More on Lachey and Simpson

Cindy Adams-

August 3, 2005 -- LISTEN my children, and you shall hear of a blond chick dropping a tear. Or of a husband casting a leer. Or of two people crying in their beer.
Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. Mr. and who-knows-how-long Mrs. Lachey have recently not spent all their time denying she'll take the high road and he'll take the low road. Some of this time has been spent divvying up assets.

For any who've committed the cardinal sin of not reading me Monday, I reprise what I'd printed. I'd heard: They've hired divorce lawyers, already drawn up divorce papers, even actually signed those divorce papers. Ongoing affectionate togetherness shots, repeated protestations of mutual love, muzzling this story is all because they won't harm their TV show. Therefore, since no human alive would confirm what I heard, I thus put my findings in the context of rumor. Chat. Conversation. Tittle-tattle.

That was Monday. TV shows and magazines called to get more since nobody was saying anything. I wouldn't offer more. All I'm saying today is, that as of this minute — late Tuesday — I have heard no shriek. Nobody complaining I'm a dumb, stupid, imbecilic idiot jerk who doesn't know what I'm slobbering about. In fact, there are small, tiny little reports flickering out that they are confirming a divorce settlement has been, in fact, 'executed.'



Here are two more shards of information. One: The lawyers are on the West Coast. So stop calling me on the East Coast. Call your contacts Out There. Two: While I haven't heard if this is a result of gossip about Nick having had a little extra Chia Pet on the side or on the front or wherever he had her — I have heard it was Jessica who commenced the divorce action.

Supposedly. Rumoredly. Allegedly. Possibly.