My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

Original post by BJandDan

May 01, 2006 09:26 PM

Can you believe anyone would be so selfish? I told him (through my tears) that if he didn't come, then he wouldn't hear from me ever again. Dan doesn't even know about it yet. He's at class right now. He said that he doesn't like Dan cause he hurt me years ago (5years ago we broke up and I moved out cause things were going no where and he bought a motorcycle instead of a diamond ring, so yeah, I was hurt, but FIVE FREAKING YEARS AGO!!!!!!!!!!) I got over it, he apparently thinks he is doing a good thing by acting like the big brother, meanwhile he has no idea how devastated I am. He said he doesn't want to stand there and be a phony cause he doesn't like him. I can't believe it. I went to my house and told my parents that if he isn't there then he is dead to me. My mom said that I have four other siblings and so many other people will be there to share in my day, but he is my oldest brother, I have always had everyone there. I always had four brothers and one sister and now I feel like the world has pitched and I just lost my brother. I can't believe he is so f ucking selfish. I drove up to Dan's just to get away, but I can't sleep, I just want to pass out and forget about life right now. My mother thought I was going to commit suicide on the way up here. I told her that my brother isn'tquite worth it to me. Now all I want to do is live until I'm a hundred and fifty with Dan just to prove him wrong and show him what an a sshole he is.

Goldi1021 Posted: May 01, 2006 10:41 PM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

I have met Dan (twice) and I think he is wonderful. People deserve a chance to redeem themselves and it is obvious that Dan has. Your brother is obviously not able or willing to see or accept your happiness. Heed your mother's advice and enjoy your day. You will be surrounded by people who love you. The day is about you and Dan and NOT him!

evnme Posted: May 01, 2006 10:43 PM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

dbleplay17 Posted: May 01, 2006 11:53 PM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

waterspout4 Posted: May 02, 2006 12:19 AM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

It's your brother's loss. There's a reason why you and Dan went through what you did years ago. You both grew up. Obviously your brother did not. Again, his loss.

BKtoLI Posted: May 02, 2006 01:42 AM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

I am so sorry you are going through this, it's really sad that weddings bring out the best and worst in people.

Dan is a wonderful guy, and if he can't see that then he doesn't deserve to see you two get married anyway!!!

BJandDan Posted: May 02, 2006 05:45 AM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

You guys are always the best! Thank you all for the support and hugs and allowing me my vent time.

I can only hope that my brother sees how immature he is being and steps up to the plate.

MrsH1156 Posted: May 02, 2006 05:47 AM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

I'm so sorry you're sad. Hopefully your brother will see how selfish he is being and realize he should be there to celebrate with YOU...his sister...since it is your day with your new husband.

SweetCin704 Posted: May 02, 2006 06:23 AM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

Bonnie-Jean, I'm sooo sorry you are going through this (especially so close to your wedding). I'm not sure what to say but please know that I'm here if you need to talk you can fm me (or I'll give you my cell).

Your brother has to realize people do change & Dan seems like such a great guy, he was younger then & perhaps in a different place & he's been nothing but wonderful to you since, your brother has to realize this.

Blu-ize Posted: May 02, 2006 08:54 AM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

This is very sad. Your brother needs to grow up and accept being an adult. He is being selfish and he will regret it.

You will have people around you who love you.

PS: I have a brother just like him.

VadersBride2006 Posted: May 02, 2006 08:57 AM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

I know how you are feeling sweetie, I am going through the same thing with my sister. She has disowned our entire family and is not coming to my wedding b/c it would be too 'traumatic' for her. Meanwhile, I dragged a newborn halfway across the country to be at her wedding...

It hurts, I know.... FM me if you need to vent some more....

Katie&Chris2006 Posted: May 02, 2006 10:07 AM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope that your brother grows up and gets his act together to come to your wedding. Maybe he and Dan can sit down together and talk about things?

cindyandkevin Posted: May 02, 2006 11:18 AM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

Omg Bonnie-Jean, I am so sorry to hear about this!! Maybe your brother will change his way of thinking, I really hope he does. Your mom is right, regardless of whether or not he is there you are going to have so many other people sharing in your special day who love you, don't let one sour grape spoil the bunch.

esb980 Posted: May 02, 2006 11:28 AM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

Aww, I'm so sorry. I know how hurtful it can bbe when a sibbling doesn't come through!! If he doesn't want to come, it's his loss. I wouldn't even talk to him about it anymore. Don't beg him, he should be begging you for forgivness!! If you need to talk, FM me!!

MrsD06 Posted: May 02, 2006 11:32 AM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

You know, I was talking with my MIL before the wedding and she was like 'since when are weddings about everyone else BUT the bride and groom'?!

to you

I defnitely will say that I hit a certain point before our wedding where I was decided I wouldn't let anyone stress me anymore. I'm not trying to minimize this at all...just don't let him ruin this time or your wedding for you.

LoveBug1124 Posted: May 02, 2006 11:34 AM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

Awwww i'm so sorry!! He'll come around, if he doesn't he is not the person you thought he was. It's your day! Once you guys are married what is he going to do never see you? He's being selfish and childish, don't let it ruin your day honey!!!

glinda_goodwitch Posted: May 02, 2006 11:36 AM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

Ohhhh, I am soo sorry that you have to go through all this. Deep down, your brother is trying to protect you, but he's not doing it in the right way. Maybe if Dan talked to him he would feel a little better?

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: May 02, 2006 11:58 AM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

Hopefully your mom can talk some sense into him. He is being very childish.

cole Posted: May 02, 2006 12:04 PM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

I hear you, my brother and sister in law are not coming to my wedding b/c I did not put there daughter in my wedding party! so they decided that they would not even come to my wedding b/c of that!

cole Posted: May 02, 2006 12:06 PM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

Its so sad that they dont realize that they are only hurting you by doing this. I hope your mom can talk to him and he will come to your wedding, but I know how you feel :(
Good luck

SuzBride Posted: May 02, 2006 12:15 PM

Re: My brother just told me he might not come to my wedding, very long, but I really need to vent and cry and scream

to you. That truly su-cks of your brother. If you can forgive Dan for whatever happened 5 years ago, then your brother should too and he should be there to support you on the biggest day of your life. I hope he comes around, and sees the error of his ways. Good luck.