My family isnt coming to the wedding (long)

Original post by Windy

Dec 13, 2009 08:10 PM

I'm not very close with my family. I had a crazy life growing up and well... everyone is just so dysfunctional. Still, my parents said that they were coming to the wedding. Then all of a sudden they changed their phone number (without telling me) and told my sister that they didnt want to come to the wedding because I probably talk bad about them! I've tried talking to my mother but she is pretty crazy and there is just no sense in anything they say!

Today was my sister's babyshower (only one of my brothers and me showed up from my family). I was talking to him about the wedding and he suddenly turned to me and said, 'why are you trying to force everyone to go to your party when no one wants to go'. He was reffering to my wedding.

My feelings are really hurt. I came home and cried till i had a headache. And while FH is supportive; he hugged and kissed me and said things like, 'well then i dont want them there anyway if they are going to upset you like this!' He doesnt understand how I feel because his family is great. Im so upset.

Clover23 Posted: Dec 13, 2009 10:01 PM

Re: My family isnt coming to the wedding (long)

MrsC2010 Posted: Dec 13, 2009 10:08 PM

Re: My family isnt coming to the wedding (long)

im so sorry as much as it hurts that they dont wanna be there...it might end up being for the best. that way you can enjoy your day and not have to worry about drama

es2189 Posted: Dec 13, 2009 10:16 PM

Re: My family isnt coming to the wedding (long)

i'm so sorry that you're dealing with this. i can't imagine how you must be feeling. although it is obviously not a replacement for your own family, keep reminding yourself that you are marrying into a wonderful family that will never treat you the way your family of origin treated you, and that you have people in your life who love you unconditionally. good luck with everything and i really hope you feel better.

KrisD72310 Posted: Dec 13, 2009 10:41 PM

Re: My family isnt coming to the wedding (long)

So sorry you're going through this. My BILs parents didn't go to his wedding and still doesn't talk to them. They even only met one of their grandchildren a few weeks ago for the first time when they ran into them at a store. It's a shame that parents act that way. I truly don't understand it. My father's parents actually did the same thing and didn't go to my parent's wedding. All I can say is I'm sorry and I hope that they realize what they're doing before they miss an amazing moment in their daughter's life.

little j Posted: Dec 13, 2009 11:22 PM

Re: My family isnt coming to the wedding (long)

im sorry its the worst when the people who 'should' be the most supportive are the most hurtful.

stay strong. i am happy that FH is there for you and you can talk to him about this.

you two are starting a new life TOGETHER>..only bring ppl in your circle that can ADD to it. keep the negativy energy away. even tho it hurts now, it will get better

im sorry you need to deal with his. FM if you ever wanna talk.

GR2010 Posted: Dec 13, 2009 11:27 PM

Re: My family isnt coming to the wedding (long)

I am so sorry they are doing this to you. There is still time before your wedding. Maybe they will change their minds.

AdriandSteve Posted: Dec 13, 2009 11:34 PM

Re: My family isnt coming to the wedding (long)

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Dec 13, 2009 11:36 PM

Re: My family isnt coming to the wedding (long)

KerriJohnS Posted: Dec 14, 2009 12:21 AM

Re: My family isnt coming to the wedding (long)

This breaks my heart!!!
I'm SOOOO terribly sorry that this is who you have to call family!!!

They aren't worth your tears. Personally I would cut all ties with these people. I'm sorry to say that. But these people don't show any sort of care towards you.

Also perhaps if your mother is worried that you talk bad about her... she should try to NOT do things that give you a reason to talk bad about her!!!! DISGUSTING!!!!

I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for your families bahaviors and the things they said.

Here are some hugs for you...

Not everyone has a great family.... I'm hoping you have some wonderful friends to make up for it. Those who care about you will be there for you on the day of. And those that aren't... no matter how hard it is.. they just don't matter. focus on you and your FH and your future together... and let these nasty people loose.

sorry if I sound harsh... I just felt awful when I read this post. It actually made me very angry!! not only that people can be like this... but that your own family can be this way.

Maybe they are jealous!!!

If you ever need to talk.. i know im a stranger and not even an 10er... but feel free to FM me!!

more hugs for you!!!

MisyMiss32 Posted: Dec 14, 2009 07:37 AM

Re: My family isnt coming to the wedding (long)

I am so sorry...Family sometimes can hurt us worse than anyone! Hugs to you Love!

jcreilly Posted: Dec 14, 2009 07:55 AM

Re: My family isnt coming to the wedding (long)

Im sorry

StaceyWill Posted: Dec 14, 2009 08:19 AM

Re: My family isnt coming to the wedding (long)

Awwwww. I’m sooooo sorry. I can def relate to this. Most of FH’s family isn’t coming to the wedding. His father lives in PR and his mother, brother, sister and grandmother aren’t close with FH at all. At first, I tried to get him to invite them anyway, just out of respect (even tho’ he keeps telling me they won’t come), but now I keep telling him not to worry and that I’m his family now.

Hope you feel better!!!!

GiannisWifey Posted: Dec 14, 2009 08:59 AM

Re: My family isnt coming to the wedding (long)

I am so so sorry to hear that!

Iluvpoodles Posted: Dec 14, 2009 09:11 AM

Re: My family isnt coming to the wedding (long)

I can sort of relate, though my family will be at my wedding. You can't have their disfunctions control your life though. But once you become an adult, you can break free from the crazyness. Surround yourself with FH's family then, if they are normal, and if you're parents come around good, if not well you can't do anything about it.

Michy2009 Posted: Dec 14, 2009 09:48 AM

Re: My family isnt coming to the wedding (long)

First of all, I am sorry that your 'family' is being so hurtful. That is terrible. Maybe you should consider leaving it the way it is and not insisting that they come. They may ruin your day...and you deserve to have the most amazing wedding day ever! Take this opportunity to surround yourself that day with people that truly love you..even if they are friends and not blood relatives. I have learned in life that sometimes our friends are more 'our family' than our own flesh and blood. In a perfect world we would all have wonderful supportive families...but the truth is we dont. You dont deserve to have these negative influences there on your special day..tell them to stay home if that is how you feel. I hope it all works out well for you...good luck!