MOH drama

b2b2013 Posted: Feb 21, 2012 11:04 PM

MOH drama

My MOH (best friend of 20+ years) and I had a big argument over issues with her loser boyfriend about 3 weeks ago. Normally we have a tiff and are over it in a day, but we literally haven't talked at all.

I'm so sick of being treated like a back burner friend when it comes to her and her bf's (she was the same one who was engaged the same time as me and broke it off). IDK if it's a jealousy thing or if we're just in two different places in our lives, but either way I'm really sad about it.

I think it's time to pick a new MOH

Sweetpea1 Posted: Feb 21, 2012 11:36 PM

Re: MOH drama

I would try and talk to her first and then if things arent resolved then it may be a good idea to pick someone else. Because while you respect her personal life and time, you def need someone who is there for your 100 percent.

KristyANDMatt224 Posted: Feb 21, 2012 11:39 PM

Re: MOH drama

i'm sorry catherine! maybe she just needs time before it blows over and then you can talk it out. good luck

b2b2013 Posted: Feb 21, 2012 11:41 PM

Re: MOH drama

Is it bad that I don't want to even be the one to call her?? I know it sounds like 5th grade B S but I really feel like she's in the wrong. IDK what the hell I'm gonna do- I don't want to lose a good friend but I don't feel like going through this all the time either.

thanks for listening ladies

staceface323 Posted: Feb 22, 2012 12:28 AM

Re: MOH drama

I can't even begin to tell you the **** my sister has pulled since i have gotten engaged, luckily she's not my moh but o have already told her that if she doesn't want to be happy for me and stand up next to me that its no sweat off my back but i refuse to bring drama (unless brought upon by me...lol) to my wedding. I actually reconnected with my old best friend who I had a falling out with (after we decided to live together and things didn't go as planned). After we got engaged I was sitting at my parents house and i couldmt imagine not having her in my bridal party I took her out to dinner and we spoke and cried and I asked her to be a part of my day and so far she has been the best bm so you really never know. Sometimes people just grow apart and even though its a hard realozation its life. I would try though to see if its salvagable before asking someone else especially seeing as you have over a year til u get married.

mattandjess2013 Posted: Feb 22, 2012 07:41 AM

Re: MOH drama

I know it doesn't seem like it now, but things will work out for the better.

Eunified Posted: Feb 22, 2012 08:49 AM

Re: MOH drama

I feel your pain.. I haven't spoke to my bestie since December..

torresm Posted: Feb 22, 2012 09:20 AM

Re: MOH drama

Just give it some time to cool down and then talk to her about the situation, if you still feel like you want a new MOH then let her know. I hope everything gets better Catherine!

Shimmerette Posted: Feb 22, 2012 09:39 AM

Re: MOH drama

Posted by b2b2013

Is it bad that I don't want to even be the one to call her?? I know it sounds like 5th grade B S but I really feel like she's in the wrong. IDK what the hell I'm gonna do- I don't want to lose a good friend but I don't feel like going through this all the time either.

thanks for listening ladies

I definitely hear you on this. I haven't really spoken to my best friend (and my godmother's daughter) in almost two years. I also do not want to be the one to call because I know I will just enter into the same cycle we've always been in. She too has consistently put boyfriend after boyfriend as her priority over not just me, but all of her friends and even her family.

Because of this I didn't even ask her to be a part of the wedding party. You want your bridesmaids and especially your maid of honor to be women who will be there to support you not only for your wedding but for the rest of your life.

I am not sure of the details of your relationship with your best friend, but that is important to remember. Is she still someone you see as being a big part of the rest of your life despite what has happened between you? Is she someone that you will be able to count on for support? If so, then you may want to look into being the bigger person and trying to mend things, and God do I feel like I am eating my own words here. But either way, it is up to you, and you need to do what you feel is best for you.

vanillataco Posted: Feb 22, 2012 10:45 AM

Re: MOH drama

I totally agree with Shimmerette. I feel like sometimes people just grow apart...I have this friend that ive also known for 20 yrs and we grew up with each other. As time went on our priorities became different but we still remained in contact. This friend is a serial monogamous and has always put the men in her life ahead of everyone else even though none of them last...Even though we've known each other for so long, I'm prob not going to ask her to be in my wedding party. I want someone who can truly express joy for my day and who isnt going to stress me out.

Courtz Posted: Feb 22, 2012 01:10 PM

Re: MOH drama

Definitely sounds like a hint of jealousy! Especially with her having a broken engagment... but even though it's been 20+ years you are seeing her true colors.

You should be the bigger person (even though I know you don't want to be) and see if she'll meet you to talk. You take the first step and if she follows maybe it can be resolved, if not you will know you tried and you can walk away.

It's hard but you deserve better!

Kguardz Posted: Feb 22, 2012 02:15 PM

Re: MOH drama

sorry your going thru that girly
my best friend of 16+ years and i went through something similar 3 years ago. We were both dating guys each other did not like and ended up getting into a fight over it and it totally changed our friendship. It became even more akward when i broke up with my ex and she is still to this day dating the same guy. hes much improved and i like him now but we are only recently getting back to the way things used to be. Friends with crappy boyfriends is always a touchy subject no matter how strong your friendship is

MarryTheNight24 Posted: Feb 22, 2012 03:20 PM

Re: MOH drama

Posted by b2b2013

Is it bad that I don't want to even be the one to call her?? I know it sounds like 5th grade B S but I really feel like she's in the wrong. IDK what the hell I'm gonna do- I don't want to lose a good friend but I don't feel like going through this all the time either.

thanks for listening ladies

As much as it sucks, you should be the bigger person and call her. But tell her how you feel and if she doesn't apologize and the convo doesn't resolve anything than maybe you should reevaluate your friendship.

I can totally relate to what you're going through. Honestly, I don't understand how some women, or should I say 'girls', think. If you're friend gets engaged to someone they love and makes them happy why can't they just be happy? Jealousy is so ugly and I have a BM I've almost had up to here with because of it.

2013Bride Posted: Feb 22, 2012 04:47 PM

Re: MOH drama

So sorry you are going through this

Sabellabride12 Posted: Feb 22, 2012 06:14 PM

Re: MOH drama

Weddings either bring out the best in worst in people and it's usually the worst by someone you would least expect it.

Irishbride16 Posted: Feb 22, 2012 07:17 PM

Re: MOH drama

Im so sorry catherine ...thats just horrible that she is treating u that way and need to get over herself and get a reality check ...i hope things get better for u b/c thats the last thing u should be dealing with right now ..good luck hun

FutureMrsC2013 Posted: Feb 22, 2012 07:36 PM

Re: MOH drama

I'm sorry to hear you guys aren't on the same page right now. But, after being friends for so long maybe just write her an e-mail if you don't want to call. It's so hard to find someone who is going to stick by you through thick and thin. Maybe she is jealous or maybe she's afraid you're moving on without her. Does it upset you to think of your wedding day without her?

b2b2013 Posted: Feb 22, 2012 07:42 PM

Re: MOH drama

Posted by FutureMrsC2013

I'm sorry to hear you guys aren't on the same page right now. But, after being friends for so long maybe just write her an e-mail if you don't want to call. It's so hard to find someone who is going to stick by you through thick and thin. Maybe she is jealous or maybe she's afraid you're moving on without her. Does it upset you to think of your wedding day without her?

It really does. We have been through so much together and I keep saying 'I don't care' but I know that if I didn't care than I wouldn't be bothered by it. I just don't know what talking to her will do about it. She's mad that I don't like her bf and that won't change bc I REFUSE to associate with people like him and I won't lower my standards for anyone. UGH it's so tough

You ladies are the best though. Sometimes it's so much better to talk to people outside of the scenario to get a new perspective. I'm going to give it until the weekend and if I don't hear from her I'll have to suck it up and be the one to make the first step. Thank you again ladies... idk what I would do without you sometimes

linda_art Posted: Feb 22, 2012 10:51 PM

Re: MOH drama

I feel for you! rather than kick out my MOH we added another and the first one, bf of 16 yrs still does nothing and has been a pain. I will not at all be involved if she ever gets married. Take care of yourself and your happiness!