MIL situation

Ok to put it mildly, my new mother in law marches to the beat of her own drummer. Part of the reason we are having the two receptions is we know she is very unreliable, and couldn't handle the trip out east.
I have never met her, when we went to California to meet the family she went into hiding.
Right now she is planning to come to our California reception, on the condition we pay for her transportation and hotel. She did send my husband a card congratulating him, but did not mention my name.
I try to be sympathetic, she did a good job raising my husband, and has medical issues that contribute to her mental state.
Any advice on how to break the ice with her when I meet her on the 20th?
Please don't quote on this, I will probably take it down at some point!
Thanks for your support!

well....she just decided she's not coming.

that was quick

Hi Suzanne - First congratulations again.
This is a very difficult situation and can't understand why she wouldn't want to be at her own son's wedding. My only thought is have you tried to call and talk to her yourself? Maybe once she has an actual conversation with you she may change her mind and like you and want to be there. Or have another family member try to speak with her. Other than this I just don't understand some people, I would never miss and didn't miss my son's wedding (both of them).
Good luck and here's a

I am soo sorry for that Suzanne as I said I just cannot understand anyone who wouldn't want to be at their child's wedding. I was so excited for both my sons and did everything I could to help. Peter and Nina did everything from out of town so I was the person who did a lot of the foot work and I wouldn't have missed doing that for anything in the world.
On a lighter note, I just looked at your wedding albums and you were a beautiful bride. It looks like it was a lovely day out and everything went well. I wish you a wonderful, happy life together with your new husband.

thanks for the compliments!
My husbands grandmother is 95 and still drives and lives on her own....who knows when push comes to shove she might kidnap her own daughter!
She says even when MIL was a little girl she was stubborn.
I am learning I may never really understand what makes her tick.
The hardest part is I know it hurts DH's feelings, but he pushes it down.
This reception is 95 percent his side....he has dozens and dozens of friends coming and his former boss. Even a few SF celebrities.
Maybe one of these days we will all sit down to dinner, perhaps she just can't handle the MOG spotlight, with all her issues.
Thanks for the feedback!

You are very welcome Suzanne and again good luck with everything.
Liz