Morbid Monday QOTD

coldasice217 Posted: Jan 19, 2009 09:54 AM

Morbid Monday QOTD

I totally need to preface this one....if I offend or upset anyone, I apologize in advance. I obviously understand if this one goes unanswered by most, but it's something that has been bothering me lately, and I'd like to hear what others think.

So our vows (for those of us who get to have vows) say till death do us part. Unfortunately, it's going to happen one day, and barring a major catastrope, the only time a 'Notebook'-esque end happens is in...well, The Notebook.

So who do you hope goes first, and your rationalization for it?

For me I hope it's FH. It's part selfless, and part selfish. First, he is older, and it's the natural progression of things. Second, selflessly, I want to spare him the pain of losing me. Third, selfishly, I want the opportunity to be able to mourn and grieve...I have closure issues, and I would just want that to be able to find peace.

Of course, I hope this is not for at least 75 years for myself and for all of you.

Jflod710 Posted: Jan 19, 2009 10:02 AM

Re: Morbid Monday QOTD

I hope go the way my great aunt and uncle did. they died an hour apart in 2 different hospitals.

julesrbf Posted: Jan 19, 2009 10:03 AM

Re: Morbid Monday QOTD

I hope I go first. I know I would not be able to bear the pain of FH going first, and I feel like my whole life would fall apart. FH is way stronger than I am.

geegee827 Posted: Jan 19, 2009 10:04 AM

Re: Morbid Monday QOTD

I would want FH to go first. I don't think he would be able to handle being alone and I wouldn't want him to become too dependent on our children/grandchildren.

I think women are stronger than men when it comes to things like this.

MrsDtoBe09 Posted: Jan 19, 2009 10:07 AM

Re: Morbid Monday QOTD

Oh yuck, I don't like this question at all. I dont even want to think about that, forget about figuring out an answer to that question.

VeggieBride Posted: Jan 19, 2009 10:12 AM

Re: Morbid Monday QOTD

This is tough to answer because ive seen the effects of losing your life partner of over 50 years and what it does to you. You completely fall apart and a lot of the time the other person ends up dying within a year anyway.

I dont think i could handle the heart ache but at the same time i dont want him to go through that either. That is tough.

Utterhappiness Posted: Jan 19, 2009 11:59 AM

Re: Morbid Monday QOTD

Posted by MrsDtoBe09

Oh yuck, I don't like this question at all. I dont even want to think about that, forget about figuring out an answer to that question.

Ditto... I cant even bare to think of this... God forbid!

MrsList09 Posted: Jan 19, 2009 12:03 PM

Re: Morbid Monday QOTD

I'd rather go first because I think he'd move on with his life better than I would. He has all sorts of hobbies that he wants to take up so he could do those to keep him busy.

FH's grandmother just lost her husband over the summer. He had dementia and she was takign care of him for a long time so she didn't have any time to take care of herself. We thought she'd be an absolute mess because they were together for 60 years or something like that but she has been happy, upbeat, and even though she has cancer, she's gotten healthier.

gina409 Posted: Jan 19, 2009 12:08 PM

Re: Morbid Monday QOTD

i hope i go first..ive been around too much sickness in my life to have to watch my husband pass before me

WishfulRinne Posted: Jan 19, 2009 01:11 PM

Re: Morbid Monday QOTD

I hope we go together...I couldnt bear to be without him and I know he feels the same. I try not to think about it!

JennyAPH Posted: Jan 19, 2009 01:29 PM

Re: Morbid Monday QOTD

Morbid indeed

I would like to go first because I couldn't bear to live without him.. however I hope he is the one to go first, cause not only can he not bear to live without me, I don't think he would even be able to take care of himself!! And It makes me so sad to think of this old man (god willing) all alone missing his wife. So for his sake I would like to the be the one to croak last.

AugustBridein09 Posted: Jan 19, 2009 01:53 PM

Re: Morbid Monday QOTD

What a hard question.

I want us to go like the little old couple in Titanic or The Notebook......TOGETHER....I can't choose.

krislee316 Posted: Jan 19, 2009 02:19 PM

Re: Morbid Monday QOTD

Posted by Utterhappiness

Posted by MrsDtoBe09

Oh yuck, I don't like this question at all. I dont even want to think about that, forget about figuring out an answer to that question.

Ditto... I cant even bare to think of this... God forbid!

Im with you girls on this one it is making me tear up just thinking about it..... Thanks Ali lol

coldasice217 Posted: Jan 19, 2009 02:23 PM

Re: Morbid Monday QOTD

I'm sorry!!!! It was bothering me a lot, and you girls know I don't have a decency filter half the time. Like I said, I totally apologize for upsetting anyone.

ddnsp618 Posted: Jan 19, 2009 02:27 PM

Re: Morbid Monday QOTD

we talk about this all the time...we both hope FH goes first, for a few reasons...the main one being he wouldnt be able to take care of himself well...i feel so bad for those old men who you can tell their wives died and cant do anything bc they never had too.

however, with my family history (dad died of cancer, moms side all died young of heart attacks) i feel i will go first

Dani777 Posted: Jan 19, 2009 02:28 PM

Re: Morbid Monday QOTD

This is tough... I mean, I know that I wouldn't want to see him go...but I know that I will eventaully be able to get enough strenght to get out of bed and go to work. I know him too well.. if I were to go first he would be soo lost, and well, not be able to get through. I don't know...I would much rather have both of us go toghere...

melcc83 Posted: Jan 19, 2009 02:49 PM

Re: Morbid Monday QOTD

Posted by MrsDtoBe09

Oh yuck, I don't like this question at all. I dont even want to think about that, forget about figuring out an answer to that question.

totally with you this is happy time dont even wanna think about it!!!