I didnt want to post under my name so i dont embaress anyone. But a good friend of mine justtold me she was gay. I was totally shocked! I feel like I didnt say the right thing when she told me and i think shes upset.... any suggestions???
JimmysBride
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Re: My friend just told me she was gay...
Posted by RedHead
I would call her back and tell her that she will always be the friend that she has been! And no matter what you will be there for her just the same
I agree. And just be supportive.
frosty
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Re: My friend just told me she was gay...
I had this happen to me with a male friend. He didn't tell me, but his wife (now ex-wife) did.
Anyway, I would just let her know that you were thrown offguard by what she said because it was unexpected. Tell her that you value her friendship and you still love and care about her.
Good luck!
tourist
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Re: My friend just told me she was gay...
The last person that told me, told me over email & even though that gave me time to think before I responded I still said, ' that's good to know--we were worried about you being single for so long!' (He had a secret boyfriend we knew as a 'friend' for over a year at the time he came out.)
That probably wasn't the right thing to say either, but I think I threw in a 'you know we ( me & DH ) love you ' ( It was DH's best freind form HS, he kinda introduced me & DH) & we hope to get to know Boyfriend better.
He knew we had other gay friends, but I think he was a little worried we would be mad that he kept a secret from us for so long, especially after having met secret boyfriend under the pretense he was a friend.
lilmrs
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Re: My friend just told me she was gay...
About a month before my wedding my best friend told me his was gay, I was floored because:
1. He was a minster and going to marry us the next month.
2. He was married and had been with his wife since he was 13 (he was in his thirties)
3. he had 4 (yes FOUR) children.
4. He was one of my best friends, I thought I knew everything about him.
He told me when we were at a bar and I was very drunk. I did not respond in the best way. Just know that I was able to go back and be supportive and are frienship was not ruined. You can do this, just reassure your friend that you love them for being them!
AnonymousQuestion
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Re: My friend just told me she was gay...
I called her back to talk to her , she seems ok. she said she was nervous telling me becasue she is close with my kids and she doesnt want that to change, because she has a cousin who has kids and is homophobic. i feel very bad!
julz33
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Re: My friend just told me she was gay...
One of my good friends came out about 3 years ago. She was soo nervous telling everyone. That was so long ago and today is is still a good friend, still the same person. Her girlfriend hang out with us all the time and she has become one of my friends also. I am just glad they are both happy. They have been together for about 3 years now. Just tell your firned you were shocked to hear it, since she has been with guys and all... but in the end you accept her for who she is and nothing will change between the 2 of you.
marymoon
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Re: My friend just told me she was gay...
I agree with everyone else. It's good that you called her back. Just let her know that you really accept her and things won't change. Also think about what if anything you will tell your kids since she's close with them, and if it'll change how you feel about her spending time with them (I din't think it should...but I can;t tell you how to feel). I've had many friends and acquaintences come out to me, and once or twice it was a shock. It's best to take it in stride and really just let your firned know you support her. She put a lot on the line by telling you.
Also, I want to say you're being a really good friend and showing a lot of strength and support by trying to find out the best thing to do to be good to your friend.
