we have a friend of the family, lets call her Jane. Jane was originally my sister's best friend but since her homelife wasn't so great, my mom and dad basically took her in. She's also my brother's confirmation sponsor.
when it came to choosing the bridal party my mom was pushing for her to be in it, but i had my heart set on certain people and she wasn't one of them. i said we can find something else for Jane to do.
yesterday Jane calls my mom to wish her a happy mother's day and they are discussing the wedding. supposedly Jane thought she was going be a BM and sounded hurt when she found out I had already picked all my girls and their dresses where ordered. so my mom decided to tell Jane she was going to be a reader in the ceremony. Here's the problem: WE HAD ALREADY CHOSEN 3 other people!!! we didn't ask them yet, (thank god) but we had picked certain people we were planning on asking this week.
Jane called me and when she took me, I didn't correct her right way b/c I was caught off guard. Im so mad at my mom.
what should i do??? FH suggested we make the 2 presenter of the gifts into 3.
Bride908
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Re: mom is giving away ceremony jobs!! (semi-long)
I think thats what I would do. Your mom already told her so if I were you I would just leave it alone. Of course this is just me if you really feel that strongly than tell her the truth. But remember feelings will be hurt and is it really worth it?
jonsgirl04
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Re: mom is giving away ceremony jobs!! (semi-long)
Somehting similar happened to me and we are having 4 readers. We are having 2 people split one of the readings. We chose a longer reading so they all could participate. So is there any way to have 4 and split it up?
TrueLoveIn2008
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Re: mom is giving away ceremony jobs!! (semi-long)
Posted by jonsgirl04
Somehting similar happened to me and we are having 4 readers. We are having 2 people split one of the readings. We chose a longer reading so they all could participate. So is there any way to have 4 and split it up?
I would either do this or just call her and tell her that your mom got it wrong, she isn't going to be a reader but a gifts presenter. Tell her you had discussed it with your mom, but she just misunderstood ...
Espo22
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Re: mom is giving away ceremony jobs!! (semi-long)
well what happened to me is that fh told me theres 3 readers so we asked 3 people to do the readings. Then i had to pick the readings and i was looking at the program the church gave to us as a guideline and i realized that for a mass there are 3 readers because theres a prayer a reader does but for a ceremony only there is no 3rd reader we had already asked them so couldn't tell one of them oh nevermind you cant do it. So my DOC suggested we split one of the readings
Kerin2804
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Re: mom is giving away ceremony jobs!! (semi-long)
Mom put you in a tough spot. Sorry about that. The idea about having 3 gift presenters is a good one. Part of me wishes we were having a church wedding so we could include more people.
kristin597
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Re: mom is giving away ceremony jobs!! (semi-long)
I'm gonna agree with the other girls and say that if you can split the readings, do that. Sorry your mom is making things difficult.
bemyyoko
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Re: mom is giving away ceremony jobs!! (semi-long)
is there another job you could give her instead? It's your wedding, and not for nothing, but the people who do the readings should be the people YOU want to do them. The ceremony is so important, it's what makes the day a wedding and not just a party. I don't think you should settle or cave to avoid hurt feelings b/c this could end up bugging you for the rest of your life.
If there is something else she can do, I'd call her and be like, 'Jane, I just realized that you said you'd be doing a reading at the wedding, my mom must have been confused b/c you're actually doing [fillintheblank]'.
and then just leave it like that. if she's upset, i'm sure she'll get over it, as long as she's still included.
08JulyBride
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Re: mom is giving away ceremony jobs!! (semi-long)
I think I'd leave her as a reader if she was already told she's 1.. would be very awkward trying to take it back at this point. I'd be a little mad at mom though.. perhaps you need to make it clear that she can't give anyone else jobs.
Wifeynella
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Re: mom is giving away ceremony jobs!! (semi-long)
thanks ladies... i think i'm going to ask her to present the gifts instead and just put it on my mom that she was confused. i called mom and explained who has what job and that from now on, to refer the questions to me.
