My first unhappy Post

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I myself have been realizing that I might be going through the same thing you are in a few months. I'm going to be paying for my BM's dresses but when I think about the other expenses they're going to have...I start to get concerned b/c some of them are known for complaining about money

I really hope it all works out for you.

Im sorry you are going thru this, she shouldnt complain to you about her tight budget...especially when it includes your wedding.

Sorry about this I think you're right, she should have thought about the expenses before she agreed to be in the BP. I have had some of my BM's complain about $$$ but I simply tell them it will all be returned to them when it's their turn. I actually said this to one of my BM's (I was really nice about it) She didn't complain about $$ after that. Good Luck

I am finding the same thing. I'm always the one to do whatever everyone wants and now that it's my turn, I'm hearing some groans about $. I say, continue with your plans and whoever would like to join you, can. Or, adjust your plans and know in the future how to handle yourself when it's their turn. I'm sorry

i hate being like this, but just remember when its time for their wedding, if theres something u can't afford don't stress about it.

Roxanne sorry your going through this
One of my BM's gave my sister a hard time before the shower saying that money was tight and she had too much to pay for, I too have been in several BP and never once compplained, even when I had two weddings three weeks apart!

I come to realize that my BM just wants to spend money on herself, and not for the wedding itself. She always has a new bag, shoes, cloths, haircuts and still complains that the dress is a bit much. Sometimes girls don't get it until it's there day, and then all of a sudden it's OK to have a spa day or the $200 BM dress. I keep telling myself that one day she will understand when it's her turn and as sad as it is. . .I will give back what she did for me.

You don't need the stress in your life right now worrying about your BM who complains all the time. I have learned to just let it go and when it's there turn, just do whatever she did for yours. HTH

I am so sorry. I completely agree with you. People must understand that being in a bridal party is going to cost them money. If they can not afford it or do not want to be in it, then they do not have to say yes.

I am having a similar problem. One BM gave me her measurements and told me to get her the smallest size possible even if it means she has to lose an inch in an area because she wants to minimize the amount that alterations cost. NOTE: Getting dresses taken out costs way more.

She was being inconsiderate and insensitive...We all have BM like this...

Sorry girlie

Don't say sorry for venting. She should not have accepted the positiong if it was going to be an issue. How can she say these things to you? And make you feel bad? Geez wiz!!!! Some people!!!
It's more than okay that she does not want the spa treatment but complaining everything she is doing for your wedding when she is a BM!!

Geeeeeez!!

She really shouldn't have complained to you. If she knew she couldn't afford to be in the wedding, she should have declined your offer. If a tough financial situation has come up, maybe she should pull herself out of the wedding. There is no reason for her to be mean to you.

aww that stinks

i can understand her decision not to get a spa treatment, but to mention all those other expenses is just plain rude.

It's true that being a bridesmaid is expensive, but its rude to tell you that to your face. You know that being a bridesmaid is expensive. You've been one before.

All that could come of her telling you that is to make you feel bad which is an awful thing to do!!

YOu absolutely right to feel that way

i am so sorry you are going through that.. but i def feel your pain.. part of me feel so bad b/c i know being in a wedding party is so expensvie and i know i have been on the other side and complained as well.. but here is my theory... u have done it before for other peoples weddings and when u accept to be in a wedding party.. u know the cost that is involved!!! so to those BM complaining.. suck it up.. its only money in the end and just enjoy have fun!!! and now its your turn to be the bride. so too freaking bad!!!!

yea... I am sure I will be hearing this when my times comes around....

it's cool..... maybe one day they will get married and then it WILL be your turn to complain

IMO... when u sign up to be in a BP... it means expenses- SIMPLE!!

Awwww I am sorry you are going through this ~ I totally think she should have not told you here tightness and complain to you about all the wedding expenses... That should be understood when taking on the position of a BM... I have been MOH & a BM quite a few times & there were times after I said yes that I realistically probably should have said no & not once did I complain or discuss but I did work aliltte harder to make it work! (and I would never tell the bride...) I am sorrrrry sweetie! I am sure she will make it work out!

I was listening to a radio station this am and they were talking about Starbucks and how expensive the coffee is one of the DJ's was saying a friend of his 'complains' he can't afford to have medical insurance but this same person buys 2 or more starbucks coffee's A DAY! so that is over $10.00 a day so that is at least $300.00 a month.....

good luck & try to not let it make you sad!

When she agreed to be in your bridal party, she might not have realized that not only was there the dress and alterations and hair and shoes and shower and shower present and wedding present and bachelorette party, but there was also required SPA treatments. Are you kidding me? Spa treaments are expensive. She didn't say she's bowing out of your bachelorette weekend, she's just trying to conserve a little money that obviously seemed, to her, to be an extra. And you can't understand that? You can't go off for your massage or facial and allow your bridesmaids a lilttle free time away? No, she probably should not have complained to you about all the expenses, but you said yourself that you got 'a little upset' with her. How upset? So she told you the truth. Being a bride doesn't mean that you get to be cocooned in tulle for a year or more. Give the poor girls a break. Doesn't it say something to you that eight out of twelve are skipping the spa? I'm familiar with spa treatments, but I looked it up anyway--almost everything is more than $100 at the spa, the only cheaper options are manicures and things along those lines, which are at least $40 or so more than they'd be home on Long Island.

Planning a wedding is stressful. You need your friends. Don't alienate them at this point. Yes, being a bridesmaid is a financial responsibility. But the bride can make it an easy one, or a heavy one. Remember that these are your friends, and have a good time.