MOH situation

So, I orginially was thinking about having my sister as MOH. The problem is that we aren't that close and she's been completely unhelpful. My mom would be soooo upset if I didn't pick her as MOH.

So, I was thinking of selecting my FSIL as matron of honor and having my sister as maid of honor. My mom thinks that would take away from my sister....ummmmm I DON'T CARE!!! My day- PERIOD!!

Also, is it weird to have a man of honor?? One of my best friend's is a guy, but I wish he were a girl right now because this situation would be soooooo much easier!!!

go with the sister and FSIL

that way both sides are represented with you

See if your MOH can be another best man for your FSIL

This really s u c k s!! I feel like just eloping and screwing this whole process. It's stressful and I feel like I'm spending more time making everyone else happy!!!!

I don't think you should have to apease your mother or anyone else. I would lay it out for her and tell her simply the title MOH should go to someone who deserves it. If she wants your sister to have the title, then she should make sure your sister does her part...sit them both down...be reasonable and let them know you need their help and attention and it is about you and your FH, not about anytihng else. Give her a list of things you will need her to head up and manage. If she can't do it, you really need to consider someone else... and really detail calls she would have to make and who to be in touch with, etc.

trust me... delivered in a nice, calm and reasonable tone, she may be flattered but pass it up and you will get what you want. I have several friends in the same situation and it worked for them

Good luck!

ITA!!!!

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Posted by Nina1010

I don't think you should have to apease your mother or anyone else. I would lay it out for her and tell her simply the title MOH should go to someone who deserves it. If she wants your sister to have the title, then she should make sure your sister does her part...sit them both down...be reasonable and let them know you need their help and attention and it is about you and your FH, not about anytihng else. Give her a list of things you will need her to head up and manage. If she can't do it, you really need to consider someone else... and really detail calls she would have to make and who to be in touch with, etc.

trust me... delivered in a nice, calm and reasonable tone, she may be flattered but pass it up and you will get what you want. I have several friends in the same situation and it worked for them

Good luck!

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Posted by Nina1010

I don't think you should have to apease your mother or anyone else. I would lay it out for her and tell her simply the title MOH should go to someone who deserves it. If she wants your sister to have the title, then she should make sure your sister does her part...sit them both down...be reasonable and let them know you need their help and attention and it is about you and your FH, not about anytihng else. Give her a list of things you will need her to head up and manage. If she can't do it, you really need to consider someone else... and really detail calls she would have to make and who to be in touch with, etc.

trust me... delivered in a nice, calm and reasonable tone, she may be flattered but pass it up and you will get what you want. I have several friends in the same situation and it worked for them

Good luck!

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Thanks for the advice. It's so aggravating on how this situation is making me completely HATE all this wedding stuff. It's suppose to be a happy time and I want to be surrounded by people who are actually going to want to be part of my wedding. When I first got engaged, FSIL was looking up RH and soooo excited. She even contacted her friend who knows someone who works at Oheka Castle. FSIL and her husband (who's also the best man) even came with us when we were looking at one of the reception halls. I wouldn't mind having my sister as a maid of honor, but I really want FSIL. She's excited and I know she'd help out. I can actually picture having a good time planning my wedding with her. Honestly, I can't picture having 'fun' while planning my wedding if only my sister were the maid of honor.

My mom even went as far as telling me that she won't come to our engagement dinner if I didn't have my sister as the maid of honor.
I was really upset and just hung up on her. I don't think she would do that, but, way to PISS ME OFF!!!

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Posted by MrandMrsP

go with the sister and FSIL

that way both sides are represented with you

See if your MOH can be another best man for your FSIL

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ITA

I would do you sister and SIL!!
imo its better to have family!

I had my best friend because i dont have a sister, but thinking about it i wish i picked my sil (my brothers wife) she basically did everything anyways

It makes me so angry that she thinks I will 'take away' from my sister!!!
She's done squat and doesn't help at all. It's my day and I could honestly care less how she feels!!!! Maybe if she wasn't such a 'hater' things would be different!!!

I went to a wedding where the bride had her brother as the man of honor - i think it's the cutest thing

I think it's a great idea to have a Matron and Maid of honor if your not 100% comfortable with having sis as MOH alone.

I think it's perfectly fine to have a Man of Honor, but if that's the case I would still have sis as Maid of Honor too.

I vote FSIL , you need someone who is going to help you and who you are comfortable with.

your Man of honor isnt going to help you out of your dress if you have to go to the bathroom.

im having my sister and my best friend as my MOHs, then one of my other best friends whom is a guy is going to be a bridesmaid and will be paired to FH sister ( who will stand behind FH)....