes i have been with FH for over nine years so i am definitely more comfortable than i was when i was 15 and we first met!

honestly, i would NEVER ACTUALLY 'listen, lady!' her but i find it so funny that i dont censor myself at all with my mother ( well besides not cursing) and with my FMIL it is like i have to carefully pick out each word and facial expression.

it gets frustrating. but i am always respectful to everyone so i will just continue on. . .

thanks for the married POVs!

Update: FMIL just called me to make sure that she didn't offend me earlier in the day

wow what an adult way to handle things . . .

much better than posting on a stupid board! i need to grow up a little!!