My Bridal Shower Vent

So here is my mini vent. I asked my mom yesterday how planning on my shower is going and she says 'nothing has been done yet, you have to tell us what you want' So I said 'So you want me to plan my own shower?' She says 'No it has to be a surprise!'

What does that mean?!?!?!?!!?!? I have to plan all the party stuff but the 'surprise' is the date? I'm getting sooo frustrated.....I'm about to either say forget the whole thing or let me plan it myself.


Am I being ungrateful? or am I right in that they should be more motivated?

maybe she meant things like do you want it at a restaurant or at home, what type of restaurant, how many people, do you want a theme? You can give them ideas without actually planning it darlin!

ETA- I dont think it means they are unmotivated..you still have time and they prob want to know what kinds of things youd like!

Well, I planned practically my whole shower, but that's because I don't trust anyone else. I am one of those 'take charge' people. I can't sit back and do nothing. I gave my bridal party a whole Publisher file on all of my ideas and what I DON'T want. They are still planning it, but they have guidelines. I guess this is a little bridezilla, but oh well. They will deal!

On the other hand, I planned my SIL's shower all by myself. She gave me no insight or ideas and I was fine with it.

I think it would be nice to give your mom some input, so she knows what you will like. You dont have to plan the whole thing, but just give her a few ideas.

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Posted by dedecakes

Well, I planned practically my whole shower, but that's because I don't trust anyone else. I am one of those 'take charge' people. I can't sit back and do nothing. I gave my bridal party a whole Publisher file on all of my ideas and what I DON'T want. They are still planning it, but they have guidelines. I guess this is a little bridezilla, but oh well. They will deal!

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We are personality twins!!!! lol This is totally what will happen if I get involved, and I didn't want to be overbearing b/c I know how my 'selfish only child syndrome' is, when it kicks in.

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

maybe she meant things like do you want it at a restaurant or at home, what type of restaurant, how many people, do you want a theme? You can give them ideas without actually planning it darlin!

ETA- I dont think it means they are unmotivated..you still have time and they prob want to know what kinds of things youd like!

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Thank you, this made me feel a lot better and a lot more calm

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Posted by kbond06

I had a smiliar situation, being that I'm an only child, and being one of the first 'friends' to get married, so my mom and MOH's are in the dark a little. I gave my mom 3 places I like, and told my MOH to look up bridal showers lol, they've got it under control now (I hope), maybe they just need a small amount of guidance, or...for you to plan it lol

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Thats how it is w/ my family too...I'm an only child, and the only girl so far in my family to get married and my family is like totally on another planet than I am about wedding planning. Like I mentioned I won cry packs at TWOTY and my aunt was like 'What? Thats ridiculous, you don't need that'

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Posted by AugustBridein09

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

maybe she meant things like do you want it at a restaurant or at home, what type of restaurant, how many people, do you want a theme? You can give them ideas without actually planning it darlin!

ETA- I dont think it means they are unmotivated..you still have time and they prob want to know what kinds of things youd like!

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Thank you, this made me feel a lot better and a lot more calm

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Dont worry...it will be wonderful. Id give ideas but wouldnt give spreadsheets but thats jmo. Just some ideas to work from so that you get what you want but don't seem 'bridezilla'ish ya know?

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Posted by AugustBridein09

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Posted by kbond06

I had a smiliar situation, being that I'm an only child, and being one of the first 'friends' to get married, so my mom and MOH's are in the dark a little. I gave my mom 3 places I like, and told my MOH to look up bridal showers lol, they've got it under control now (I hope), maybe they just need a small amount of guidance, or...for you to plan it lol

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Thats how it is w/ my family too...I'm an only child, and the only girl so far in my family to get married and my family is like totally on another planet than I am about wedding planning. Like I mentioned I won cry packs at TWOTY and my aunt was like 'What? Thats ridiculous, you don't need that'

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I know it's hard when they haven't been to a wedding in a while....I made my aisle runner and my mom and dad were like, wait-you're going to walk down that for like 3 seconds...
Listen, it IS neccessary to me and my pics, OKAY? seesh!

but they do have bridal shower planning books etc...I told my MOH to google planning if shes confused lol

truthfully, you're not getting married until august, so there is still plenty of time for your family to plan your shower... also, i think this also may be your mother's way of throwing you off the scent... i think you may be jumping the gun and getting upset over nothing! this sounds like something my mom would say to me!

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Posted by kbond06

but they do have bridal shower planning books

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I think as a joke I'm going to have to buy one of these for my mom. She'll think its funny.

do it lol! I was going to but my mom recently has been looking at magazines instead

FYI my mom only booked my shower last WEEK hhaha for sometime (I think) in April- I know for sure, 200% it's not May

Nope, they should be more motivated.

I literally planned my own shower. I sent my MOH a detailed email with the theme, favor ideas etc. Even found 2 possible venues and emailed her the contact info. That was last week. I follow up today and ask her if she heard anything back and she goes ' Oh I haven't called yet' ***?!

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Posted by kbond06

do it lol! I was going to but my mom recently has been looking at magazines instead

FYI my mom only booked my shower last WEEK hhaha for sometime (I think) in April- I know for sure, 200% it's not May

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Yeah that gives me hope, my shower needs to be in either March or April ...May & June I'm swamped with rehearsals and there are no weekends available and I didn't want July b/c it may be too close to the wedding.

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Posted by VeggieBride

what exactly do they really need from you? Its not rocket science

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I know

I tried to give a bunch of suggestions for my shower until my mom told me stop trying to control everything and let her and my sister do it.......a few months later my mom was calling me for my list of venues and asking me to come help her pick out my shower invitations. SIGH!


Same thing is sort of happening with my bachelorette now. My younger sister/MOH is telling me she's not familiar enough with these things and needs help. Sigh again