My MOH has been trying to set up my shower, and has had a hell of time getting responses out of my BM's in the first place and now that she got past the communication issue with them...they each aren't willing to contribute $200 for my shower. I spent sooo many nights searching online until 2am looking for cheap BM dresses and I found one for them for $150 (IMO its on the cheapish side)...AND I just bought them all their BM shoes!!!! AND their DOJ is covered as well.
They can't cough up $200 for my shower? IMO, considering I have their shoes, DOJ and found them a cheap dress, I think $200 isn't bad. I am so sad I have sh*tty friends
grkbarbie
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
did u tell them about the shoes and jewelry??
Soon2bShea
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
they know about the shoes....DOJ is a gift
StellaStar13
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im sorry to hear that you are dealing w/that!!! Its def a tough situation! Have you thought about sitting them all down next time you in NY and finding out what the deal is?
FallBride2010
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is extremely selfish in my opinion!! $200 is not much to ask for when it comes to a shower. How much are they willing to contribute??!!
regy_k
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
$200 isnt bad at all. I spent so much more for my cousin's wedding stuff.
we spent $175 on the dress + $35 on alterations $180 on b-party $30 on shower (my aunt covered most of the costs)
and I am not even talking about shoes, bag, jewlery and hair
is there any way to get rid of them?
mzmahagony
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
I understand why you are upset and I would be upset too but at the same time you can not expect them to just have an extra $200 just laying around. Your wedding is your wedding so you budgeted for it, they were just asked to be a part of it and maybe they have other responsibilities as well. I'm sure that they care about you a lot and they would love to help out but just be mindful that they have their lives and their own responsibilities as well. They have to pay for their dress, hair, nails, gifts, bach party, bridal shower, maybe makeup, tons of misc. stuff and still be able to take care of their personal resp. so don't be mad at them, try to understand where they are coming from as well. I'm sure at the end of the day they will come through for you just be a little more sensitive to their concerns as well. I learned this the hard way.
grkbarbie
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
they should be ashamed of themselves.
even though my bp hasnt offered to cover any cost.. i know what im getting from them for my shower (yea..my MOH insisted on telling me what she got me.. but thats a story for another time lol! ) so they all were VERYYYYYYYYYYYY generous.
if i were you.... i wouldnt mention DOJ at alll. if they got u inexpensive stuff for your shower.. RETURN THE DOJ and dont get them ANYTHING!
MarjorieFrank
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you become a BM you should be aware that there are financial obligations. You should just throw them out of the BP, that is what I would (did) do..
Soon2bShea
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by mzmahagony
I understand why you are upset and I would be upset too but at the same time you can not expect them to just have an extra $200 just laying around. Your wedding is your wedding so you budgeted for it, they were just asked to be a part of it and maybe they have other responsibilities as well. I'm sure that they care about you a lot and they would love to help out but just be mindful that they have their lives and their own responsibilities as well. They have to pay for their dress, hair, nails, gifts, bach party, bridal shower, maybe makeup, tons of misc. stuff and still be able to take care of their personal resp. so don't be mad at them, try to understand where they are coming from as well. I'm sure at the end of the day they will come through for you just be a little more sensitive to their concerns as well. I learned this the hard way.
I know where your coming from with this...and I don't expect them to necessarily have $200 in their backpocket at the moment. But agreeing to be a BM, comes with some expenses that everyone knows about getting into this. They aren't paying for their hair, nails, make up, shoes, jewelry or anything like that. I'm not having a massive bach party, so thats not a big expense either. I just think they should be trying to work with my MOH a little. They don't need to pay that money today ya know
MrsC2010
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
im so sorry that they are being like this. people shouldnt agree to be part of a bridal party if they arent willing to pay towards the shower. bridal party traditionally pays for it and if they couldnt afford it they shouldnt have agreed to be in the wedding
JLWSJC
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by mzmahagony
I understand why you are upset and I would be upset too but at the same time you can not expect them to just have an extra $200 just laying around. Your wedding is your wedding so you budgeted for it, they were just asked to be a part of it and maybe they have other responsibilities as well. I'm sure that they care about you a lot and they would love to help out but just be mindful that they have their lives and their own responsibilities as well. They have to pay for their dress, hair, nails, gifts, bach party, bridal shower, maybe makeup, tons of misc. stuff and still be able to take care of their personal resp. so don't be mad at them, try to understand where they are coming from as well. I'm sure at the end of the day they will come through for you just be a little more sensitive to their concerns as well. I learned this the hard way.
I agree. Alot of girls don't realize the cost of what goes into helping their friend prepare to be a bride... so they say yes because they love their friend, but expenses add up quickly. Unless they're the type of people who have a lot of money all the time, i'm sure they're not doing it to cause grief... they may just not have that kind of money in addition to everything else. I would hate for that to be the reason I had to tell a good friend I couldn't be her BM
pipermaru
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
dont you wish you got to repick your bridal AFTER going through all this? like a trial run haha
FallBride2010
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Soon2bShea
Posted by mzmahagony
I understand why you are upset and I would be upset too but at the same time you can not expect them to just have an extra $200 just laying around. Your wedding is your wedding so you budgeted for it, they were just asked to be a part of it and maybe they have other responsibilities as well. I'm sure that they care about you a lot and they would love to help out but just be mindful that they have their lives and their own responsibilities as well. They have to pay for their dress, hair, nails, gifts, bach party, bridal shower, maybe makeup, tons of misc. stuff and still be able to take care of their personal resp. so don't be mad at them, try to understand where they are coming from as well. I'm sure at the end of the day they will come through for you just be a little more sensitive to their concerns as well. I learned this the hard way.
I know where your coming from with this...and I don't expect them to necessarily have $200 in their backpocket at the moment. But agreeing to be a BM, comes with some expenses that everyone knows about getting into this. They aren't paying for their hair, nails, make up, shoes, jewelry or anything like that. I'm not having a massive bach party, so thats not a big expense either. I just think they should be trying to work with my MOH a little. They don't need to pay that money today ya know
I agree with you. Being in a bridal party comes with expenses...whether you like it or not. You picked a good priced dress -- which they should appreciate. And when it comes down to it...they have a year to save!! Broken down...it's less than FOUR DOLLARS a week!
Noelsgirl
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ohh they S*uck!! they are so FIRED!!! You need to speak with them!! They should try to support you..
Jna2010
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
thats ridiculous i think accepting an invitation to be part of a bp means accepting some expenses as well
AngnShaun
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Jna2010
thats ridiculous i think accepting an invitation to be part of a bp means accepting some expenses as well
ITA.... they had to know that they would be contributing to the shower and needing dresses and whatnot!
Noelsgirl
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by grkbarbie
they should be ashamed of themselves.
even though my bp hasnt offered to cover any cost.. i know what im getting from them for my shower (yea..my MOH insisted on telling me what she got me.. but thats a story for another time lol! ) so they all were VERYYYYYYYYYYYY generous.
if i were you.... i wouldnt mention DOJ at alll. if they got u inexpensive stuff for your shower.. RETURN THE DOJ and dont get them ANYTHING!
Oh barb you are funny!
KerriJohnS
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahh!! I know EXACTLY how you feel!!
This is EXACTLY what everyone is talking about with the 'you find out who your real friedns are when planning a wedding'... and you sooo do!!!
I'm sooo sorry!! I know it stinks. Also, your MOH should try to not go to you to tell you things. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth. It makes it hard to enjoy things and all. I had VERY SIMILIAR things going on... if not the same things!!!
Are any of them married? Did they have a big wedding? A lot of people just don't know. But this sets the bar. Now you know what/who you should and shouldn't go out of your way for.
$200 is a good price and $150 for the dress is good too.
People just get cheap when it comes to other people. I'm sorry for this. Sooo sorry. I know how crushing it feels.
Soon2bShea
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Re: My BP needs to be FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Noelsgirl
Posted by grkbarbie
they should be ashamed of themselves.
even though my bp hasnt offered to cover any cost.. i know what im getting from them for my shower (yea..my MOH insisted on telling me what she got me.. but thats a story for another time lol! ) so they all were VERYYYYYYYYYYYY generous.
if i were you.... i wouldnt mention DOJ at alll. if they got u inexpensive stuff for your shower.. RETURN THE DOJ and dont get them ANYTHING!
Oh barb you are funny!
their DOJ is being custom made....i think i am going to need to make a phone call about that....i feel my budget for their DOJ shrinking
