My BMs Stink!

This weekend is favor weekend - got some compiling to do. So I asked five of my six BMs (one is in Cali) to help me. No matter, only three could make it, and with good reason.

Today I get an email from one of the three. She can't come because she was offered tix to a b-ball game. Am I wrong to be disappointed?

i think u need to get used to it, especially if some of these girls have never been in a bp before. a lot of them dont know how to act, or what their responsibilities are.

my first bp that i was in, i have to say i wasnt the best bm, but i learned from my mistake and made up for it.

also, you have to realize, people are selfish.

hth.. dont get too upset, they are still your friends!

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Posted by R&J0806

This weekend is favor weekend - got some compiling to do. So I asked five of my six BMs (one is in Cali) to help me. No matter, only three could make it, and with good reason.

Today I get an email from one of the three. She can't come because she was offered tix to a b-ball game. Am I wrong to be disappointed?

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I wouldn't say you are wrong...you are entitled to feel that way. However...not everyone sees our day as important as we do.. you know? Try not to be upset...i'm sure she didn't do it intentionally to hurt you.

No but you can't expect other people to be like you either. I have that problem as well. Some people have different priorities - sometimes selfish ones Just remember this!!

Unfortanately no one feels how important your wedding is, as much as you do. And its not on their priority list.. wedding stuff to them easily gets shifted down.

I think its BS.. Cause ive been in a few weddings and I always help the bride. But not everyone can be as loyal. Think of it as the glass half full, you alteast have 2 girls. I had to do all my favors by myself. It took me three days on 4th of july holiday.

it does stink a little and i would be let down. i think i would feel let down b/c i'm always the one who 'bends over backwards' for other people. then i usually don't get the favor returned. to me, it's not that difficult to make things a priority if you are in a BP... it's not a 'permanent position' so you can sacrifice a little for a couple of months. but not everyone is like me so that's why i do tend to get let down sometimes and that's why i think i would feel the same way you do.

when my sister had her bachelorette party my FSIL was so excited to go, and kept talking about it, etc. then she got a boyfriend and all of her 'independence' went OUT THE WINDOW. to the point where (the other night) her BF went out with a few friends from work so i asked her if she wanted to go to dinner with us (did the right thing cuz she was alone on a friday night) and she said OK, when we were deciding where to go she didn't want to go to Friday's because it was 10 minutes away and (her words) 'what if John calls? It's a little far from my house if he decides to come over'... ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

I mean, why does there have to be a ROPE connecting you guys?? so that's kinda what she did with the bachelorette party-- ONE DAY before we were to leave (saturday and sunday at a spa, shopping, dinner, etc in PA) she says she has to leave early on Sunday (like as soon as she wakes up) so she can go to a 'school function' which I later found out was a lie (what school function occurs on a Sunday?)... she really just wanted to see her BF... I mean, can you go TWO freaking days???? Of course she went to the Spa happily... it's just ridiculous.

Things like that annoy me... people who are all about themselves b/c I'm SO not like that and would do anything to be there for someone else (esp. during their wedding!!)... but oh well, live and learn

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

Things like that annoy me... people who are all about themselves b/c I'm SO not like that and would do anything to be there for someone else (esp. during their wedding!!)... but oh well, live and learn

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Me too... I have done so much and during this wedding process see how people are. A wedding really makes u reevaluate who your friends are.

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Posted by Mitabtrfly

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Posted by R&J0806

This weekend is favor weekend - got some compiling to do. So I asked five of my six BMs (one is in Cali) to help me. No matter, only three could make it, and with good reason.

Today I get an email from one of the three. She can't come because she was offered tix to a b-ball game. Am I wrong to be disappointed?

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I wouldn't say you are wrong...you are entitled to feel that way. However...not everyone sees our day as important as we do.. you know? Try not to be upset...i'm sure she didn't do it intentionally to hurt you.

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I totally agree with this!

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Posted by smara

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

Things like that annoy me... people who are all about themselves b/c I'm SO not like that and would do anything to be there for someone else (esp. during their wedding!!)... but oh well, live and learn

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Me too... I have done so much and during this wedding process see how people are. A wedding really makes u reevaluate who your friends are.

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i know it really does! it hurts when you go out of your way for someone and they can't be bothered in return-- makes you learn a valuable lesson! only do for those who are deserving of your dedication!!

I dont think your wrong, they took on a responsibility to be your bridesmaid, if you need the help they should be there if they say they are going to!... but at the same time, dont be too upset or surprised! especially if she isnt married and doesnt understand... i would let this one roll off your back.. if you are really pressed for time and are in a jam and stressing then i'd be a little more disappointed and upset than not.. but again, dont let this one ruin your day or put a dent in your happyness :)

Good luck!

Unfortuntaely, not everyone realizes their obligation to the bride (part of being a BM is helping with the wedding planning)

But, some people won't realize until it's their turn. Just keep it in the back of your mind and go about your business.