My dad refuses to help now what ?????

2BrideDisneyWedding Posted: Jun 22, 2011 09:20 PM

My dad refuses to help now what ?????

So my father eight out refuses to help at all for my wedding. He is being a total **** about the whole gay marriage and how it's not even legal so what's the point ect.... My sister had a 50,000 wedding and he payed for it without batting an eyelash!!! But now that I am 28 an found my life partner he doesn't care. I hate that I even had to ask for his help, my father and I do not get along very well. However I am going for my second masters in teaching and working in a day care center.. Unfortenitly my fw is on workmens comp with a knee replacement that went bad :( I am so upset right now I don't know what we are going to do. Her mom is willing to give us some help but knowing everything we have to pay that goes beyond the rh is making me more ill... Any advice is grately appreciated. I don't think we are going to be having a wedding. On another note I don't want a backyard wedding! You only get married once and that is definitely not the wedding I want to tell my kids about! Also I want to have our wedding in the late spring earl summer of 2012 because I am hoping to get a real teaching job when I graduate out of new York hopefully in fl. I haven't slept in three nights over this :(

nicoleandsean Posted: Jun 22, 2011 09:35 PM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation...it's terrible that you're having to go through all of this. It's difficult to pay for a wedding on your own but it is possible. There are all inclusive places that are pretty reasonable, and maybe you could consider a longer engagement to give you some more time to save. You deserve the wedding of your dreams, the road to get there just may have to change a little. I wish you the best!!

FutureWifey Posted: Jun 22, 2011 09:37 PM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

Honestly.. your dad has the right to refuse and he'll later regret his decision... but that's besides the point. You may not want a backyard wedding, but if that's what you can afford, then that's what you can afford. I have undergraduate loans out and I'm going to school for my MBA. On top of that, my job doesn't pay well. Yet.. my FH and I are paying for the wedding. I'm actually paying for a chunk of it... and we both are paying for our own house. (And all our bills). Just plan it out and it'll come together. Granted, you want your wedding in the next year, but you may have to wait longer or makes adjustments to your wedding to make sure it fits into your budget.. JMO.. but good luck!

Im getting Married Posted: Jun 22, 2011 09:48 PM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

Dh & I had a 2+ year engagment because we were paying for the entire wedding. Maybe have a longer engagement or try gettign married off season.

You could also try to fill an open date for the same year. Lot of RHs will give you great deals instead of letting the room be empty

mara1017 Posted: Jun 22, 2011 09:50 PM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

I am sorry your father is no supporting your decision and lifestyle.

FH and i are paying for our wedding ourselves. We wanted toget married sooner but that was not possible since we needed more time to save money. So we are having an almost two year engagement. Maybe plan for 2013 instead of 2012.

2BrideDisneyWedding Posted: Jun 22, 2011 10:05 PM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

We have been engaged over 3 years already! I never saw myself where I am today at my age it's pathetic.

mara1017 Posted: Jun 22, 2011 10:11 PM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

If i were you I would rather have the wedding I want and wait alittle longer then settling and either having nothing or what you dont want. Unfortunatrl you can not make your family help pay for a wedding. My parents love my FH bu they just do not feel they arein the position to pay for the wedding and his parents are both no alive so there is no help there.

ndeokinanan Posted: Jun 22, 2011 10:16 PM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

Did you ever think of a destination wedding? Or maybe a brunch wedding? It does not seem like your getting a lot of support from anyone and I am so sorry for that

MarchBride2012 Posted: Jun 22, 2011 10:21 PM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

Hey. I am so sorry that you have to feel this way, without the support of your father. While I cannot relate to how u feel about him not supporting your choice of partner, I can relate to the stress of paying for a wedding entirely on your own. I will have an engagement of almost 4 years. I have been in school and finally graduated and started working full time. We've been paying off our wedding for three years already. My point is, it doesnt have to be platinum wedding. you need to remember why you are doing it and what it means to YOU. I have had to cut lots of costs here and there and even worked two jobs while going to school and interning. You can find ways to make it happen. You just might have to settle slightly and renegotiate your idea of a DREAM wedding. The dream is that you get to spend the rest of your life with an amazing person. not the 6 hours you pay 50k for.. hope this makes u feel better! good luck

2BrideDisneyWedding Posted: Jun 22, 2011 10:23 PM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

Posted by ndeokinanan

Did you ever think of a destination wedding? Or maybe a brunch wedding? It does not seem like your getting a lot of support from anyone and I am so sorry for that

My dad refuses to not allow me to pay him rent to even help!!! Really dad god I always disliked my father bit now I hate him!!! Not bc he won't help but bc of the horrible comments he said to me and about my life.

hriley629 Posted: Jun 22, 2011 11:25 PM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

Sorry your going through this that sucks! I think a destination wedding might be your best bet. They usually offer amazing deals and if you have enough people your room is usually free. Then all the people that truly love and support you both will be there and that's what you want in the end!

lindseynaggle Posted: Jun 23, 2011 03:33 AM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

I'm so sorry how unsupportive your Dad is being. Your relationship is just as important as anyones. I wish you could change his mind, but in the end you have to do what you want. I know its not the same, but there are a lot of girls on here who support you!

I have had to wait five long years to get the wedding I want. No it's not a platinum wedding, but it is my dream. Barring something crazy, like paying for the wedding with student loans, you will probably have to choose between compromising on the time frame or compromising on the budget. Which is less important to you?

chilly313 Posted: Jun 24, 2011 03:56 PM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

I just saw an ad for The Sands at Lido Beach - that they have a package for $11,000. I have no idea what it includes or what the place is like, but the pics on line look nice.

AwaitingAugust Posted: Jun 24, 2011 04:40 PM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

your dad is not obligated to pay for or help with your wedding. that said, it's definitely a crappy situation and i'm so sorry you're dealing with it

it's totally do-able to pay for your own wedding though - lots of girls here do it! Just set a budget and make sure you stick to it. Good luck!

MrsSx2 Posted: Jun 24, 2011 08:08 PM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

Posted by AwaitingAugust

your dad is not obligated to pay for or help with your wedding. that said, it's definitely a crappy situation and i'm so sorry you're dealing with it

it's totally do-able to pay for your own wedding though - lots of girls here do it! Just set a budget and make sure you stick to it. Good luck!

ITA, especially with the part that your dad's not obligated to do anything (it also may not help your situation if he knows how much you claim to dislike him).

mjm2012 Posted: Jun 25, 2011 06:21 AM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

is there any chance that since the your marriage is now legal (yay!) that he will change his mind?

Irishbride16 Posted: Jun 25, 2011 09:36 AM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

Im so sorry....he should support you know matter what and thats not fair to you at all....im sorry you are going though this and good luck to you

Ellynrose Posted: Jun 25, 2011 10:02 AM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

I'm sorry your dad is being so unreasonable, but his dispute about being legit is a nonissue anymore!

LMEL1223 Posted: Jun 25, 2011 10:08 AM

Re: My dad refuses to help now what ?????

It sucks that people think that way.

However, it must feel good to know that the law in NY allows everyone to have the same equal marriage rights now!