My friend just told me she was gay...

AnonymousQuestion Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:15 PM

My friend just told me she was gay...

Hi there,

I didnt want to post under my name so i dont embaress anyone. But a good friend of mine justtold me she was gay. I was totally shocked! I feel like I didnt say the right thing when she told me and i think shes upset.... any suggestions???

lolita4life Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:16 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

what did you say to her?

AnonymousQuestion Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:17 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

I said 'are you serious'... and then i kinda laughed it off and i think she was being serious, not wanting me to laugh, obviously

BriBri529 Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:18 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

I don't know what you said, but maybe call her and let her know that you were not expecting it, and that you thing you might have offended her in some way. Apologize and let her know how accepting you are of her no matter what her sexual orientation is . . .

Janice Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:19 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

I have no idea, my sister is 2 years younger than me and she came to my 21st b-day party. We were drunk and she told me in front of 3 of my friends and DH, I fell off the barstool and hit my head on the window ledge. I cried and I was in shock. I made her promise me that she was lying. Then my head was bleeding bad, so I guess if you did not do all that, then you were very supportive.

lolita4life Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:20 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

did she tell you over the phone or in person?

you really had no idea of this?

are you upset by it? or does it not matter?

if it doesnt matter you need to let her know you are there for her. she did a very brave thign by coming out to you. it takes alot of courage. she probably has beenwanting to tell you for some time.
try to be there for her.

AnonymousQuestion Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:21 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

wow I guess you didnt like what your sister said!

It doesnt bother me , I just dont have any friends that are, so it was a shock

HearzBellz Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:22 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

I would def. so what the previous posters recommended, but also I would make sure that she knows that you are there for her. Most likely she will have more people she will want to tell after you, and may need your support.

AnonymousQuestion Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:22 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

I really had no idea, its not like she looked it, and she had been with men before.

she was in person...

it doesnt bother me but i think i came off like it did.... maybe i should ask to meet her girlfriend or something...

Janice Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:23 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

Posted by AnonymousQuestion

wow I guess you didnt like what your sister said!

It doesnt bother me , I just dont have any friends that are, so it was a shock

I had no idea that she was gay, she had gone away to college, and so I invited her to my party. Now I am fine with it. What was really bad is that my mom and dad gave me the cold shoulder for getting so sloppy drunk and cracking my head open, I went along with it because my sister was no going to tell them yet.

Jax430 Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:24 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

As everyone already said, I would call her and let her know that you were suprised about what she said, so your reaction may not have been great, but that you accept and support her.

RedHead Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:24 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

well i don't think you can change what you said already

I would call her back and tell her that she will always be the friend that she has been!
And no matter what you will be there for her just the same

HearzBellz Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:24 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

Posted by AnonymousQuestion

I really had no idea, its not like she looked it, and she had been with men before.

she was in person...

it doesnt bother me but i think i came off like it did.... maybe i should ask to meet her girlfriend or something...

Maybe, but that might be weird. She may want to be sure that you are OK first before introducing the girlfriend.

lolita4life Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:26 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

just be there for her. act liek its no big deal.
it will probably make her unconfortable if you make a big deal out of it. whether youre cool with it or not.
just try to act like normal if you can.
but DO let her know you support her.

(also, since you dont know any gay people/friends... try not to say its her 'choice' or 'decision'... say somehting like , 'hey its who you are, no biggie. ' )

AnonymousQuestion Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:26 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

wow thank you everyone for your responses! I think maybe I will give her a call and talk to her about it. im sure shes a bit mad right now

lolita4life Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:27 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

good luck!

AnonymousQuestion Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:27 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

Good point, see I was going to say its your choice....

lolita4life Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:29 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

HearzBellz Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:33 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

Posted by AnonymousQuestion

wow thank you everyone for your responses! I think maybe I will give her a call and talk to her about it. im sure shes a bit mad right now

heidla Posted: Apr 18, 2005 03:38 PM

Re: My friend just told me she was gay...

I would call her and just talk to her like you would have before. I would also apologize for your initial response and just explain that you never knew she was going through so much. Remember, she is still the same person that you love.