My dad made me feel guilty ....

Ok - as I mentioned before, my parents live in Queens, my FIL in the Hamptons and my MIL who is remarried, is in NC.

My dad invited us for Thanksgiving and I said I would love to but let me double check with Tom (bc I dont know what our Christmas plans are and we alternate holidays blah blah). He said OK let me know. Then he asked what we were doing for the weekend, and I said going to my FILs for a baby shower in the family. He said 'You see your In laws more than us and we live closer, you like them better' like 1/2 joking....My Parents always ask us to come over on the weekends and it is not a short trip - we are 1.5 hrs away now in NJ. We see them often though, every few weeks. The other times we are busy, have a new house, a social life....etc....

I told him 'Do not make me feel guilty - it's not right - I'm married now and have to alternate etc etc'

Why do parents do this!!!!!!!

Re: My dad made me feel guilty ....

I know how you feel. My mom called the other day and after chatting, she said I miss you...I haven't seen you in awhile. I told her she is welcome to come to NJ anytime. Life is busy....new house, we now have custody of my step-daughter full time, etc. I don't think she meant to make me feel guilty....but maybe she did. The Jewish mother's way of making me feel guilty.

Re: My dad made me feel guilty ....

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Posted by luvsun27



I know how you feel. My mom called the other day and after chatting, she said I miss you...I haven't seen you in awhile. I told her she is welcome to come to NJ anytime. Life is busy....new house, we now have custody of my step-daughter full time, etc. I don't think she meant to make me feel guilty....but maybe she did. The Jewish mother's way of making me feel guilty.

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Jewish, Irish, Italian, and every other nationality !! Just joking. Its amazing how mothers have the ability to make us feel any emotion.

I cannot lie to my mother to this day. Even a fib. LOL ! I would even tell my mother when I failed a test asap. But she was always good about me telling her anything so I guess thats why I always tell her everything.

Its hard being a grownup - I think for the Mom's too. Its being part of two families, her's and then your new one too. I guess it takes years to adjust.

Re: My dad made me feel guilty ....

They do this:

1) because they can.

2) because they have to share their little girl

3) their parents did it to them and now they are doing it to us- paybacks!


Sorry Jenn it sucks.

Re: My dad made me feel guilty ....

Just as marriage is an adjustment for newlyweds, it is also an adjustment for our parents. This is really the first time in their lives that they have had to compete with another family for attention.

Hang in there....it could be worse, my mother and in-laws don't even talk. They don't like each other.

Re: My dad made me feel guilty ....

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Posted by swags1016

They do this:

1) because they can.

2) because they have to share their little girl

3) their parents did it to them and now they are doing it to us- paybacks!


Sorry Jenn it sucks.

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Couldn't have said it better myself!! They do it, becuse they are parents!!

But don't worry, one day we'll all being doing it to our own children, whether we want to admit it now or not!!