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My cheap *** fiance...

CubanBride Posted: Oct 28, 2004 10:53 PM+

CubanBride MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4005 WEDDING DATE: Apr 22, 2005

Posted: Oct 28, 2004 10:53 PM

My cheap * fiance...**

He is not allowing me to get the invites calligraphed. It's only a $ each and we are only sending out 35. He thinks it's too much money.

He is still refusing to tip anyone at Leonard's because grastuity is included in the price.

lolita4life Posted: Oct 28, 2004 10:55 PM+

lolita4life MEMBER SINCE: 9/04 TOTAL POSTS : 5543 WEDDING DATE: Mar 01, 2005

Posted: Oct 28, 2004 10:55 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

if its only $35, what if you offer to pay for it?

Ronkonkomonga Posted: Oct 28, 2004 11:03 PM+

Ronkonkomonga MEMBER SINCE: 9/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2236 WEDDING DATE: Oct 16, 2005

Posted: Oct 28, 2004 11:03 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Whoa.... Back up the train for a minute...

What is that 'allowing' BS... Didn't they take 'obey' out of the vows.

Jan05Bride Posted: Oct 28, 2004 11:04 PM+

Jan05Bride MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 7114 WEDDING DATE: Jan 07, 2005

Posted: Oct 28, 2004 11:04 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

I have paid for many a things out of pocket for the wedding because I wanted them. $35 is not a lot to even debate! Just do it on your own and not out of the wedding account.

marc_rai Posted: Oct 28, 2004 11:34 PM+

marc_rai MEMBER SINCE: 9/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2368 WEDDING DATE: Jul 03, 2005

Posted: Oct 28, 2004 11:34 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

I agree with FH about the tipping business. If it's only $35 you should pay for it if you really really want it, or convince him that it's worth it.

LovelyL Posted: Oct 28, 2004 11:37 PM+

LovelyL MEMBER SINCE: 1/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1620 WEDDING DATE: Jun 12, 2005

Posted: Oct 28, 2004 11:37 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

I agree that if you really want it, pay for it with your personal money. I have done this a couple of times. If I really want something, I know FH won't give me a hard time. Sometimes I've done it just because I didn't want to hear a comment at all or because I felt bad b/c the item was frivolous and only bride-related.

As for tipping at the hall, maybe he will change his mind after you have a great reception. At the end of a wonderful day, maybe he will feel more generous.

CubanBride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 07:24 AM+

CubanBride MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4005 WEDDING DATE: Apr 22, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 07:24 AM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

I can't go behind his back. I would feel bad. I don't really have any extra money to put toward this anyway. I still have to pay for the balance of my dress $348 and I don't know how I am gonna do that. It wasn't on my budget because my mother was supposed to pay for it. She's not now and so I have to spend money on that. And I have loads of bills I have t pay. So my money is tight. But like I said, I can't go behind his back. He would be very angry with me and I would feel like ****.

He was to put labels on the invites.

DMcK Posted: Oct 29, 2004 09:44 AM+

DMcK MEMBER SINCE: 4/04 TOTAL POSTS : 5034 WEDDING DATE: May 13, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 09:44 AM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

IMO, I agree that if you want it, pay for it yourself. We went overbudget on invites bc I feel in love with an expensive one so I am paying the difference from what we budgeted out of my personal checking account. You can do that and tell him so that it is not behind his back.

divabride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 09:54 AM+

divabride MEMBER SINCE: 12/03 TOTAL POSTS : 7008 WEDDING DATE: Oct 09, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 09:54 AM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Posted by CubanBride

I can't go behind his back. I would feel bad. I don't really have any extra money to put toward this anyway. I still have to pay for the balance of my dress $348 and I don't know how I am gonna do that. It wasn't on my budget because my mother was supposed to pay for it. She's not now and so I have to spend money on that. And I have loads of bills I have t pay. So my money is tight. But like I said, I can't go behind his back. He would be very angry with me and I would feel like ****.

He was to put labels on the invites.

If you dont have the money, then dont do it. It really isnt the end of the world. You really have to pick and choose your fights, and this one doesnt seem to be worth it. But please please.please dont use labels. I had planned on doing that until I read in an etiquette book that this is a very big no no. See if you know anyone that has reaaly nice hanwriting that can do it for you.

Ang&Rich Posted: Oct 29, 2004 09:57 AM+

Ang&Rich MEMBER SINCE: 10/03 TOTAL POSTS : 4093 WEDDING DATE: Sep 18, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 09:57 AM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Is there anyway to compromise - He wants labels and you want the calligraphy - so how about you just run the envelopes through the printer? (Make him do each one by one!)

Corduroy94 Posted: Oct 29, 2004 10:16 AM+

Corduroy94 MEMBER SINCE: 8/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1848 WEDDING DATE: Sep 04, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 10:16 AM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

I can't help but chuckle - this may be the most worthess sugestion but...

I work at NYU and there was a girl a while back who volunteered for all these 1/2 hr & 1hr experiments. Nothing invasive - just reading words on a computer or doing surveys. When she was done she had made just over $250 in a month. Someone asked her why she was racing to do all these studies and she said I need to pay for calligraphy on my wedding place cards.

In the end I think they'll look lovely either way!

CubanBride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 10:26 AM+

CubanBride MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4005 WEDDING DATE: Apr 22, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 10:26 AM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Yeah, I may have to do some fake calligrahpy on my computer. I am willing to do that. I just wish he wasn't such a cheapo.

MamanDaddyof2 Posted: Oct 29, 2004 10:33 AM+

MamanDaddyof2 MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1769 WEDDING DATE: Mar 18, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 10:33 AM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Just remember that you are a team so you have to agree not just do what he wants all the time because as soon as you start 'giving in' to him it just gets worse especiially when you have kids then its like pulling teeth when you want something

tourist Posted: Oct 29, 2004 10:36 AM+

tourist MEMBER SINCE: 12/03 TOTAL POSTS : 9094 WEDDING DATE: Oct 09, 2004

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 10:36 AM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

$35 isn't a lot. Is there something you can cut out & show him you saved exactly $35 for it ( like instead of buying lunch, put the money in an envelope every day till you have $35.)

Ladybug63 Posted: Oct 29, 2004 11:49 AM+

Ladybug63 MEMBER SINCE: 11/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1098 WEDDING DATE: Sep 23, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 11:49 AM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Honestly, being that it is $35.00 I would just go for it and tell him that I will pay for it myself.
On the other hand I know it's only $35.00 but this stuff adds up and $35 bucks is $35 buck I don’t have so, I would probably make him help me run them all through the printer. The really do come out nice. I don’t think they are cheep looking. People throw all that stuff out anyway.
Worst case scenario they get the invitations and think there cheep but once they see how amazing the actual wedding is they will forget all about the invites! No one will remember if they were hand written or not.

AJsMommy122 Posted: Oct 29, 2004 12:04 PM+

AJsMommy122 MEMBER SINCE: 12/03 TOTAL POSTS : 10711 WEDDING DATE: Feb 20, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 12:04 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

your invitations dont need to go out for months.. you can definitly save the $35 before then.

Something like this I wouldnt even ask my fiance probably lmao.. and if I did... he wouldnt believe me saying $35 and wedding in the same sentance!

CubanBride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 12:10 PM+

CubanBride MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4005 WEDDING DATE: Apr 22, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 12:10 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Well I just spoke to FH and I said would give in on the whole tipping issue, but that it was really important to me that the invitations look their best. He is getting a little softer on this issue.

Jan05Bride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 12:15 PM+

Jan05Bride MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 7114 WEDDING DATE: Jan 07, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 12:15 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Posted by CubanBride

Well I just spoke to FH and I said would give in on the whole tipping issue, but that it was really important to me that the invitations look their best. He is getting a little softer on this issue.

I'm sorry, am I understanding you right - You AREN'T going to tip the people who serve you at your wedding? That you back down on, people who work to make your day special, who work for tips as their living ...

CubanBride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 12:34 PM+

CubanBride MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4005 WEDDING DATE: Apr 22, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 12:34 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Posted by Jan05Bride

Posted by CubanBride

Well I just spoke to FH and I said would give in on the whole tipping issue, but that it was really important to me that the invitations look their best. He is getting a little softer on this issue.

I'm sorry, am I understanding you right - You AREN'T going to tip the people who serve you at your wedding? That you back down on, people who work to make your day special, who work for tips as their living ...

Yep, I mean, he's got a point with the 'gratuity included' thing. I mean, if it's included, why pay it again?

Jan05Bride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 12:39 PM+

Jan05Bride MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 7114 WEDDING DATE: Jan 07, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 12:39 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Posted by CubanBride

Posted by Jan05Bride

Posted by CubanBride

Well I just spoke to FH and I said would give in on the whole tipping issue, but that it was really important to me that the invitations look their best. He is getting a little softer on this issue.

I'm sorry, am I understanding you right - You AREN'T going to tip the people who serve you at your wedding? That you back down on, people who work to make your day special, who work for tips as their living ...

Yep, I mean, he's got a point with the 'gratuity included' thing. I mean, if it's included, why pay it again?

Did you speak to your Banquet Hall and did they explain how the gratuity is dispersed? I don't know how you could consciously not pay someone you know is working hard for your day. Why punish them because you didn't undertand the process in the first place?