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I have to disagree with this. My cousin showed up at my sister's wedding with a 'professional' woman. There is no way in h*** I am inviting him with a guest.
Posted by Goldi1021
The people we invited with guests were invited wih specific people. The only ONE person we did not invite with a specific guest was invited with a guest because he knew absolutely NOBODY else. Our single guests didn't stay home because they weren't invited with a date. This is why they are friends. It wasn't about them, it was about us and they wanted to share in our happiness. They asked no questions and made no comments.
the real bottom line is this, tonight (or next weekend...it is good friday...) she could go and meet a really great guy and in 4 months, when your wedding arrives, already be dreaming up their wedding in her head and be engaged within a year. i think it's OK to not outright invite a guest, but if she seems to think she can bring one, then let her. it won't hurt anything. maybe she does have someone that has been a real casual 'friend' and is thinking it will get more involved....sometimes our close friends surprise us (see earlier post about FH's friend) with total commitment when we least expect it!
It can be a very touchy subject. I had been invited to one of my nieces Bat Mitzvah's 2 years ago without a date. I asked my brother if I could bring someone I was just dating for 2 months and he wanted to know if this guy was going to be around for a while or if he was 'just some guy.' I said I think he will be around and guess what happened? I married him in February. This can and does happen all the time, but I still think it is presumptuous to expect to be asked with a date. If my brother had said no, I would have said 'Oh well,' taken a few pictures and shown them to my then boyfriend when I got home.
Posted by STBMrsDaniRella
Posted by MayBride06
i think all adult guests should be invited with a guest if you can afford it. This is likely why she assumed to be invited with a guest. JMHO.
i agree
Posted by aliwnec10
I will admit that my FH and i have done away with politeness when it comes to our wedding. We are not doing a lot of traditions that most do... walking around to the tables to say thanks, etc.
That being said... we have already told our friends that if they don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend at the time of the wedding, than they're flying solo.
We just can't afford for this to be a free-for all so to speak. We don't have the money to spend like that and its a small wedding. Our friends were totally understanding about it and didn't mind at all (and trust me, they would tell us if they did mind).
I say do what you want and if money is an issue, just explain that to your friend. If she's your friend, than she'll completely understand (remember that).
Every adult person should have the option of bringing a guest. This is what FH and I did. It isn't nice to invite a person without a guest for many of the reasons others have already mentioned (want them to feel comfortable, don't want them to feel like the 'only' single person at the table, or the only one without a SO). It may turn out that they choose NOT to bring a guest, which was the case with many of my single friends. But the choice should be theirs.
Posted by LaurenluvsTJ
Posted by aliwnec10
I will admit that my FH and i have done away with politeness when it comes to our wedding. We are not doing a lot of traditions that most do... walking around to the tables to say thanks, etc.
That being said... we have already told our friends that if they don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend at the time of the wedding, than they're flying solo.
We just can't afford for this to be a free-for all so to speak. We don't have the money to spend like that and its a small wedding. Our friends were totally understanding about it and didn't mind at all (and trust me, they would tell us if they did mind).
I say do what you want and if money is an issue, just explain that to your friend. If she's your friend, than she'll completely understand (remember that).
why aren't you walking around to thank your guests for coming?
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by LaurenluvsTJ
Posted by aliwnec10
I will admit that my FH and i have done away with politeness when it comes to our wedding. We are not doing a lot of traditions that most do... walking around to the tables to say thanks, etc.
That being said... we have already told our friends that if they don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend at the time of the wedding, than they're flying solo.
We just can't afford for this to be a free-for all so to speak. We don't have the money to spend like that and its a small wedding. Our friends were totally understanding about it and didn't mind at all (and trust me, they would tell us if they did mind).
I say do what you want and if money is an issue, just explain that to your friend. If she's your friend, than she'll completely understand (remember that).
why aren't you walking around to thank your guests for coming?
Because we plan on going to our cocktail hour and we can thank everyone then. But i'm certainly not going to walk around for an hour and a half doing that. I'm paying for my wedding and i plan on enjoying it.
You should invite her with a guest. It would be different if all your friends were invited without guests, but if she's the only one, let her bring someone. Who's she going to dance slow songs with?
Posted by MrsWmson2be
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by LaurenluvsTJ
Posted by aliwnec10
I will admit that my FH and i have done away with politeness when it comes to our wedding. We are not doing a lot of traditions that most do... walking around to the tables to say thanks, etc.
That being said... we have already told our friends that if they don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend at the time of the wedding, than they're flying solo.
We just can't afford for this to be a free-for all so to speak. We don't have the money to spend like that and its a small wedding. Our friends were totally understanding about it and didn't mind at all (and trust me, they would tell us if they did mind).
I say do what you want and if money is an issue, just explain that to your friend. If she's your friend, than she'll completely understand (remember that).
why aren't you walking around to thank your guests for coming?
Because we plan on going to our cocktail hour and we can thank everyone then. But i'm certainly not going to walk around for an hour and a half doing that. I'm paying for my wedding and i plan on enjoying it.
I don't blame you. We're paying for ours too but unfortunately, FH and I will be taking pics most of our CH because we aren't seeing one another before the ceremony. I hate walking around engaging in idle chit chat. It's just not me. But I plan on keeping my 'visits' short so that we can motivate guests to dance by dancing ourselves!
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by LaurenluvsTJ
Posted by aliwnec10
I will admit that my FH and i have done away with politeness when it comes to our wedding. We are not doing a lot of traditions that most do... walking around to the tables to say thanks, etc.
That being said... we have already told our friends that if they don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend at the time of the wedding, than they're flying solo.
We just can't afford for this to be a free-for all so to speak. We don't have the money to spend like that and its a small wedding. Our friends were totally understanding about it and didn't mind at all (and trust me, they would tell us if they did mind).
I say do what you want and if money is an issue, just explain that to your friend. If she's your friend, than she'll completely understand (remember that).
why aren't you walking around to thank your guests for coming?
Because we plan on going to our cocktail hour and we can thank everyone then. But i'm certainly not going to walk around for an hour and a half doing that. I'm paying for my wedding and i plan on enjoying it.
Posted by STBMrsDaniRella
Posted by MayBride06
i think all adult guests should be invited with a guest if you can afford it. This is likely why she assumed to be invited with a guest. JMHO.
i agree
Posted by clarity
I disagree with most of these posts. I can't afford to invite everyone with a guest, so I'm not. If you can afford it, then do it.
If not, then you have to draw the line. I'd rather not invite someone with guest and then scrounge up $150 for all the extra guests that I really can't afford.
I agree with the girls who said that people who care about you should come even if they are single.
I am inviting one friend though who doesnt know anyone else at the wedding, so she will be invited with guest because i dont want her to feel alone.
If this person is absolutely not seeing anyone, and wants to bring a casual date, AND knows other people at the wedding, just explain that you are inviting people singly because you cannot afford to have everyone come with guest.
the key factors (to me) are whether she knows other people at your wedding, and if she's actually dating someone now.
Posted by krispyc
I'm not inviting everyone with a guest either. I can't afford it. One extra person might not mean anything but when there's alot, it's going to add up. If you are dating someone (serious or not) you'll be invited with a guest, and obviously if you're married or engaged. I had one of my BMs ask me NOT to invite single people with guests because she doesn't have a bf right now, isn't looking for one, and just wants to enjoy herself at my wedding without feeling the pressure to bring someone with her.
Similarly, I also don't want to walk around the tables at the reception to thank people. I will make sure I say thank you at some other point during the day to everyone, whether it be the receiving line, cocktail hour, during dinner, even when I see them out on the dance floor -- whatever the case. I just want to have fun and enjoy the party (along with our guests) being that FH and I are paying for the reception ourselves.
