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My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

Original post by BJandDan

Can you believe anyone would be so selfish? I told him (through my tears) that if he didn't come, then he wouldn't hear from me ever again. Dan doesn't even know about it yet. He's at class right now. He said that he doesn't like Dan cause he hurt me years ago (5years ago we broke up and I moved out cause things were going no where and he bought a motorcycle instead of a diamond ring, so yeah, I was hurt, but FIVE FREAKING YEARS AGO!!!!!!!!!!) I got over it, he apparently thinks he is doing a good thing by acting like the big brother, meanwhile he has no idea how devastated I am. He said he doesn't want to stand there and be a phony cause he doesn't like him. I can't believe it. I went to my house and told my parents that if he isn't there then he is dead to me. My mom said that I have four other siblings and so many other people will be there to share in my day, but he is my oldest brother, I have always had everyone there. I always had four brothers and one sister and now I feel like the world has pitched and I just lost my brother. I can't believe he is so f ucking selfish. I drove up to Dan's just to get away, but I can't sleep, I just want to pass out and forget about life right now. My mother thought I was going to commit suicide on the way up here. I told her that my brother isn'tquite worth it to me. Now all I want to do is live until I'm a hundred and fifty with Dan just to prove him wrong and show him what an a sshole he is.

pebbles78 Posted:

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

I'm sorry this has happened to you....your brother is being way too selfish...may be he thinks he's looking out for you, but you decide your life not him....hopefully he'll be mature enough to sit down and talk with you about it.
DandS Posted:

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream



I hope things work out and your brother realizes how important it is for him to be at your wedding!
hmpena Posted:

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

Many to you BJ. It really will be your brother's loss if he doesn't come. He's the one who has to live with his decision. My younger sister dropped out of my wedding the morning of. At that point, I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to get married to the man of my dreams. In the end, you will be marrying the love of your life.

CLMon7906 Posted:

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

I have no great advice either, but I have cut off a relative before....my cousin. I've even been in her house and spoken to her husband (who I met after I cut her out of my life) and not spoken to her. I haven't spoken to her in over 5 years. She didn't even make the invite list. Her parents and sister did, but not her.



speak to your brother and explain to him that as your brother he should be there to support YOU. he doesn't have to support Dan....but he can show his support for his sister's happiness, even if that happens to create happiness for Dan.
BJandDan Posted:

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

Thank you all so much ladies! I honestly don't know what to do about it. I am going to see tonight after my class if my parents said anything to him. I also have to decide on whether to go to his daughters communion this Saturday. I am scheduled to go in for my first fitting, but I just got asked to possibly work. At this point, I might just take the offer to work and reschedule my fitting because I'd do anything at this point not to have to see him. I feel bad for missing my nieces communion, but I think my wedding that he might possible miss is a bit more important.

nicpizzo Posted:

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream



I am so sorry, but from what you noted about him having issues with your mom, his own wife, etc. that you can't let this ruin everything for you b/c it sounds like this is just him. I know it ***** and I couldn't imagine my brother not being at my wedding, and hopefully it will turn around, but just remember that whoever is at your wedding is there b/c they love and care about you.

So, please don't let this ruin it for you, or even possibly ruin your relationship with your brother. It's easier said then done, and sure you have every right to be mad, but killing him off won't change anything. Also it sounds like family is important to you and killing him off won't make you happy or feel any better either.

I wish you the best of luck and just take a deep breath.

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