Originally we were going to make an exception for my cousin Nick who's around 7 & mildly autistic. The kid seems ok most of the time but he does freak out. Now that my Aunt was diagnosed with Leukemia my dad is saying ' we HAVE to ALLOW him to COME because he doesn't want to upset my Aunt & Uncle. And I'm paying blah blah blah ' I think it's balls....and I disagree.
My FH is going to flip out when I tell him this new development. Now if we allow this 1 kid.... do we have to allow all kids ? DO we have to explain well he has special needs to people who ask why they couldn't bring their kids??
I'm soooo aggravated about the whole situation. I can't even tell u!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
grkbarbie
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Re: My dad is off his damn rocker
i dont think any1 has the right to ask anything. even at an adults only reception, u will find a few kids here and there. to me adults only means that there wont be a kids table or a group of children. i still would expectto see a few kids that are in the fam of thebride and groom.
FallBride2010
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Re: My dad is off his damn rocker
I dont think you have to explain yourself. I am having an adults only exception...but am inviting my 2 cousins and FHs 2 kids. That doesnt mean I am opening my wedding up to everyone else's kids...nor do I think anyone has the right to question my decision.
Under the current circumstances, I think you might want to consider inviting him.
SummerBride10
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Re: My dad is off his damn rocker
I can see you dad's point- its hard time for the family, and they want to spend as much time together as possible. Think of it this way- you're helpig them create happy memories together!
As far as everyone else- its your wedding. You decide who you make exceptions for and who you dont.
JillandJoe
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Re: My dad is off his damn rocker
its ur wedding and ur choice. We r having no one under 18...otherwise all our little cousins will question one as invited and not the other...between us its 16 cousins and 3 close friends kids who are like a nieces and nephews. So we had to say nope
Christine N Ralph
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Re: My dad is off his damn rocker
We had a similar problem...My cousins who are ages 10-7-2 will be there. THey are involved in the wedding. However there are some children from fh's side who are not invited. Sorry but this is my wedding and I dont want any other children there!
marrymybestfriend
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Re: My dad is off his damn rocker
our engagement party (which i understand isnt a wedding, but follow me....lol) ... we had no kids invited. however, there were 5 kids there. my 2 boys, FW's neice and twin nephews. they were all a part of the wedding party. the point i'm getting to is... a lot of people were saying 'wait, i thought there were no kids invited'... and got upset that they couldnt bring their kids. we had to explain that they were only there because of their part in the wedding.
so as much as people should understand that this is a special case.... you will always have people thinking that.
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: My dad is off his damn rocker
But let me get this straight....your pizzed because your dad wants to invite your 7 year old autistic cousin with his family because his mother was just diagnosed with cancer?
Really???? I am sorry to disagree but I think there are extenuating circumstances and you're being pretty unreasonable about him coming.
Chances are you won't even see/hear/notice him. A 7 year old is not going to ruin your day
Relish21
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Re: My dad is off his damn rocker
Here's more of it the kid threw a huge scene a Christmas so FH says ' hell no'
My view is that my aunt and uncle never give themselves any time to be alone without the kid. My Aunt babies him to the point of craziness! She doesn't let him just be a kid... we think they make a not so great situation worse with how they treat the kid. They need to realize that others actually CAN watch their child for a few hours.
rocketsummer17
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Re: My dad is off his damn rocker
I think that whatever you decide to do, the final decision is yours and FH, no one should question it. But I do have to say, I agree with your dad to a certain degreeon this one. Your Aunt was just diagnosed with Leukemia...I dont know what kind she was DX'ed with, but some leukemia's are fast acting and people dont last much longer than 6 weeks in some cases. It's a scary thing to be told and when the thought hits people that their life can end, they want to spend as much time possible with the people that they love. And who can blame them? Your father is probably looking at it in a way similar to this, its understandable. Regardless of how your cousin act's in some situations, its still family and it would probably make your aunt happy to know that you wanted her child (and the way you describe the relationship, it seems like she might not want to go without her son) there with them to celebrate on your special day.
kris_gets_hitched
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Re: My dad is off his damn rocker
Posted by FallBride2010
I dont think you have to explain yourself. I am having an adults only exception...but am inviting my 2 cousins and FHs 2 kids. That doesnt mean I am opening my wedding up to everyone else's kids...nor do I think anyone has the right to question my decision.
Under the current circumstances, I think you might want to consider inviting him.
I agree. It's the child of family members, not to mention an ill family member. It's not like it's the child of a random coworker.
I also have a cousin who is mildly autistic. Is there a chance that he'll have an outburst at the wedding? Sure there is. But I also know that he's unable to control all of his outbursts and it's not that he WANTS to act that way. I also trust that if that happens, my aunt and/or uncle will probably quietly excuse themselves and take him to another room and calm him down. Additionally, I'll probably get some things for all of the kids who will be there (we're inviting quite a few children) and will probably focus on a few things for him specifically geared towards his interests. Knowing his parents, they'll probably have some quiet toys for him too, but kids always love new things anyway. Maybe you'll want to do the same?
drivwal
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Re: My dad is off his damn rocker
its your wedding. you might have to come to terms with seeing some children there though because some people may not have anything to do with them while they are at the wedding. you prob won't see too many children though, especially when you've stressed its an adults only reception...i wouldn't worry about it too much
JAAMS
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Re: My dad is off his damn rocker
Posted by rocketsummer17
I think that whatever you decide to do, the final decision is yours and FH, no one should question it. But I do have to say, I agree with your dad to a certain degreeon this one. Your Aunt was just diagnosed with Leukemia...I dont know what kind she was DX'ed with, but some leukemia's are fast acting and people dont last much longer than 6 weeks in some cases. It's a scary thing to be told and when the thought hits people that their life can end, they want to spend as much time possible with the people that they love. And who can blame them? Your father is probably looking at it in a way similar to this, its understandable. Regardless of how your cousin act's in some situations, its still family and it would probably make your aunt happy to know that you wanted her child (and the way you describe the relationship, it seems like she might not want to go without her son) there with them to celebrate on your special day.
ITA I think this is an extreme circumstance. The child has a mild disability and the mother is ill. They probably want every moment that they can spend together.
BluAngel93
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Re: My dad is off his damn rocker
Honestly, it's your wedding and it's your choice. Me and my FH don't want kids at the wedding and it tends to fall under the 'if you make an exception for one person, other people get offended' category.
If you want an adults only wedding, i think people can deal with being away from their kids for ONE night without making a big deal about it...in my opinion, i would think most adults would rather go without their kids so that they can just relax and enjoy themselves rather than run around after them all night.
cavvento
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Re: My dad is off his damn rocker
It doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing. It's fine to invite one child, and the reason why is up to the bride and groom. No one has any business bothering you about it!
FM me if you want more info about a special needs kid at a wedding - I don't know how well you know him, but I work with that population.
I can see you dad's point- its hard time for the family, and they want to spend as much time together as possible. Think of it this way- you're helpig them create happy memories together!
As far as everyone else- its your wedding. You decide who you make exceptions for and who you dont.
