MOH dropped out with 2 weeks left!!!!!!!!!!

I just checked my e-mail and I had a note from one of my MOH (who's also my cousin and I was her MOH 5 years ago). Anyway, today, 2 weeks before my wedding she e-mails me to say she's been having personal issues of anxiety and depression and cannot make the 8 hour trip to my wedding. I'm not sure whether to be hurt or angry or just sad. I'm angry that she not only told me via e-mail, but waited until now to tell me. I'm hurt as I've been there whenever she has needed me and she backed out at the last minute. And I'm sad she don't be there and that her husband's an a-hole to boot. Not to mention that it disrupts the wedding party (we only asked 4 people each), the programs are already printed, etc.

What should I do? Do I just have the other MOH double up with the Best Man and a groomsman? Do I frantically try to find a friend that is close to her size to fill it? Any advice would be appreciated.
Sorry so long and thanks for reading

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Posted by AllyDrew1108

omg, i am shocked to hear that. i don't even have any advice other than deep breaths and it will be fine. thank god you picked two. i only have one! have them double up, nobody will notice the programs - though i can see your concern. wow, a family member no less, yikes. hope she feels better, but wow.

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'wow', those were my exact words...

You should definitely call her and let her know how you feel and how important it is that she be there for you. Maybe you can help her work through her anxiety so she can come

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Posted by kimNanthony

You should definitely call her and let her know how you feel and how important it is that she be there for you. Maybe you can help her work through her anxiety so she can come

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thanks, if only there were more than 2weeks left!!!!

wow is right

sorry you're going thru this.

It sounds like she's really depressed.
You may not want to hear this right now but clinical depression is widely misunderstood and underestimated. This condition can literally knock you off your feet to the point where you can't function like a normal person. Even getting out of bed is a major undertaking. Imagine feeling like crap 24/7 and not having the energy or motivation to do ANYTHING -- depression is a terrible thing.

I think you should talk to her.

man, i just hope you're ok. like you can't let this ruin your special day. you are reacting like any of us would. i'd be dying right now :( it's my fear that one of my girls is going to bail on me. one already did but i knew she would, luckily she bailed like a month after she said yes.

i hope everything is ok. i'm so selfish, i wouldn't be able to face her again. i'm so cruel, i know. i'm sure you're a mature girl and will forgive and forget, i'd be livid and angry for a very long time :(

omg
i am sooo speechless!!!!
try talking to her

everything will work out.

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Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

wow is right

sorry you're going thru this.

It sounds like she's really depressed.
You may not want to hear this right now but clinical depression is widely misunderstood and underestimated. This condition can literally knock you off your feet to the point where you can't function like a normal person. Even getting out of bed is a major undertaking. Imagine feeling like crap 24/7 and not having the energy or motivation to do ANYTHING -- depression is a terrible thing.

I think you should talk to her.

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I agree. Depression is a serious illness. That is probably why she e-mailed you, she is afraid of confrontation and doesn't have the energy to discuss the situation. Depressed people just want to be left alone.

As for your wedding, don't stress!!! Your wedding will be beautiful and everything will work out. Do you have anyone else that can stand in? If you are concerned about getting a dress in 2 wks and if you're bridesmaid's dress is not available, then find something different sticking with the same color.

Don't get upset with her, she's family....try to talk to her and if she doesn't come, then worry about your wedding and try to help her when it's all over.

Good luck...sorry for the both of you.

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Posted by brideinstride

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Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

wow is right

sorry you're going thru this.

It sounds like she's really depressed.
You may not want to hear this right now but clinical depression is widely misunderstood and underestimated. This condition can literally knock you off your feet to the point where you can't function like a normal person. Even getting out of bed is a major undertaking. Imagine feeling like crap 24/7 and not having the energy or motivation to do ANYTHING -- depression is a terrible thing.

I think you should talk to her.

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I agree. Depression is a serious illness. That is probably why she e-mailed you, she is afraid of confrontation and doesn't have the energy to discuss the situation. Depressed people just want to be left alone.

As for your wedding, don't stress!!! Your wedding will be beautiful and everything will work out. Do you have anyone else that can stand in? If you are concerned about getting a dress in 2 wks and if you're bridesmaid's dress is not available, then find something different sticking with the same color.

Don't get upset with her, she's family....try to talk to her and if she doesn't come, then worry about your wedding and try to help her when it's all over.

Good luck...sorry for the both of you.

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I really agree with both of these ladies. Its hard sometimes to see the bigger picture. She may not be capable of even speaking right now. I don't think she is trying to hurt you, although it does hurt. Your wedding will be fine. I wouldn't try to fill her shoes -- you should have people there because you want them, not to even out numbers. It will be fine doubling up. A lot of people do that. You could give her a call to see how she is doing. It must be pretty bad for her to go to this extreme. Relax and breathe, it will all work out.

I hope this works out for you Angela. I'm sorry to have this stress so close to the wedding....

I'm a psychiatric therapist, so i'm fully aware of what anxiety and depression can do. But knowing her, I believe it's her husband not her...

I'm not hurt or angry that's she's not coming because she is 'depressed', but depression isn't something that you suddenly develop... she should have canceled sooner.. Like before the processional order was written, the programs were printed (theres $200 down the drain), the count given to the RH (another $225), etc. Now not only is she not coming, but it's costing me a lot time to reprint everything, reorganize ceremony, figure out of one of my good friends will stand in her place, and a lot of $$$$!

Thanks to all you ladies, I do truly appreciate you advice and support!

WOW!!!
Do not knwo what to say...Need to think about this...Right now I think you should call her and keep calling until she picks up...