My future mother in law is insane!

So my soon to be mother in law is crazy. She complains to my fiance that I'm not involving her in the planning as much as she would like ( I make choices and just fill ehr in later). Oh well sorry, you got married twice this is my turn. Not to mention she has horrible taste and said we didn't need a big wedding. I have a huge Italian family so tough sh*t I want them there!

The truth is everytime I do ask for his mom 's help or I need addresses from their family, etc. she waits till the last minute or past that to give us the information. It's like she likes control over the situation so she won't meet any of my deadlines, thank God I lie about most of those deadlines ya know?

So tell me again I need her help? I'm unemployed so I sit home and do nothing but get this wedding in order, I don't need much help with all of this time on my hands.

I'm getting married Oct 11th so they finally decide last week 'Hey maybe we should find a restaurant for the rehearsal dinner!' wow what a great idea! Haa nothing like waiting till less then a month before right? Well it finally got booked BUT she makes this big deal to us that she's ordering formal invites so everyone has to dress up, no jeans etc. I am dressing formal but I'm sorry I'm not the type to obligate my bridal party to dress up. . . she is having a fit.

The funny thing is we are less then a month away from this and she's supposedly sending out these invites??? She hasn't asked me for addresses and I would put money on the fact that she hasn't even bought them, nevertheless if they are as formal as she claims she needs to order them and I'm sorry but you are a little late.

Wait there's more. As previously discussed, her husband (who's paying for this dinner) told us to not invite our bridal party's dates and we agreed it wasn't necessary. We have 30 people invited already. I mention to his mom and sister that I let my friends in the bridal party know about this and the sister jumps down my throat saying well this is my family and I can do what I want. (She's only 17, her boyfriend has only been dating her one week & we live in Atlanta, GA and we are getting married on LI. where my family is) Are you kidding me??? She never even asked if he was allowed to attend the wedding (ask her parents) So now she's obligating them to pay for a flight, a hotel to stay in, food before and after the wedding & now I have to pay for his plate. Yeah it's your family and if they allow you to bring a date whatever, I referred to my friends and said that when I spoke so chill out, second, you spoiled brat don't ever jump down my throat again, I'm not starting my marriage hating his sister! According to our wedding rules we are only allowing dates if you are over 18 and she's 17 so she should shut up.

So bottom line this is what i came up with. Because I haven't 'involved' his control freak mother and sister in the planning of the wedding they are making sure that I don't have a say in anything that has to do with this rehearsal dinner because they are sooo f*ckin nuts they need something to control.

The truth is I could careless. It's a dinner! I'm more concerned with the actual rehearsal and making sure everyone attends, I would go to Taco Bell after I don't care. Obviously if I cared so much about this dinner I would make a big stink about what people wear. As if they are hurting me by basically telling me I have no say, haa annoying!!!

I would put money on the fact that if she IS actually going to send out this invites she puts formal attire on the bottom just to piss me off and override what I already told my friends. If I do see that I will personally tell my bridal party (minus his sister of course) that it was a misprint. Yes I'm a ***** but his mother controls all of them in that family and she will never control me. If I don't stand up for my self now instead of yessing her to death like them it will never stop with me and she will try her hardest to control me as well. Not going to happen!

PS My fiance is wearing jeans to the rehearsal dinner . He doesn't care what his mother says. . . with a nice shirt & shoes. He yesses her to death and does what he wants. So That's what I'm telling everyone else to wear as well. If she wants to dress up like it's New Years Eve then her, her husband (she'lll make him wear a suit & tie) and her spoiled brat of a daughter can be the only ones. The rest of us will be confortable. I mean c'mon it's not even that fancy of a place . . .

GET OVER YOURSELF MOMMY DEAREST!!!

ahhh I feel better now . . .

Honestly, at this point, I'd yes her to death...don't create added stress, sometimes you just gotta let it roll off your back

I'm confused by a lot of this.

I don't know... but I don't think i would start an all out war with her. Just say yes and let it all go. And as far as the daughet goes...17 year olds can be bratty. Let it all be and focus on more important things.

Also... I'm not wearing jeans to my rehearsal dinner. I think it all depends on where you are going for the dinner. It's not that big of a deal to wear a nice cute dress or some nice pants. Personally I do and I think a lot of girls look forward to picking out their rehearsal dresses. I don't think the jeans or no jeans is that big of a deal... and again it all depends on where you are going for the dinner. If you were going to taco bell then go for the jeans. If you are going to a nice restaurant... then maybe you might want to dress nicer. JMO. I wouldn't base it on what she says... but on the place itself.

I also wouldn't worry about when she plans things... if she is doing the RD then just be happy and let her go at her own pace.

I know a lot about control freaks!! ANd the truth is... you aren't going to teach them a lesson... they will just always be that way. So just focus on making yourself and your FH happy. Let her and her control issues be. I wouldn't get all caught up in this mess... because then you aren't any better than she is.

lol tell everyone its Luau themed!! lol that would be hysterical!!!

anyways i hear ya on all the drama with the MIL!! went thru enough crapola with mine for the rehearsal! all i wanted to do was send a simple invitation stating the addresses and times! because not everyone in the BP knew where the church was etc. she basically told me no, and that my BP should be responsible enought to know where and when to be there!

out of spite i really hoped that that day people called me lost...or came an hour late! i didnt care about the rehearsal at that point because i knew they would just figure it out the day of the wedding!! lol

dont worry everything will work out! oh and jeans and a nice shirt is totally fine for a rehearsal dinner!!!!

Honestly I just don't like having to obligate people in our bridal party to dress up for a dinner. it's at a nice restaurant, not fancy but nice so I told them that a nice shirt, jeans, no sneakers is fine. My FH refuses to wear a suit and tie so if he isn't why should the groomsmen?

I am wearing a dress because I am the bride. Nothing fancy just a cute dress.

I have been very cool about the planning, no stress and no complaining up until now. I almost feel like they are picking on me or trying to push that final button to make me lose it and look like a psycho and I'm not going to let that happen, hence venting on this and not family.

I just feel that our friends and family who are in our bridal party are obligated to enough expenses ( some including travel) for this and I don't want to overdo it just because she says so.

This is a woman who made her son (my fiance) wear a suit to someone else's grad ceremony in 95 degree weather outside when the rest of the family showed up in shorts. At a 50th bday weekend in a cabin she flipped because him and I wore jeans and nice shirts to the dinner because she wanted us dressed to the nines like she was. Her husband wore a suit, she wore a dress while the birthday boy (My FH's uncle) wore jeans. Her daughter left her dress at home and cried her eyes out because she was afraid to tell her mom that she forgot it. Little dramatic but she's in fear of her own mother yet she's just like her.

Month one of dating him, her and I were having a conversation about how we both aren't into surprises and always like ot know what's going on. I explained that I'm like that because I like being prepared. She told me she's like that so she can change the plans to do what she wants to do. Nice way to let your son's girlfriend know where you stand in the family.. . . .

I'm not trying to teach her a lesson but I'm not going to bow down to her like her husband and daughter do. My FH yesses her so she'll shut up. I say nothing and then tell him how I feel about it later, that's how I handle it.

If I knew her 2 years ago as well as I do now I would have never agreed to leave my family and move to GA near his parents. They are all we have here as far as family and I'm stuck with them.

I think you need to pick and choose and your battles .. especially with new family. Let her send out the invites.. you have time. Your bridal party knows there is going to be a rehersal so even if they get the invites a week before thats fine. And let her ask them to dress up. If they dont oh well.. not like shes going to kick them out. Besides I think everyone should dress a little nicer for the Rehersal dinner.

and the 17 yr old thing.. thats how they are.. I was a big b*tch at 17... most of us are. Just ignore that.

I get you Jenny. As far as the invites she really doesn't have the time to order formal ones like she wants, send them out and wait for responses and that's what she wants to do. I don't think it's hit his parents that we are less then a month away. We live in Georgia and everyone else lives in NY so by the time people actually get this invite, respond to this the way she thinks they should, we will all be in NY for the wedding and her precious responses will be in her mailbox in GA. Over 100 people didn't respond to the wedding, I hope she doesn't hold her breath on this one.

I'm actually laughing at this situation. She makes this huge deal about it but we have 25 days left and she hasn't even bought the invites. She only bought her dress for the wedding 2 weeks ago off the rack. It's her only son's wedding (trust me she has the money) and she buys a dress off the rack? Why is the dress code sooo important to her for the RD yet her dress for the wedding is no big deal. She even had the nerve to complain to my FH that the colors my mother and grandmother picked were the ones she wanted. They ordered their dresses in April. I told her ahead of time that they were going Easter weekend for dresses, if it was that important to have a better choice of color then don't wait till the last minute.

My FH said the same thing to her when she complained to him. I'm so proud of him.

Thanks ladies! Haa I had to get that one out . . . felt good haa.

You are all right. I'll worry about her psycho ways if they still linger after the wedding.

The best part of all of this is when I come to the RD in a nice dress and her son shows up in jeans and a nice shirt. His choice completely!

I get my silent giggle courtesy of my wonderful fiance and that's enough to satisfy me!

Could be worse I guess . . . . he could agree with her.