Mother vent

I was talking to my Mom on Friday about my wedding dress etc. We got into a heated discussion about my wedding dress. She lives in Ireland and wants to be here to pick out my wedding dress but does not want to come out until Nov to do that. To me thats a little late to be ordering a wedding dress. (getting married in June) She tells me that I am obsessed with getting my wedding dress & she cant understand why I would want to get it now. Which translates to she wants me to lose weight b/4 I get a dress. Anyway she goes on to say that if she had her way I would be getting married in Ireland that that I would only have my 2 sisters as BM's and not have a shower etc. Asks why I have to follow American ways. HELLO I have been living here for 11 years. My nice Mom has turned into the wicked witch of the west. She has the nerve to ask my why i 'I get my back up' that she is my MOTHER & is allowed to have her opinion & voice it. Mean while she tells me that she may have bought a dress for the the wedding.

I could go on!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent.

I have one of those too!! My mother hates preety much everything about my wedding and posted pictures of me in my wedding dress to all her friends and family. I can relate, I usually take a deep breath and say I am the bride not you! That works for a short period of time! Good Luck sweetie!!

I am so sorry you have to deal with that. I know how mothers can considering mine is being very much the pain when it comes to the wedding. Why dont you let your mother know that this is how YOU want your wedding and since you are the bride you do have final say. With respect to dress shopping - maybe you can start looking now and take pics as you go along and mail them or e-mail them to your mom - if she sees you in a dress- she may see what she is missing out and come earlier than nov. I hope things work out

So sorry - my mother is crazy too and has had hysterical crying fits because she feels left out of all the planning - Fh and I are pretty much doing it all together! She thinks I should be including her in more of the decisions.
I'd say be honest with her - if she can have her opinion, so can you! let her know how this is making you feel, maybe she doesn't realize how she is coming across!
good luck!!

Irishbride

TG I didn't have to got through that.
Remember who's wedding it is. My mom thought the american way was a lot to take in but she kept her mouth shut..not that I think she objected to any of it.

Maybe she feels a little out of the planning, maybe you could wait till she gets here to do something else big - flowers maybe

I can totally relate...My mother makes me nuts too. When I see the urgency in getting something done, she turns it around insisting I am getting crazy about being too detailed. Whether you are adapting to 'american ways'...It is your wedding. Try to help her see the light.

My mom had a lot of issues prior to the wedding too. In Bangladesh (where my parents are from), the mother of the bride gets to plan the whole wedding and the daughter really has no say. Well, I was born and brought up here and I take care of a lot of 'American' things for my parents and really had a lot of issues with her regarding the American reception (we had 2 receptions) (how's that for a run-on?). I was fine with her planning as much or as little of the Bengali reception, but my fiance and I knew what we wanted for the American reception and knew how we wanted to go about doing it.

Mom and I fought about everything. Who the bridesmaids were (mom really wanted my brother's girlfriend, whom I really like, but they break up all the time due to cultural issues, so I couldn't be sure that they would be together during the wedding - even my brother didn't want her to be a BM for exactly that reason - could have gotten awkward). She wanted my cousin as the flower girl (I felt she was too young at 2.5 and didn't want to deal with the drama). We fought over inviting children to the reception. Inviting certain guests. Limos. You name it. It really got bad for a while and I seriously thought about getting counseling. In the end, my girl friends really helped. They were a great source of solace. Plus, I didn't realize some of the horrors some of their moms had put them through. So you are not the only one. At some point my mom must of had an epipheny (or someone finally got through to her) b/c she really calmed down the last couple of months before the wedding and things were wonderful.

It's stressful I know and LI Weddings girls are really great in giving you a shoulder to cry/vent on. Just try to take her in stride as much as you can and hope that she comes around soon!

good luck!

So sorry to hear you are going through this. My mom wants very little to do with the wedding. I think it is partially b/c she can't afford to pay for it and she feels bad. Whenever I tell her about something I plan on doing for the wedding she says 'Oh, that's different. I am trying to picture it. You should think about it some more. You have plenty of time.' Usually with the most disgusted look possible. It is such a pleasant experience.

Sorry to hear about your mother issues. Hope everything works out I have my own issues as well, my mother and her whole side of the family are not apeaking to each other and now they are starting fights with me. She's not really the problem but I just lost a good 30 people from my guest list the same week I sent out the invites!

I'm so sorry you're going through this...like some of the others have said, remind yourself AND her whose wedding it is. I like the suggestion of emailing her pics - or snail mailing - to keep her involved. That's what I do with my sister, since she lives out of state.

My own mother couldn't care less about my dress or my plans...her biggest concerns have been: what SHE's wearing, how SHE's doing her hair, if SHE'll lose any weight...and what kind of cake I'm having. I detest cake, I don't care about the cake - that is my last concern. Ugh. We don't have a very good relationship anyway - so I'm not surprised.