My FMIL bought a dress for herself yesterday for our wedding. She showed me the dress and it is very nice and very tasteful (Thank God!!).
My only dilemma is that her dress is the same exact color as my dress.
When she found out that my dress is like champagne/light gold she was very excited and said that she wanted a gold dress. I tried telling her in a nice way that she should not MATCH me.
She didn't get the point and now she is wearing the same color dress as me.
Should I be upset over this? Because I am.
I was very nice when I saw the dress and said that it was pretty... but in my head I was wondering why she wanted so badly to wear the same color as me.
I have always had problems with her in the past and I was wondering if it was spiteful of her to do this....
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
Posted:
Member since
Re: My dress and FMIL dress Q's.....
I'd be a bit upset too... Everyone knows not to match the bride, so FMIL doing it is just a bit rude IMO...
You should just try to tell her how you feel or have FH or one of his fam members mention something and see what she says
AugustBridein09
Posted:
Member since
Re: My dress and FMIL dress Q's.....
I would be totally peeved at this! That is totally unacceptable. What does your FH say about this?
Deb-Rob
Posted:
Member since
Re: My dress and FMIL dress Q's.....
Wow...this is a tough one, cause my FH and I made a rule that who ever family it is they are responsible for taking care of any wedding related issues, however, that would be impossible for you since its your FH and he dosent know your dress.... if he does know about this, then have him take care of it...otherwise, I would politely as possible, talk to her about it. Tell her that you think her dress is beautiful, however, you would appreciate it if she would buy a different color! Good luck with that one!
MikesBride2B
Posted:
Member since
Re: My dress and FMIL dress Q's.....
I'd be really pissed off. I am wearing that color too and if my FMIL did this I'd very politely tell her off.
lolalovesacroat
Posted:
Member since
Re: My dress and FMIL dress Q's.....
I would be really annoyed at her!! It is very wrong and shows what type of person she is. What a witch!
jenn4214ever
Posted:
Member since
Re: My dress and FMIL dress Q's.....
Yea, I was really annoyed, but I didn't tell Fh that I was annoyed because she does something daily to piss me off and FH is sick of it and won't listen to me when I talk about her anymore.
Fh doesn't know the color of my dress so I really cant bring it up to him anyway.
FMIL is not the type of person that you can just tell off. She has zero regard for my feelings, I think that when she tries it on I shoul tell her it looks bad on her instead of telling her how I feel cause that will be the only way to get thru to her.
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: My dress and FMIL dress Q's.....
Posted by jenn4214ever
Yea, I was really annoyed, but I didn't tell Fh that I was annoyed because she does something daily to piss me off and FH is sick of it and won't listen to me when I talk about her anymore.
Fh doesn't know the color of my dress so I really cant bring it up to him anyway.
FMIL is not the type of person that you can just tell off. She has zero regard for my feelings, I think that when she tries it on I shoul tell her it looks bad on her instead of telling her how I feel cause that will be the only way to get thru to her.
what about having someone else tell her that she shouldn't wear it. Since your FH doesn't want to get involved, is there another family member that would do this? Maybe a cousin or sibling of his, or somebody else that knows what she is like and that you can talk to.
My MIL wore champagne but my situation was VERY different bc i am the one who convinced her to wear it. When she tried on the dress and they told her it was only available in that color she said forget it. It took a lot of convincing on my part to get her to even consider it. She felt weird about it but i told her that i was 100% fine with it and that i thought the dress was PERFECT for her and i'd be more upset if she didnt get it and had to go with a 2nd choice. We went shopping together so i was there for the process and I am the one who even picked it out when i saw it bc i thought it was perfect for her.
If i didnt want her to wear it and it was something discussed with me first then that would be different. You're obviously upset about this so i'd find a way to let her know that you are not comfortable with it.
meara
Posted:
Member since
Re: My dress and FMIL dress Q's.....
Is there anyone close to her that you could use as an intermediary. . like have them say. . that you are upset but didn't want to talk to FMIL b/c you didn't want to hurt her feeling or make a big deal out of it, but it is a big deal to you?
Is the dress a similar style too? Like is yours long and her's is short, different fabric? I know it doesn't help so much but if looks different you will still look sooooooo much more bridelike and amazing . also since you're not doing white, you never know if guests might show up in gold too..
while I TOTALLY get why you are upset and would be too. . remember no matter what you are the one who will look the best and everyone will know you are the bride and you will be the gorgeous hottie!!!
gina409
Posted:
Member since
Re: My dress and FMIL dress Q's.....
hmmm... this is a tough one..if it was me id be pissed...i think u have two choices..be honest n tell her how u feel(or have someone u know do it) or say nothing and deal with it....imo if u r upset bout it u should tell her...kinda strange she wanted to match
runnerbride1023
Posted:
Member since
Re: My dress and FMIL dress Q's.....
Posted by jenn4214ever
Yea, I was really annoyed, but I didn't tell Fh that I was annoyed because she does something daily to piss me off and FH is sick of it and won't listen to me when I talk about her anymore.
Fh doesn't know the color of my dress so I really cant bring it up to him anyway.
FMIL is not the type of person that you can just tell off. She has zero regard for my feelings, I think that when she tries it on I shoul tell her it looks bad on her instead of telling her how I feel cause that will be the only way to get thru to her.
If she has her heart set on a champagne/gold dress even if you tell her that this one looks bad, she will look at a different champagne colored dress. You should just be honest with her and ask her if she would wear a different color. Or try a family member you are close with and see if they will speak to her
jenn4214ever
Posted:
Member since
Re: My dress and FMIL dress Q's.....
I see what you ladies are saying. I was thinking about bringing it up to her, but I just didn't know how to.
Fh is and only child and there is no other family members that I can bring this up to that would talk to her for me. She is not married, and she only has her parents and they are almost 90 and I don't want them to think there is drama because they are innocet loving people.
I just gotts suck it up and bring it up since it's bothering me. It will turn into a fight I know it.
Also meara... your right, other guests might show up in Gold also....
Maybe I should just accept it... I AM the bride and hopefully I will shine!!
