so im sitting here trying to talk wedding stuff with my cousin, who i want to ask to be my maid of honor, and she is just so uninterested. i mean she TRIES to entertain my conversations sometimes.. but i can feel that she really isn't excited like i am. so i'm just torn. do i ask her to be my MOH anyways? or do i try to find someone who i feel is genuinely excited to be a part of this day? what do you guys think?
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: MOH
you have to remember that no one is going to be as excited as you!
right now your whole world is revolving around your wedding day, and thats just not the case for everyone else. especially when that day is over a year away!
I am sure your cousin is very happy for you and would honored to be your MOH but you can't expect her to be oozing with enthusiasm every time you bring up the wedding. What are the reasons you want her to be your MOH? If those reasons are all still valid then you should still choose her.
imas98
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If she's truly the person you want to be your MOH I'd ask her. Personally, I'd be WAY more interested in listening to someone's wedding plans if I were the MOH !!
kellybean
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I think thats a tough one....Im sure she is very happy for you and Im sure she will be a big asset to your day ..it is hard to be as excited as the bride for most people...I would ask her and let her make the choice ,,let her know you will be ok if she says no!!
Pencils
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It's true--she'll be a lot more interested if she knew she were the MOH.
cookiemonster
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I agree with the previous posters - if she is your choice for MOH, you should ask her and she'll probably get much more excited as the day gets closer. It's hard for people (even brides!) to wrap their heads around a date that's over a year away. I'm sure she'll be honored and happy!
kabo0831
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i think you should found someone that is going to be more happier and their for you when you need them to be
Kara and Todd
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You have more than a year until your wedding. I think it would be a good idea to hold off asking people to be in yuor BP for a few more months. I sure wish I had taken more time before asking all these people to be in it. It can really turn into some drama.
Just take some more time to think things through! I'm sure she'll be thrilled for you and honored to be your MOH, but wait a while to decide.
And remember, no one will be as excited as you are!
shoegal68
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I hear ya loud & clear.. Sadly my MOH is my own SISTER! she keeps blowing me off when i ask about dress shopping (her dress)..she has no desire to lose weight ..she is a bit overweight.. she even said it...
whatever, giving her until the end of August...then i will have to find another MOH....
didn't mean to go off...but i can definetely relate to what you are going through !!
Good Luck
LitBallerinaGirl
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If you really want her to be your MOH, then you should ask her. Maybe knowing she is your MOH will change her attitude around and you'll see a new side of her you never thought possile. Good Luck.
jtgarsik
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i came to the conclusion during planning that the majority of my BM's were somewhat disinterested...and my mom & MOH told me 'they're just in a different place then u right now....when it's their day someday - they'll understand' and it's totally true! if u REALLY want her to be your MOH then go for it - because it's only one day out of ur whole life....and maybe she'll get pumped once she's involved. Go by your relationship with her....not her interest...and if she's the one you really want, then go for it - u dont want to regret it later! also, u might consider having two MOH's or maybe have her as your MOH & then another for your matron of honor.
CMaria81
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Definitely wait a few more months before choosing your party. I wish I had. It is important that the people surrounding you be genuinely interested and excited to be in the wedding.
diva7531
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I agree with the above posters, 1: wait to ask people at least 1 month, 2: if she was your choice and you see her standing next to you 20 years from now, then ask her. 3: No one will be as interested as you, some will be jealous, some will be happy, some will be overly elated! A friend getting engaged brings up many different emotions. For a single gal it may be losing her wing gal, fo a married girl it may be 'welcome to the club!' Your friend is your friend no matter what, just sit on your heels for a minute and think things thru. I sent out STD's like the minute after we signed the contract and I ended up having to uninvite someone to my wedding. Of course in the end it was the best decision, but VERY, VERY HARD to do. Sorry so long, but take the advice of the women who have been there. GL
PegaLega
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If I were you I would wait to choose ANY of the people in my BP. Your wedding is at the end of next year-I made the mistake of asking people early and trust me...some of those girls were NOT in my BP and werent even invited to the wedding.
Honestly-my MOH was and has been my best friend since HS...and she WAS genuinely interested-I never asked for any of them to bend over for anything! They did NOTHING to help for my wedding b/c I understood that people have their own lives, etc. About 6 months before the wedding it became complicated having her as my MOH...she didnt want to walk down the aisle alone, didnt want to fix my dress or veil for fear of tripping...she even made snide comments the weeks before the wedding and the day of. If she doesnt seem interest in a few months then maybe choose someone else. You want someone who is going to be slightly interested and HONORED that you consider them to be that important and that close to you. MANY people have asked me what was wrong with my MOH the day of my wedding b/c she had this scowl on her face all day!
Just think twice about it-she may make your planning days a living hell
