Minor Update: I am OVERWHELMED have to vent, sorryyyy

Update, Minor Progress Made

So I called my mom who actually seemed to be taking her medication today LOL: and I reminded her that we have 269 people so far and that's not including our Priest or Vendors. She agreed thate should wait and form a 'B' list.





Original Whiney Vent:
This will be long....I am so down in the dump, I don't want to be depressing on a Monday morning so just wanted it to be known that I am just venting, sorry girls.......

I just feel like everything is suffocating me. I'm having so many problems that I never anticipated. If anyone remembers, I found my dream dress and my first fitting was Friday. It went horribly. I hate hate HATE my seamstress and she pinned it up to tight and now the area under my arms is directly up to my underarm and I didn't say anything there but now looking back at the pics, I can see how it just looks ridiculous. She just didn't want to be bothered because it's a complicated corset top with straps and she kept trying to convince me to make it a strapless top which I don't want to do. I was in tears. Then she fixed it but the corset is OVERLAPPING in the back, it looks so ridiculously stupid, I can't even explain it right!!!!!!!!!! How can you make a corset back with the one piece from the right extening over to the piece on the left ?!?!?!?!?!?! SO THENNNN......UGHHHH she goes on and on about the train and how it can't be bustled and why don't I just leave it alone??? Umm yea I want to walk around my wedding reception with a huge train behind me...is she effing kidding me???? So she THEN recommends just cutting hte train off and says hte only way we can even consider bustling it is if we take the piece out from under (I can't remember what it's called, the piece with the tulle that makes it poofy) so I say fine and she takes her scissors and cuts the WHOLE THING OUT and now the dress just lays flat..... I just went along with the whole thing b/c I didn't want to be difficult and I did put on a happy face and had a fun time with my mom and cousin but i've been crying all weekend over this. I hate talking about $$ but this is a really expensive dress we're talking about and I feel that for this kind of money, I should be really happy and not have this woman decide she wants to just CUT the bottom off the dress!!!! It's from Pronovias and has a beautiful shape to the bottom but it's annoying and she just doesn't want to deal with it. Now i'm afraid to call the store and complain b/c I don't want to get stuck with someone worse....alterations (($800 BUCKS!!!!)) are already paid for. I'm so upset.

To make matters worse, over the weekend, I found out my FH's brother (Best Man's) Girlfriend and his 2 kids will NOT be attending my shower. She has a 'Meeting' that morning for one of her 'HOBBIES' and he never made arrangements to get the kids that weekend (he's divorced). SO when FH told him we were upset, he blew it off like 'It's only the shower, NOT THE WEDDING!'..........

We are WAYYYY Overcapacity on people for the wedding and my mom isnagging me to invite some friend of hers for absolutely no reason! pretty much almost hung up on me last night and refuses to see that Myself and FH both cut out our Bosses and Coworkers and some of our friends but she wants me to invite someone I never MET??!?!??!?!

I just want to go home and cry.

Sorry girls....I had to get that out. I'm literally sitting at my desk crying b/c FH pretty much told me last night that 'It's all my fault b/c I should have said something at the dress place and am being sensitive.'

first off

second.. relax... if you can...
if the alterations are capped they have EVERY right to do what YOU want... for whatever cost...
if they cant bustle it (i looked at the dress and it IS stunning) i thikn it will still look beautiful w/o a train... (i see how the back is complicated) and who wants to have a train all night?

but again...the corset.. speak up and say soemthing. they HAVE to listen. you are not being too reactive, or unreasonable.

and the guests... explain nicely to mom... how you are not inviting ur bosses.. and that $ is tight and if you were to invite ppl it ouwl be your bosses. (i dont kno... i woudl jsut try to nicely make it clear that $$ is tight and what you ahve given up bc of toomany ppl and $)

good luck...

Thank you so much, it always helps to hear from you girls. My mom is throwing in money for the wedding so her feelings are well im covering my guests' plates so what are you complaining about?? She sees this as a profit-making day, seriously. She doesn't get it that this is my Wedding Day with FH and I don't want my room packed out like a Sardine Can and this isn't a PARTY FOR HER FRIENDS!

grrr. Thanks for the they helped! I am going to call my dress place at 10. Wish me luck

First off-
It's going to be ok! Dont get your self stresed over the woman not coming to your shower. Really in a perfect world men would shut up and know when not to speak! LOL.. he doesnt realize that the shower is important to you!

The seamstress needs to know exactly what you want, and what is stressing you. I would go back and tell her exactly what you want done. Let her know you were caught up in the moment of having the dress on and therer and now you feel like somethings were over looked!

Thank uuuuu I am hoping this is just me being emotional b/c I feel like i'm crumbling right now. I'm also 4 days late!!!!!!!!!!! So once Aunt Flo arrives, I should be feeling better

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Posted by anamaree77

Thank you so much, it always helps to hear from you girls. My mom is throwing in money for the wedding so her feelings are well im covering my guests' plates so what are you complaining about?? She sees this as a profit-making day, seriously. She doesn't get it that this is my Wedding Day with FH and I don't want my room packed out like a Sardine Can and this isn't a PARTY FOR HER FRIENDS!

grrr. Thanks for the they helped! I am going to call my dress place at 10. Wish me luck

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good luck...
if your mom is paying then i dont kno what to say... other than 'mom i dont want more of ur friends at this party than mine' <-- again im half awake but in that same idea of thoughts...

again good luck withthe dress... but they are required to listen to you.

You should totally speak up when it comes to your dress & alterations!! This is your dress and your day!! You are paying for it so they are supposed to do what you want to make you happy!! I would call them back ASAP and go back in there!! You should not be crying all weekend over this you should be ahppy after your fitting!!

And I would talk to your mom about extra guests. I'm sure you two can work something out. Maybe invite a few & put a few on a 'B' list or something.

Good luck to you!!

sorry that it all seems to be coming at once, just try and take a deep breath and relax- it will all come together.

oh boy....ok. here is my advice.

You need to speak with the manager or owner of wherever you got your gown and have them fix this situation. This is completely unprofessional and unacceptable. As you will read later in my review, my bustle would NOT stay and the ribbon for it was all frayed within an hour of the reception. I had to carry around a dress all night long and it was pretty miserable. My gown is now filthy from people stepping on it. Things need to be done the right way. After all, how would they feel if I only gave them 1/2 of their pills or the wrong medicine all together???? Business is business and they need to do right by YOU. Don't put on a happy face anymore and let incompetant buttholes do whatever they want because it is easier for them. Sorry to add fuel to your fire, but I have a few phone calls to make today bc i'm fed up with how people in the wedding industry treat brides because they think they can get away with it.

About the list:
Tell your mother you are sorry, but if anyone else is getting invited you have to prioritize the list and wait for some No's. THANK GOD we had a lot of no's (DH's family is out of state, a lot of people in the army, marines, etc too) and we were about 60 people under the max room count and when it was time to dance, the floor was PACKED. We had a great time anyway, but you def. do not want to max out your room. Your mom might be bent out of shape for a few days, but she'll get over it. We had similar issues with my MIL, and eventually she understood.

I hope this helps.....i'm ready for a martini whenever you are lol

I am so sorry you are going through this. I was in the same situation about the people. My FMIL was inviting people we never even met. And she never met them either. You just have to put your foot daown. it's your wedding. I am so glad I did cause everyone was walking all over me. With the dress if you don't like something speak up and tell them. Maybe you can call and see if you can go back today or tomorrow. Maybe she didn't start the work on it yet and explain to her exactly what you need. I know you are trying to please everyone. But it's about time you pleases yourself and did things your way.

just take deep breaths
with the dress, I totally understand you because I had issues with my dress about 3 months before the wedding but everything is settled down. Just stay calm when taking to them, and tell them that you want a bustle, (i don tknow how someone can expect us to party all night with a train)
As far as the guest list, - - we were at a black tie event with my parents, and my mom decides to invite someone (1 week before the wedding)
SO go figure, I dont know what our parents are thinking somehow.
It will be alright! - Kinda s\Ucks for a monday mornign, but rememeber it could alwaysss be worse !

Take a deeeep breath.

Now... talk to your seamstress. If she doesn't listen to you if you ask nicely, go Bridezilla on her and make her listen. Or just take your dress somewhere else.

Explain to yor mom that this is your wedding, and it would be politically tricky to not invite your boss/coworkers. Period.

Take another deep breath. Everything will work out. In the meantime, treat yourself to something: a massage at a spa, a manicure, a run in the sunshine... do something to relax.

I'm soo sorry you are feeling this way. Please try to relax and breathe. Everything will be OK!

IN terms of your dress it's your dress and she's the seamstress so she has to make what you want work. She is providing a service to you and you need to be happy with it. not to mention that it's a lot of $$$. Please call the store and tell them your concerns. also ask if there is another seamstress you can work with.

In terms of guests don't worry about your mom being upset about her one friend. It'll blow over.

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Posted by 040508Bride

oh boy....ok. here is my advice.

You need to speak with the manager or owner of wherever you got your gown and have them fix this situation. This is completely unprofessional and unacceptable. As you will read later in my review, my bustle would NOT stay and the ribbon for it was all frayed within an hour of the reception. I had to carry around a dress all night long and it was pretty miserable. My gown is now filthy from people stepping on it. Things need to be done the right way. After all, how would they feel if I only gave them 1/2 of their pills or the wrong medicine all together???? Business is business and they need to do right by YOU. Don't put on a happy face anymore and let incompetant buttholes do whatever they want because it is easier for them. Sorry to add fuel to your fire, but I have a few phone calls to make today bc i'm fed up with how people in the wedding industry treat brides because they think they can get away with it.

About the list:
Tell your mother you are sorry, but if anyone else is getting invited you have to prioritize the list and wait for some No's. THANK GOD we had a lot of no's (DH's family is out of state, a lot of people in the army, marines, etc too) and we were about 60 people under the max room count and when it was time to dance, the floor was PACKED. We had a great time anyway, but you def. do not want to max out your room. Your mom might be bent out of shape for a few days, but she'll get over it. We had similar issues with my MIL, and eventually she understood.

I hope this helps.....i'm ready for a martini whenever you are lol

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OMG You just cracked me up, ur too cute!!!! Thank you for the advice, i'm so sorry your dress came undone!!!!!!! I would be furious too! You're totally right and i'm going to call a 10 when they open and speak with the manager for sure. I just don't understand people at all!! Your pics are GORGEOUS!

You girls are all so sweet, thank u so much. There was other good stuff that went on which I should post too but i'm being a creep right now and i'm feeling depressed lol I feel like such a bummer BLECH

First...

Secondly. I would've spoke up about the dress. You dont want this woman ripping apart the dress and making it look completely different. When you get it back I would bring it to another seamstress to see if they can fix it. Maybe you can wear another slip under the dress to give it some more poof since you said it lays flat. I mean who does this woman think she is... she just didnt want to do the work. BE DIFFICULT

Third.. about your mom. If she insists, maybe ask her to pay for the guest, but at the same time tell her that there is positiviely no room for her. She may be upset about it now, but i'm sure it'll blow over. She wont even notice or remember she isnt there the day of the wedding..

Hang in there sweetie

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Posted by cherish83

First...

Secondly. I would've spoke up about the dress. You dont want this woman ripping apart the dress and making it look completely different. When you get it back I would bring it to another seamstress to see if they can fix it. Maybe you can wear another slip under the dress to give it some more poof since you said it lays flat. I mean who does this woman think she is... she just didnt want to do the work. BE DIFFICULT

Third.. about your mom. If she insists, maybe ask her to pay for the guest, but at the same time tell her that there is positiviely no room for her. She may be upset about it now, but i'm sure it'll blow over. She wont even notice or remember she isnt there the day of the wedding..

Hang in there sweetie

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Thank you so much! Also, I LOVE Your new Engagement Pics! I am not sure if they're new but I just saw them yesterday for the first time...either way, they're awesome!

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Posted by anamaree77

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Posted by cherish83

First...

Secondly. I would've spoke up about the dress. You dont want this woman ripping apart the dress and making it look completely different. When you get it back I would bring it to another seamstress to see if they can fix it. Maybe you can wear another slip under the dress to give it some more poof since you said it lays flat. I mean who does this woman think she is... she just didnt want to do the work. BE DIFFICULT

Third.. about your mom. If she insists, maybe ask her to pay for the guest, but at the same time tell her that there is positiviely no room for her. She may be upset about it now, but i'm sure it'll blow over. She wont even notice or remember she isnt there the day of the wedding..

Hang in there sweetie

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Thank you so much! Also, I LOVE Your new Engagement Pics! I am not sure if they're new but I just saw them yesterday for the first time...either way, they're awesome!

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Thanks. They are new. I just posted them yesterday.