Mom's issue with BP

So I have pretty big (but awesome) bridal party of 2 MOH and 8 BM. Part of the reason for the size is because I have 4 sisters and 1 FSIL, so that right there is half! Personally I am more than okay with the girls that I've asked. My mom on the other hand is not. She thinks I'm nuts to have that many and that I should ask people to back out. I tried to explain that I didn't (nor could I choose between my family and my close friends) really have a choice. Well she told me last night that she wants me to pull all of my sisters, and that they would understand. I was dumbfounded! I honestly can't picture my day without my sisters or my friends. I told her my party is final and she'll have to deal with it. Am I being too harsh?

Not sure if this is relevant but my FH and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, so I'm very adamant about making decisions for us instead of for other people.

Mom's issue with BP

Do what you want! It is not your Mom's wedding nor is she paying for it!!

Mom's issue with BP

I couldn't picture my day without my sister as well. If you want 8 people then have 8 people. I think of it this way to the more the better at times especially at shower time. For my brothers wedding there were 3 of us and our shares for the shower and whole bm duties wasn't cheap. The more you have I think the better it is for them financially when it comes to shower and bachelorette party.

Mom's issue with BP

Ugh! Your mom should be HAPPY you have so many people that love you and you love that you want by your side that day!!! It's not like you just randomly picked up people off the street!! they're obviously important to you!

Mom's issue with BP

I would just explain to her that you need your sisters on your day and your friends are too excited to ask them to back out. :( hth!

Mom's issue with BP

you have every right to be firm with your mom- and like you said- she's not paying... in my opinion, your day, your money, your way!!!

besides- you choose those people because you just can't see yourself getting married without them by your side. in the end, i feel if you did what your mom is telling you to you would regret it, and theres no going back. I say keep your bridal party and enjoy your wedding!! :)

Mom's issue with BP

If youre paying for it as much as shes your mother its your wedding!! I couldn't imagine not having my best friends there. My mother was giving me a hard time about one of my bffs shes disliked since we were kids. Shes lucky I didnt make her my moh because of my sister. Sigh. Mothers w will always have their opinions. HtH!

Mom's issue with BP

I agree with the other girls this is your wedding do what you want to do.

Mom's issue with BP

Your money your day your wedding your sisters!! I'm surprised your mom doesn't want them in the BP! But stand your ground, it's a large BP but for a reason

Mom's issue with BP

Did your mother give an exact reason why she thinks 'too big' is a bad thing? I'm surprised she would even suggest her 3 other daughters to back out. I have 7 girls in my party as well, and my mother passed away a long time ago, so to me - i think it's an advantage so there is most cost sharing. more girls to help, more girls to split the bridal shower, etc. i have to pay more for bridal gifts and bouquets - but it's my day and i wanted the important women in my life to share my day!

I am sure it will blow over w/your mom. Just let her know that you stand firm and that it's not worth discussing or having an issue over.

Re: Mom's issue with BP

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Posted by winnie52376

Did your mother give an exact reason why she thinks 'too big' is a bad thing? I'm surprised she would even suggest her 3 other daughters to back out. I have 7 girls in my party as well, and my mother passed away a long time ago, so to me - i think it's an advantage so there is most cost sharing. more girls to help, more girls to split the bridal shower, etc. i have to pay more for bridal gifts and bouquets - but it's my day and i wanted the important women in my life to share my day!

I am sure it will blow over w/your mom. Just let her know that you stand firm and that it's not worth discussing or having an issue over.

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My mom's exact words were it will look like a circus and that I was stupid. I really do love my mom, but she's a control freak and she simply has no control or say in the situation.

Mom's issue with BP

Thank you so much ladies! I really thought I was going nuts for a few moments. But I'm happy with my bridal party as is FH, and I just have to keep reminding myself that, that is all that matters!

Mom's issue with BP

You need to do what makes you happy. This day is about you and your FH. No one, not even our mothers, should try to change that.

Mom's issue with BP

My mom has been way too into telling me what I should and should not do. We are also paying for most of our wedding. Do what YOU want to do, and don't do things just to appease her. When your day comes, she'll see it's not a 'circus'. I would never pull people from my BP just because there were too many girls!

Mom's issue with BP

I have 2 MOH's and 10 bridesmaids...ALL related to me and I don't care what people think. How is it liek a circus? They just walk down an aisle. I am having them all in the same color, fabric and length but each a different style. Since I had so many girl I decided to do that so I think its more like a fashion show. LOL We are also paying for the wedding ourselves so everyone knows better than to say anything to me. It just is a lot with the bouquets and gifts but other than that they are bestest girls!

Mom's issue with BP

I wouldn't be too worried about what your mom says. As much as I'm sure she's trying to be helpful, you don't need more stress while planning. All you need to say to her is 'I've made my decision, and while I appreciate your input, my decision about this situation is final.' She can't force you to change it. I'd also have one of your sisters tell her that they would NOT be understanding if they were asked to back out, that they want to be a part of this just as much as you want them to.

Mom's issue with BP

I totally agree with all of the other girls. If it is important to you for them to be up there with you, than that is that! I don't think it needs to be up for discussion. It is your day and it is great that you have that much love and support around you.

Mom's issue with BP

Say thanks for the input, but you and FH are happy with the way it is.

Re: Mom's issue with BP

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Posted by sillylily

I have 2 MOH's and 10 bridesmaids...ALL related to me and I don't care what people think. How is it liek a circus? They just walk down an aisle. I am having them all in the same color, fabric and length but each a different style. Since I had so many girl I decided to do that so I think its more like a fashion show. LOL We are also paying for the wedding ourselves so everyone knows better than to say anything to me. It just is a lot with the bouquets and gifts but other than that they are bestest girls!

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This is exactly what I'm doing too! I love the idea of making it into a fashion show! Totally never thought about that!

Re: Mom's issue with BP

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Posted by sillylily

I have 2 MOH's and 10 bridesmaids...ALL related to me and I don't care what people think. How is it liek a circus? They just walk down an aisle. I am having them all in the same color, fabric and length but each a different style. Since I had so many girl I decided to do that so I think its more like a fashion show. LOL We are also paying for the wedding ourselves so everyone knows better than to say anything to me. It just is a lot with the bouquets and gifts but other than that they are bestest girls!

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This is exactly what I'm doing too! I love the idea of making it into a fashion show! Totally never thought about that!