my first Vent--FSIL -- support, please

I had been worried about her coming with us for bridesmaid dress shopping b/c she's very self-conscious about her figure and she tends to be nervous and negative.

so she starts in with the rapid-fire questioning: do you want us to be in a straight skirt, a-line, full, satin, chiffon, sleeves, no sleeves, i'm really nervous about strapless, i dont' think you want to see me in strapless, what color do you want? I would really love to have this color, what do you think, how do you want us to wear our hair, (she then interrogates each of myother bm's about how they will wear their hair), do you want us to have flowers in our hair, headpieces...? (in my head, i'm like, headpieces on bms...what the?)

seriously without taking a breath in between all of her questions.

I asked her to just relax and try to enjoy the process. we have 6 mos to figure out the details. let's just all pick out some dresses and try them on. you can't decide on all these criteria ahead of time. my only request was a chiffon like material b/c my gown has organza overlay and wouldn't look as nice with satin bm dresses.

ok, but do you want us to have dye to match shoes..., what kind of tuxedo do you want Terry in, I like this and that......

I told her that Terry wanted to be in charge of picking out the tuxedos and I trust his judgment.

She just keeps harping on me, yes, but what do you like? bow tie, long tie, ascot, color, white, black, grey? just tell me b/c I have influence over him.

Now, I'm really holding back. I want to tell her to just shut the F up b/c she's stressing me out.

THEN she actually ROLLS Her eyes at me and lets out an exasperated sigh, and says, 'Geez, just make a decision already!'

Like I'm going to let her pressure me into making a split second decision about these things when there is no rush to figure out every detail that day.

I just laughed it off, but I needed to get it out because it's been festering inside me since then.

I know this was long, so if you made it this far, thanks so much for listening and helping me blow off steam!

ETA: I would love to hear your comments! I need the support, please! TIA

That must've been annoying for you and other BMs. That is supposed to be a fun and relaxed experience. I would try taking her aside and talking to her about what's going on, what she wants and what you want. Maybe she just wants to be involved more???
I would honestly be annoyed thats why I just have my sister as my MOH and thats IT. She's the best and I have zero drama.

wow she sounds like a bridesmaidzilla!

if she does this to you again, just tell her nicely that you are doing one thing at a time (you are only human) and when you get to that decision you will let her know.

Wow, she sounds like a nightmare. I hate when people ask a million questions, if I was in your place I definitely would have snapped at her.

How many BMs do you have? Maybe just go with your mom and your MOH to pick out possible dresses and then bring the rest of the girls to choose between the the final five.

Good luck.

I would tell her you are not making a decision about sleeves, colors, fabric etc until some of the girls try on a lot of dresses. Tell her you were not planning on being a bridezilla and picking a dress and telling everyone they have to wear it whether they like it or not, but if she would prefer to skip shopping and just be told what everyone else liked and have no choice in the matter you would be happy to accomodate her.

As for the tuxes - stick to your guns - if it's up to FH, then that should be the end of the discussion.

As for shoes - you can't decide that until you have dresses.

Tell her to relax she's making you nervous!!

Thanks so much to everyone for their fabulous replies!

I was cracking up over the bridesmaidzilla comment! hahhahaaaa!!

And yeah, it's like she's trying to get me to act the role of bridezilla. I was pretty calm and laid back about everything. having been a bridesmaid before and been yelled at by a stressed out bride making crazy demands, i want to be extra conscious not to do that to anyone.

Great advice about telling her that I'm just planning to take one thing at a time and I'll let her know as I go along.

I just want to have fun with this and don't want to let her add stress to the experience!

She probly does want to be 'involved' more but she has control issues, so I kind of don't like asking her opinion, b/c we have very different taste and she gets annoyed in the process, so I've been avoiding it for the most part and just not getting things started.

Yes, I will stick to my guns!

p.s. I have 4 other bms and they have all been totally gracious.

thanks again. I do feel better!