My dilemma, what would you do?

Not a frequent poster, but I find this to be the best place to come for wedding advice.

Personally, I’m not a fan of the traditional idea of a “wedding party”. FH and I are not big on the idea of a bunch of bridesmaids, groomsmen, jr. bridesmaids, etc…. My grandmother keeps telling me it’s my first wedding, I’m young, I need to have at least 3 bridesmaid. I’m so annoyed with hearing that from everyone. I’m also being told that if I don’t want bridesmaids use the kids as jr.. bridesmaids, etc… which I hate that idea even more than having regular bridesmaids. We have a best man, maid of honor, and my daughter is the flower girl. That is my dream wedding scenario.
So for the sake of compromise I’m trying to find roles for my little cousins. I was able a find a role that pleased me for all but 1.
2 ushers: (seat people then seat yourself)
1 pre-teen: read a poem (which was in my original wedding plans)
My 3 year old: cousin flower girl, she could walk with my 1 ½ year old
Then I have one 9 year old, she is too old to be a flower girl (a least for me she is)- I have no idea what to do with her

My motto is if I’m going to compromise and use the kids I have to use all or none.

Any suggestions on what to do with the 9 year old or just say forget about the kids?