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My cheap *** fiance...

Corduroy94 Posted: Oct 29, 2004 01:01 PM+

Corduroy94 MEMBER SINCE: 8/03 TOTAL POSTS : 1848 WEDDING DATE: Sep 04, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 01:01 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Posted by CubanBride

Well I just spoke to FH and I said would give in on the whole tipping issue, but that it was really important to me that the invitations look their best. He is getting a little softer on this issue.

That's great

ANA6178 Posted: Oct 29, 2004 01:44 PM+

ANA6178 MEMBER SINCE: 9/04 TOTAL POSTS : 307 WEDDING DATE: Sep 25, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 01:44 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Posted by CubanBride

Posted by Jan05Bride

Posted by CubanBride

Well I just spoke to FH and I said would give in on the whole tipping issue, but that it was really important to me that the invitations look their best. He is getting a little softer on this issue.

I'm sorry, am I understanding you right - You AREN'T going to tip the people who serve you at your wedding? That you back down on, people who work to make your day special, who work for tips as their living ...

Yep, I mean, he's got a point with the 'gratuity included' thing. I mean, if it's included, why pay it again?

UM, I think they need to explain it to you. It's not really a gratuity, it is a service charge. It covers everyon'e salary for the day, it's not a tip by any means. This is how they make their living.....

CubanBride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 03:39 PM+

CubanBride MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4005 WEDDING DATE: Apr 22, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 03:39 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

If they are calling it a gratuity and it's not really a gratuity, but a service charge, then they should call it a service charge, or simply, just include it in the per person price.

May152005 Posted: Oct 29, 2004 03:46 PM+

May152005 MEMBER SINCE: 3/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1170 WEDDING DATE: May 15, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 03:46 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

It's not really a big deal, just choose an nice calligraphy font & print the names on the envelopes, don't use labels, it'll come out great!

CubanBride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:00 PM+

CubanBride MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4005 WEDDING DATE: Apr 22, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:00 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Who do you tip at the hall anyway? There is no way you can tip everyone becausethere are so many people.

AJsMommy122 Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:05 PM+

AJsMommy122 MEMBER SINCE: 12/03 TOTAL POSTS : 10711 WEDDING DATE: Feb 20, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:05 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Posted by CubanBride

Who do you tip at the hall anyway? There is no way you can tip everyone becausethere are so many people.

I think you are supposed to tip your maiter d's and bridal attendants. I wouldnt really worry about the valet and bartenders since your guests will most likely be tipping them.

CubanBride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:09 PM+

CubanBride MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4005 WEDDING DATE: Apr 22, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:09 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Posted by Soon2bMsZ

Posted by CubanBride

Who do you tip at the hall anyway? There is no way you can tip everyone becausethere are so many people.

I think you are supposed to tip your maiter d's and bridal attendants. I wouldnt really worry about the valet and bartenders since your guests will most likely be tipping them.

Oh, that's all. Woooh. That eases my mind.

OK, I will let FH decide iff he wants to tip the Maitre D, but if my attendants are good, I will tip them.

Jan05Bride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:12 PM+

Jan05Bride MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 7114 WEDDING DATE: Jan 07, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:12 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Posted by CubanBride
Who do you tip at the hall anyway? There is no way you can tip everyone becausethere are so many people.

Because like a restaurant the people that serve you get tipped. Do you go to a restaurant and not tip the waitstaff? Do you order a drink at the bar and not tip the bartender? It is the resaurant industry standard.

Should they receive a $5,000 tip if they don't do good work ... NO ... but if they perform a duty and the service is excellent a tip (no matter how little) should be given as it is part of their salary.

I worked as a waitress years ago. I made $2 per hour and the rest on tips. Some days I walked away with a ton of money ... some days when it was slow I was lucky to walk out with $20 after a 10-hour shift.

Their salary depends on their tips and in my opinion should not be punished because your hall for whatever reason didn't make it clear. The people that serve you didn't do anything to you. The only people you hurt by refusing to give a tip are the people that will wait hand and foot on you and your guests for the entire day. Not the owners of your hall, and not your banquet manager ... and don't think those people will make it up to the staff either. The staff would have worked for peanuts for your wedding, tough luck to them I guess, right?

Jan05Bride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:13 PM+

Jan05Bride MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 7114 WEDDING DATE: Jan 07, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:13 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Posted by CubanBride

Posted by Soon2bMsZ

Posted by CubanBride

Who do you tip at the hall anyway? There is no way you can tip everyone becausethere are so many people.

I think you are supposed to tip your maiter d's and bridal attendants. I wouldnt really worry about the valet and bartenders since your guests will most likely be tipping them.

Oh, that's all. Woooh. That eases my mind.

OK, I will let FH decide iff he wants to tip the Maitre D, but if my attendants are good, I will tip them.

The maitre D disperses the tips to the staff, sorry if that wasn't clear before...

ANA6178 Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:17 PM+

ANA6178 MEMBER SINCE: 9/04 TOTAL POSTS : 307 WEDDING DATE: Sep 25, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:17 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

You tip the matre D, bridal attendant, flower delivery person....etc.....

IMO- Tipping is just the 'right' thing to do, this is how they make their living...

ANA6178 Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:19 PM+

ANA6178 MEMBER SINCE: 9/04 TOTAL POSTS : 307 WEDDING DATE: Sep 25, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:19 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

JAN05Bride-you are totally right!

Not tipping is disgraceul. I tip even when I get bad service.

CubanBride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:31 PM+

CubanBride MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4005 WEDDING DATE: Apr 22, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:31 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Well, I don't know. We will have to see how it works out. We did not budget tipping for the hal because accroding to our contract, gratuities were included. And assumed gratuities were the tip (which, technically they are).

So I don't know. I'll just worry about it later.

Jan05Bride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:36 PM+

Jan05Bride MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 7114 WEDDING DATE: Jan 07, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:36 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Posted by CubanBride

Well, I don't know. We will have to see how it works out. We did not budget tipping for the hal because accroding to our contract, gratuities were included. And assumed gratuities were the tip (which, technically they are).

So I don't know. I'll just worry about it later.

Cubanbride, Why don't you call your hall and ask them their policy. Each hall varies and you may very well be correct that the gratuity is the tip for everyone ... you really need to speak to your personal hall and find out the right information for you and then you can make an educated, level headed decision about your wedding. Good luck

nylibride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:42 PM+

nylibride MEMBER SINCE: 3/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1095 WEDDING DATE: Oct 16, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:42 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

I totally agree that the halls should make it clearer, but have to agree that if someone does a good job, they really do deserve to be tipped.
Also, I don't want my guests to worry about tipping the bartender during the wedding, they shouldn't have to pay $ at an event I invited them to, so you can consider whether to add a tip in for bartenders so your guests don't feel pressured to tip them.

I know this whole thing is a VERY expensive endeavor, we are all living it. I do think, though, you need to talk with your hall. The 'little people' in the 'food- chain' of workers are the ones who wind up getting screwed when people don't tip and they are the ones making the biggest impact and working the hardest on your big day.

Good luck.

CubanBride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:52 PM+

CubanBride MEMBER SINCE: 6/04 TOTAL POSTS : 4005 WEDDING DATE: Apr 22, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 04:52 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

What am I asking the hall. They are just gonna tell me the gratuity is included. I already know that.

EIDT: Wait, you are saying I should ask about the gratuity and how its dispursed. Is that information that hall freely give when asked?

marc_rai Posted: Oct 29, 2004 05:39 PM+

marc_rai MEMBER SINCE: 9/04 TOTAL POSTS : 2368 WEDDING DATE: Jul 03, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 05:39 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

I may be the outlier, but I believe that if something says gratuity then that is what it is. It's a gratuity=tip. I don't feel as if it's my responsibility to ask the banquet hall how the gratuity is going to be dispersed. If it's not going to be used to tip the servers, then it should not be called a gratuity. When I go to a restaurant in the US I know that my gratuity is a tip. Do I go ask the restaurant owner how the tip will be dispersed? No. I trust that my waitress (and hopefully, the busperson) will get it.

I agree with Cuban bride, that if I feel as if my bridal attendant is really good, then I will give her a little extra.

Oh in regards to the bartenders, if you are going to tip the waitstaff then you should tip everyone. Unless you are not having an open bar, then I think most guests wil assume that the bartender tip is covered.

Honestly, this whole tipping thing gets me confused. I don't agree with having to pay gratuity for services until they are received. That's why I'm going to wait to tip my photographer and videographer until after I see my proofs and see the video.

Jan05Bride Posted: Oct 29, 2004 05:59 PM+

Jan05Bride MEMBER SINCE: 9/03 TOTAL POSTS : 7114 WEDDING DATE: Jan 07, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 05:59 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

Posted by CubanBride

What am I asking the hall. They are just gonna tell me the gratuity is included. I already know that.

EIDT: Wait, you are saying I should ask about the gratuity and how its dispursed. Is that information that hall freely give when asked?

Oh yea ... and I guarantee you your hall will have no qualms about telling you what the recommended 'tip' is for the Maitre D, Bridal Attendant, Valets, and Bartenders too!

amyandeddie Posted: Oct 29, 2004 06:40 PM+

amyandeddie MEMBER SINCE: 5/04 TOTAL POSTS : 1567 WEDDING DATE: Aug 14, 2005

Posted: Oct 29, 2004 06:40 PM

Re: My cheap * fiance...**

This is exactly why I don't even ask him about certain things! LOL! My advice is to not ask in the first place. Eddie would rather I do that kind of stuff myself anyway! Especially a $35. decision.