My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

If I were you I would just call you MIL and tell her exactly what you were thinking and feeling because if you don't do this now then time will only go on and things will be more uncomfortable for you. Tell her how you just didn't know what to call her and that is the only reason why you were acting like that. If this keeps brewing it could get worse. Once you've dealt with that tell your DH that you don't want to go to bed angry and how you guys should work things out before doing that and I'm sure he will agree. As for your friend...talk to her and tell her that it was just a family only thing and that your sorry she was offended, but you didn't even realize that something like that would upset her. You don't need these little stressful things right now ...your a newlywed and should be enjoying this time. I hate how sometimes people don't understand that it's still an emotional time for any new bride!! I don't think people really think or understand what it's like.

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

Hmm...that's a tough one...

Maybe you should talk to you MIL about it being weird. It might be kind of an awkward conversation, but it will help her understand that you still love her, it just takes some getting used to. Tell DH to get over it-you will deal with it. Easier said than done but that's the best I can come up with. I'm sorry you're having a hard time

Good luck with everything!

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

it is a tough one.... i could understand how you feel and I think it will come in time before you start calling her mom, which is okay.... it seems she definitely picked up on that and is being a bit over sensitive (but she is a mom so I understand her point also).. talk to her I am sure she will understand and it just might be an icebreaker for you to start calling her mom without feeling funny

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

I certainly would talk to her directly. I too have FMIL who gets dramatic sometimes and it always is best when we speak. Therefore you can explain. Does your DH call your parents mom and dad? Cause if he doesn't then how can he think it's easy for you to call his mom mom....I know that I could never call another woman mom or another man dad b/c I already have 1 of each....I call my FMIL by her first name. And i think that's totally appropriate to do so.....if you want to call her mom, but it just takes time...then you totally have to call and explain...you both will feel better if you do.

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

ooppsss because I'm a spaz, I responded to the other post. sorry NW's.

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

Honestly, I would talk to her and tell her that you don't feel comfortable calling her mom. Be honest with her and just tell her it will take you time and even that your not sure if you'll be able to do it. Go visit her or take her out to lunch and explain the situation. Don't let it go un-answered or un-resolved. it will just create tension between the both of you.

I know I can't call my FMIL mom, because in my mind my mother is the only person I've ever called Mom. Maybe if I was younger I colud adjust but at 32 and 33 when the wedding is going to happen I just can't do it.

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

i love my fmil and i think we have a pretty close relationship but im not to keen on calling her 'mom' after the wedding either....i feel like Mom isnt a word you just throw around like that - i feel like calling someone else by that name takes away from my 'real' Mom.....i dont know, i just feel like my Mom would feel bad if she heard me calling someone else 'Mom' especially when we are all together - i dont think my Mom called her MIL mom (i only remember her calling my grandma 'grandma').....im going to be in the same sticky situation because my fmil can be sensitive and i think it will hurt her feelings if i dont call her Mom - especially since her daughters husband (my fbil) calls her Mom with no problem at all. i mean i guess its just a word and its easier to just call her mom so i dont have to worry about it - but i just feel like it takes something away from my mom.....i cant picture FH calling my mother Mom either - i dont know - we dont do things like that in my family - but my FHs family is different and i have a feeling it will be expected that i call his parents Mom & Dad - especially since they already sign their cards to me as 'Mom and Dad'

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

awww nic you're so cute

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

i replied on the NW board...

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

Just explain to her that you didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but that the transition is a little awkward for you. You were just married for what a day or so? They could cut you a little slack too. If you continued to act weird then that would be different. I think you said before you have a nice relationship with her, right? So didn't anyone give you the benefit of doubt this is not your usual behavior and you didn't mean to come across as rude? Did anyone else notice or was she just being ultra-sensitive? You sound like a sincere girl, so I'm sure if you talk to her you will be able to clear things up.

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

i called my mom before and asked her how long it took her to call my dads parents mom and dad - and she said awhile - and she said that in the meantime it was neutral - she said not to worry about it, that theyre stressign me out....


also some extra background :
i started dating my DH last april and his mom lives in Poland - she was here last April where I met her once, and then once we got engaged and DH moved in she came in the end of OCtober and lived with us for 15 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!she left in January and then came back 2 weeks before the wedding and lived with us. Now she moved out and is living about 10 minutes away.
So its not like she was here the entire time and that it was a normal relationship/situation type of thing.

But its all good, i GUess I will call her but say what
Good Morning Mrs. L?

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

i guessssssss WELCOME TO THE MARRIED LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

Re: My first vent as a Newlywed (kinda long but need advice)

dont worry - call her, apologize, tell her you love her and it will be fine....

if it was me, i might say that i felt a little silly calling her mom and its not because i dont love her or because she did anything wrong - just i wasnt sure when was the 'right' time to say it for the first time - and then id tell her that id call her whatever she likes, and that i was sorry i hurt her feelings....

it will be fine....dont stress!