mother-in-law issues

M, so at the end of the day, are they going to give you the $4000?

Sounds like they just want to be a little more included. Its funny - some family members want to be involved, others don't....it may just be that her feelings are hurt that her son is getting married and she's not being a part of seeing the hall, etc....

You & your finance might want to sit down with his parents and ask them what is important to them on this day. We did that with both our parents at the beginning and the end of the planning process (things change over time...)At first, everyone said, 'no, its your wedding. do what you want'. But we forced them to review down a list of 'expectations' & traditions - everything from dances, seating arrangements to food.....THEN they started cropping up with things they wanted.

Oh, and by the way - 18% service charge isn't that unique. I'm not sure where you're getting married, but we're paying 17% at the Milleridge...and other places I checked out where anywhere from 15% (but they were taxing on the 15% so it was greater) to 18% (w/valet parking).

And a minimum for 150pp on a Saturday night isn't bad either.

She just may not be aware of the industry & what's standard these days......