My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

R&J0806 Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:13 AM

My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

...and I wasn't planning on doing that. How do I tell her?

The thing is, we've got several mutual friends who will be invited with guests, but those people are in serious relationships vs. her, who is not. My rationale was that she'd have other people to hang with but on the other hand, everyone else will have somebody with them.

What would you do?

greenfreak Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:16 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

If it was me, I wouldn't say anything. She may be in a relationship by the time the wedding comes around and she may feel alienated if she's not invited with a guest. Especially when it comes time for slow dances and such. The only 'singles' in invited were two aunts who lost their husbands and I had to be convinced to do that even; I wanted to invite them with guests anyway even if I knew they wouldn't be bringing anyone.

GrkItalWedding Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:16 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

I am in the same situation with a few of my friends and a few of FH's friends. We are going to give them the option to bring a guest since we don't want them to feel ackward (particularly when there is slow dancing and they would potentially be the only person at their table sitting). They are good friends to us, so we don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable. Who knows.....they may decide on their own not to bring anyone.

MayBride06 Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:18 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

i think all adult guests should be invited with a guest if you can afford it. This is likely why she assumed to be invited with a guest. JMHO.

PrincessRose Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:18 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

I explained to people that we were having a rough time with the guest list and that we couldn't afford to invite everyone with guest. If they pressed further (which they rarely did) I explained that those who WERE invited with a guest were invited with a SPECIFIC person that DH and I knew on a personal level.

It shouldn't be too much of an issue after that.

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:19 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

I would let them bring the guest. IMO, I don't see how anyone can judge what a serious relationship is. I always use the example that at one of best friend's weddings, I had only been dating FH for 2 months. I knew at that point we had something special, and I considered it serious. Would most people consider a 2 month relationship serious? Probably not. If my friend had told me I couldn't bring him I would have been very hurt.

BlueTulip Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:21 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

If you can't fit it in your budget, better to let her know now rather than later.

IMO- I would be a little uncomfortable going to a wedding where all my friends are couples and I wasn't invited with a date. Having a date would make me feel more comfortable. I'm not a big fan of inviting someone without a guest, unless they are really young. However, I know a lot of people do this so it wouldn't be crazy.

SeptBride70 Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:22 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

Posted by MayBride06

i think all adult guests should be invited with a guest if you can afford it. This is likely why she assumed to be invited with a guest. JMHO.

i agree

Tria1110 Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:25 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

I have to be honest. I would be totally offended by the fact that you would invite as good a friend with their significant other and not me with a guest. I don't quite understand the rationale of 'well, they are in a serious relationship.'

You would be putting her in a position of feeling uncomfortable since she is not only not in a serious relationship but also without a guest.

JMHO

nov06 Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:26 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

Posted by MayBride06

i think all adult guests should be invited with a guest if you can afford it. This is likely why she assumed to be invited with a guest. JMHO.

i agree

Me too!

ali120206 Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:31 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

Is she the only one in the group being invited without a guest?

If this is something you need to do, I would sit down and explain your situation to her. I have found that a lot of people get offended when they open an invitation and it is not addressed 'and guest' when they were not informed of this before hand (some are even offended when they are informed of it).

When I was invited 'with guest' in the past and didn't have a guest to bring, I usually went alone (except when I wasn't sure how many people I would know and that one time, I ended up wishing I went alone).

If she's been seeing someone for a month or so, they could be together 6 months and extremely serious by the time your wedding comes around. That happened with my FH and I. We dated for a long time on and off and then once we became serious he had a number of weddings to go to that I wasn't invited to. I get to hear about them all the time now and get asked why my FH didn't bring me (even by the bride).

R&J0806 Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:31 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

wait...let me clarify. This girl that I'm talking about does not have a boyfriend of any sort. So do I still invite her with guest? She's not the only one in that boat so by doing so, we're tacking on a good number of people to our list.

Who DO you invite without a guest?

Tria1110 Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:33 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

Posted by robynlevy

wait...let me clarify. This girl that I'm talking about does not have a boyfriend of any sort. So do I still invite her with guest? She's not the only one in that boat so by doing so, we're tacking on a good number of people to our list.

Who DO you invite without a guest?

Nobody.

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:34 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

I invited everyone who was single and over 18 with a guest. it's the right thing to do, JMHO.

EJSD2006 Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:38 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

i invited a few of my single friends with NO 'and guest' on their invite because they are single or are not in serious relationships. but if they RSVP with a guest I wont freak...what's one more person?

mrsh2b Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:46 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

Posted by nov06

Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

Posted by MayBride06

i think all adult guests should be invited with a guest if you can afford it. This is likely why she assumed to be invited with a guest. JMHO.

i agree

Me too!

Me 3! Especially if say your over 25 and most of your friends are going to be paired up. If you have a lot of singles, then maybe you can get away with it.

ShortBride Posted: Apr 14, 2006 10:52 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

Especially if say your over 25 and most of your friends are going to be paired up. If you have a lot of singles, then maybe you can get away with it.

I totally agree. If she was one of a huge bunch going by themselves, I would say that its fine. Does she know the other single guests? B/c if all of her particular friends at the wedding are with guests and she is alone, it might still be really hard for her, even if there are others that she does not know who did not bring a guest.

CLMon7906 Posted: Apr 14, 2006 11:00 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

We had a similar issue...two of FH's friends outright asked if they could bring a date even though they were invited singly.....apparently one guy (he and FH are good friends, but they don't always attend the same functions so they've missed on sharing this...) has been dating a girl for about 6 months now and felt she should come, which is fine, we just didn't know about her....well, with everyone settling down, moving in and getting engaged, another one of FH's friends tells us that (FINALLY) he is serious with A girl (emphasis on one!!) and would like to bring her. They've only really been together I'd say 2 months now, but by the wedding, it will be longer.

Let her bring a guest as long as it's not an issue....like, will 1 person put you over the limit and crush you? Doubtful....cousin so-and-so from texas is sure to say no and she would've brought her 5 kids, so most likely this won't matter. (I hope I don't sound mean, cause I'm not trying to be)

Goldi1021 Posted: Apr 14, 2006 11:06 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

The people we invited with guests were invited wih specific people. The only ONE person we did not invite with a specific guest was invited with a guest because he knew absolutely NOBODY else. Our single guests didn't stay home because they weren't invited with a date. This is why they are friends. It wasn't about them, it was about us and they wanted to share in our happiness. They asked no questions and made no comments.

October Bliss Posted: Apr 14, 2006 11:08 AM

Re: My friend assumed she's invited with guest...

Posted by Tria1110

Posted by robynlevy

wait...let me clarify. This girl that I'm talking about does not have a boyfriend of any sort. So do I still invite her with guest? She's not the only one in that boat so by doing so, we're tacking on a good number of people to our list.

Who DO you invite without a guest?

Nobody.

I have to disagree with this. My cousin showed up at my sister's wedding with a 'professional' woman. There is no way in h*** I am inviting him with a guest.