MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

Spitzergirl Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:22 AM

MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

I am a little bit upset, my maidoh is not planning my bridal shower, all she talks about is her relationship w/ her bf. I feel down, because I know her for about 19 yrs. A co-worker at my job says she will help do it, but when I asked her should I let my MOH know what she is suppose to do, she said, No! . Don't tell her anything, I will do it for you. In my MOH defense, she has been to plenty weddings, but I don't think she has ever been the MOH & know what her responsibilities are.

Just letting some steam off!!!

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:23 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

Well I have no sympathy for her. If she would take a breath, stop talk about the bf and find out what her duties are then she would be doing fine, plain old selfishness...........

ps - can u tell I have my MOH issues

Spitzergirl Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:28 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

Posted by NYCHICK

Well I have no sympathy for her. If she would take a breath, stop talk about the bf and find out what her duties are then she would be doing fine, plain old selfishness...........

ps - can u tell I have my MOH issues

Yup!!

I have other people giving me tips and pointers. But, not her! I feel really bad. I just don't know if she don't know--or don't care

divabride Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:29 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

Would you be able to mention something to one of your other bridesmaids? Maybe tell her to have a talk with your MOH and tell her that she's responsible for the bridal shower. I would expect the MOH to lead the plans with the bridal shower, but I would also expect all the BM's to help out...

SReidy Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:30 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

Can one of your other bridesmaids send out the 'bridal party responsibilities' from the knot or wedding channel in an email (*without you knowing*)? Maybe if the girl saw it in writing she would realize that she's not doing her part.

AliKing Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:31 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

How do you know that she hasnt done anything? maybe she has and its a secret?

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:35 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

I hear you on this -

Sorry you are going thru this it is hard

Spitzergirl Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:37 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

Hi ladies...

Unfortunately, the rest of the bridal party...lives out of town.

My MOH right now is planning her trip to florida right about now. I believe if she was doing it, she would have contacted my mom, for the listing of the rest of my gf.

KathleenG Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:39 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

I can sympathize with you!! I have a feeling FH is trying to plan my shower by himself!! Is there a more reliable friend that you may be able to drop hints?

jill13bean Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:40 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

I have to say yes that hurts that she does not want to help but i you cant expect people to do things. You never know today. My MOH is 3 states away but she is my best friend and i wanted her to be my MOH. I am sure she will help plan the shower but my mother and FMIl will probably do the most.
Does she know that she should be helping?
The shower is a surprise how do you know she didn't do it yet?

Spitzergirl Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:51 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

My moh did not contact my mom....she is on her way to florida w/ bf......and I know her for about 19 years. She does not know my other gf. Plus, I do believe she would be contacting my mom. I am very close with my mom. My co-worker contacted my mom.

When, my co-worker called my mom they spoke about my shower-late last night.

This morning my co-worker told me that my moh is dense. I told her not to say that...bec. maybe she does not have a clue . But, my co-worker is running with the fire now, she is starting to make plans. But, I still deep down inside want to tell my moh...that she neglected to help out planning with the shower in a nice way. I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings....

AliKing Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:54 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

I think you can mention it with out hurting her feelings. maybe just do it in passing, like joking around? Or somehow bringin it to her attention that the wedding is going to be here before you know it and you cant wait for your bach party and the shower?
By the way, it sounds like you have a really great friend (your co-worker)!!!

steph4777 Posted: Mar 04, 2004 09:57 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

Sorry you are going through this...Things will work out.

Here's what did for everyone in my BP. I sent them all personalized letters thanking them for being a part of the BP. I included info about their dress, info on cost and sizing, etc.... I also included a contact list of everyone in the BP (with email, home, and cell #) and a little card highlighting the roles and resposibilities of the MOH and BMs in each of their letters. That was my way of letting them know what their role is in the wedding.

I have friends from my childhood, JHS and college in the wedding. So they all don't know each other, but they do know of each other. To break the ice, I plan to send an email this week to all of them to introduce everyone to each other. I am gonna tell how I know each of them and something fun about their personality.

Spitzergirl Posted: Mar 04, 2004 10:04 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

Yes...that is an awesome way of letting the bridal party know. I have a sheet to give my moh somewhere with the duties...but, i misplaced it-that I got from the wedding center. I will try to look for it.

Thanks..if it was up to this co-worker, I would have been married don from last year!!!! she is really sweet, but she does not want me to even talk to my moh about this.

september2004 Posted: Mar 04, 2004 10:05 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

can we switch MOH's? i don't want a shower and lord knows what my BM's will plan, hopefully something totally low key if anything...

i would stay focused on the positive and be grateful your co-worker is so nice to take charge. if your MOH isn't annoyed with the fact that your co-worker is taking over then just let it be. you want a shower and you will get one this way. one can't 'force' another to want to do something and contribute, doing so would take away from it. hang in there and just be happy someone else is taking care of it!

Spitzergirl Posted: Mar 04, 2004 10:09 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

Posted by september2004

can we switch MOH's? i don't want a shower and lord knows what my BM's will plan, hopefully something totally low key if anything...

i would stay focused on the positive and be grateful your co-worker is so nice to take charge. if your MOH isn't annoyed with the fact that your co-worker is taking over then just let it be. you want a shower and you will get one this way. one can't 'force' another to want to do something and contribute, doing so would take away from it. hang in there and just be happy someone else is taking care of it!

Thanks!!!

jill13bean Posted: Mar 04, 2004 10:15 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

maybe one of your BM can contact your maid of honor to ask her what is going on with the shower. That way it isn't coming from you and really the whole bridal party plans the shower. I have heard of that too.
I hope everything works out for you. It seems like you have some great friends at work... Are they in your bridal party?

divabride Posted: Mar 04, 2004 10:15 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

Does your mom know your MOH? Maybe your mom can call her and mention that she's beginning to plan your shower and wanted MOH's imput.

Spitzergirl Posted: Mar 04, 2004 11:00 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

My co-worker...is not in the bridal party, I was going to put her, but then, I would have too many people. I have a total of 4 girls. 3 bm will problay not make the bridal shower bec. they live out of town. That is fine with me.

Mom is going to have a lil talk with moh preety soon, when co-worker and her start planning. I just feel a little stupid, that co-worker has to plan bridal shower, and then she may have to do...a surprise bridal shower for me at work. (if she does , which I am sure she will) Her plate is very full right about now.

nsgraham Posted: Mar 04, 2004 11:00 AM

Re: MOH NOT DOING HER JOB

Posted by divabride

Does your mom know your MOH? Maybe your mom can call her and mention that she's beginning to plan your shower and wanted MOH's imput.

I'm thinking this may be a good idea as well. It'll all work out!