MOH Confusion....HELP

I will be engaged shortly (hopefully, very shortly) and have been running the issue of WHO to pick as my MOH.

The situation is tough too b/c this w/b my 2nd wedding (FH's first)--so we are having a big ole wedding.

I'm not having any of my girls from the first time b/c I don't think it is fair to them to buy another dress, pay $, etc.

The choice w/b between my SIL (bro's wife) who I am close to, but not VERY close to. I won't just call her on a Saturday to go to lunch or out shopping. We email/talk, but aren't very close.

The 2nd choice is a friend that has been friends for years, we worked together, went on vacations together, I was in her wedding (her sis was her MOH). BUT she has 2 boys who would not be invited to the wedding & there would definitely be hard feelings about her not being able to have her sons there.

My TOP choice is my best friend in the world in Texas. We've been friends since we were 11 & I am closer to her than anyone. BUT she has 3 kids, is married & is not currently working....obviously her money situation is tight. I doubt she would have the money for a dress, a ticket up here, hotel expenses, etc. I haven't talked to FH, but I guess an option would be to pay for her dress. Also w/ the kids & such, not sure she'd even be able to get away for a long weekend. But it would mean the world to me to have her there...

Also, the other negative w/ Tx. friend is she wouldn't be here for a shower or for planning things/helping me out very much. She also (being from a tiny town in Texas) has not even ever been to a huge NY wedding & does not know the protocol, etc. Whereas the other 2 girls would be valuable in that area.
What do you think?

Thanks....FH is fine...his parents have been looking at places for the engagement party already. He has the ring, its just a matter of when (b4 May)...

Anyone else comments re: MOH?

We're going to have about 5-6 in the wedding party (each).

Naturally I would say your BF in Texas but it's easier said than done. You obviously really want her there. You might want to ask her and if you can afford to pick up the tab of her dress it might make her decision easier. If she declines then I would say SIL would be your next best bet. Hope it all works out for you.

That's tough. A MOH has big responsibilities, and when they are trying to work all those responsibilities from out of town, it gets even harder. Add to that no job, family responsibilities, and it can be almost impossible.

IMHO, I would pick FSIL. You're not that close now, but having her as a MOH is definitely an opportunity to draw you even closer with someone who is going to be family after all. And she's probably in a better position to carry out the responsibility, since you guys say you are going to have a 'big ole wedding.' I hope it works outl.

Personally I would go for the girl in Texas. See if you can get her a ticket in advance for very cheap and maybe you can purchase her ticket and or dress as her gift. I dont count on my MOH for planning at all. Im making sure it gets done by doing it myself or at least having my hand in it LOL

I just think a best friend is the best way to go.