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Hi girls. I know this has been posted before but I forget what was said, so I will post it again. What should I do re: recieving gifts. I was considering carrying a money bag with me, but now I am thinking of getting one of those decorative boxes (cages) that guests can put the envelopes in. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can/should do. Thanks.
Denise
Personally, I don't like the cage/box idea for cards at a wedding. I think as we receive cards, my fiance can put them in his jacket. Maybe I will keep a money bag at my chair or with someone else to transfer the cards to. I'm not sure if I would walk around with the money bag.
I don't love the cage idea, but I'll tell you what...I have see too many brides wind up with a huge line of people waiting to give cards, at like 45 minutes before the end of the wedding bc they are leaving early....and there is no way I don't want to be dancing and enjoying my party right up until the very end, so this is why I may do the cage. I've seen like one person go to hand the bride/groom a card, and the next thing you know, 30 people jump up to do the same thing!
Some people think that putting a cage for gifts is rude. The bride and/or groom should have contact with everyone at the wedding, and gifts should be personally handed to them so that an acknowledgement or thank you can be said. On the other hand, many people do not feel this way since cages are very popular. One thing to consider though is if you have a cage, make sure that is watched by someone, because thefts at weddings do occur.
It's a matter of personal opinion, I personally like the personal touch and will carrying a money bag.
if I don't carry a money bag and I do not have a cage. Can I just collect the envelopes as I go around saying hello to my guests and when my hands are full excuse my self and go to my parents table and maybe have something there to put them in like a shopping bag, then go back to the table I left off and continue meeting and greeting. Or do you think that is tacky? I personally, don't want to carry a moneybag esp. since my dress is pink and I know I am going to have trouble finding a bag to match (more stress). I also agree that the money cage is a little impersonal (like leave your gifts at the door type of thing). What do you think?
We're doing the Money bag thing. My grandmother will be the keeper of the bag.
My fiance comes from a very traditional Italian family and their custom is that at the end of the night as people are leaving they come up to you, hand you their envelope and then we thank them for coming and give them their favor. I think for our purposes one of the wedding cake looking ones will be best. I also trust this box more as it is completly closed and locked except for the slit on top to put the envelope into. THe bird cage ones make me nervous and I am way too paranoid for them. :)
the bag during the cocktail hour. Hopefully everyone will give me the cards then. After that I will give it to a guardian or have it locked up in the catering hall somewhere. I can't be bothered with it while I am dancing the night away!
So what are you going to do then. What I suggested. Hand them to someone to put in a bag or something at one of the tables?
She's renting what looks like a standup mail-box (there in the bridal shops). Its really cute has a little slit in the top and has a lock so no one has to spend the night keeping there eye on it (you can keep it near the bridal table). Let's face it I am sure no one will be putting there own cards in it there going to be giving you there cards personally, then you can say thank you and drop them in the box and not have to worry about it again. Its an option. Good luck.
I am leaning towards the bird cage..We plan on walking around and greeting each of our guests..but I think it is more personal if you do it without the bag in your hand--I just dont feel comfortable greeting people with the money bag in my hand. Guests can chose to hand deliver the gifts/enveloples--or place them in the birdcage or box. I feel tacky walking around with a moneybag on my wrist--but thats just me..I am not comfortable with it. Do what ever you feel comfortable doing-- :)
Some people bring actualy wrapped presents. Isn't there usually a place for them? I have been to weddings where I have handed the card to the B & G, but if I see a gift table, I just leave it there. What is wrong with letting your guests decide whether they want to hand it to you or place it with the rest of the gifts? I think I must be missing something. Have I been doing something tacky all these years by leaving a card on the gift table???
By the way, I like the idea of having the money bag in the custody of one trusted person and handing the cards to that person after accumulating a bunch. The money bags always seemed strange to me. It looks like trick-or-treating with a pretty bag instead of a plastic pumpkin.
Becky
Thanks Becky. That is why I was feeling very uncomfortable with the idea of getting one. I go to my hall next week (John Anthony's) to do my final (cake, napkin colors, etc). I will ask how brides normally do handle the gift situation. That would be great if they had a gift table! The only thing is I hope all my gifts are checks. cash could be easily lost/stolen.
I'm not sure. I will probably keep it at my table (under my table) somewhere if people give them to me.
I had a money bag, which I didnt really use and a decorated box that was on a table behind ours. As we received cards my husband and I deposited them in the box. This way they were all in one place and our guests knew they personnaly handed us their card.
I have been to weddings with mailboxes/birdcages etc and I think many guests were put off by the 'deposit here' vibe they gave off.
walking around with a money bag is basically like trick-or-treating. It's like you're going over to say hi, give me your gift. I'm definitely not doing that. I like Fran M's idea about having something near where the bride and groom sits, and you put it in there yourself. I can't actually see what's so bad about having something out for your guests to put their cards in though. Obviously they know it's a wedding, you bring a gift, and they know you need somewhere to put it? I would think the guests would understand. I guess it depends on your guests.
whats the difference between the birdcage/box being a well deposit here vs. you carrying a bag going up to people saying HI..and you just happen to have this bag on your arm while you are approaching the people...for the purpose of a 'deposit here' they are both saying the same thing..so it really just narrows down to what each indiv. feels comfortable with..when you think about it both are kind of uncomfortable I think..
It could too easily be picked up and taken by someone else... there are many employees working there as well as numerous vendors walking in and out. You never know! I always thought the whole point of handing the envelope in some method to the bride and groom is so that you can personally wish them good luck and they can thank the couple for coming.
what do each of you think you are going to do. I don't feel comfortable with moneybag or cage. Maybe if we through some scenarios around, we can help each other EVEN more. Not to say your responses were not helpful!
