Hi Everyone. This is actually my first post, and boy do I need your help! I've been lurking on the boards for about a month now, and I know you will be able to help me figure out what to do. My MOH who is one of my best friends, told me via text message that she couldnt be in my wedding party because of $ and Stress issues. No phone call, a text message? Aside from being disapointed in her not being in my wedding party, I need to figure out how to handle who should take her spot. My party was originaly my MOH, 5BM's, my 9 year old daughter as my Jr. BM, and my soon to be step daughter as my FG. Now, I need to decide if I should just keep it as is, and not have a MOH or should I ask someone to step up? I considered asking my daughter, but then who gets the responsiblity of planning my shower and bach. party? What should I do???
MrsBtobe2009
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
I would ask one of your bms to step up. I would say your daughter if she wasn't so young. I think your MOH should have at least called you, but she may be embarrassed about the situation and doesnt know how to handle it.
SoonToBeMrsSchombs
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
I forgot to mention that 3 of the 5 remaining BM's are all my cousins and we are very close, but choosing one over the other might cause jealousy issues between them. The other 2 BM's are from out of town.
awgg822
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
I think it'd be really nice to ask your daughter. Then all the girls can help plan your parties together. All of my sisters are planning mine, even though only one is my MOH. Good luck with your decision.
BAL5-9-05
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
Posted by SoonToBeMrsSchombs
I forgot to mention that 3 of the 5 remaining BM's are all my cousins and we are very close, but choosing one over the other might cause jealousy issues between them. The other 2 BM's are from out of town.
I'd skip the MOH...can they get it together as a 'group effort' for the parties? Can a close relative maybe guide them to keep it rolling?
MyLobster
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
Posted by SoonToBeMrsSchombs
I forgot to mention that 3 of the 5 remaining BM's are all my cousins and we are very close, but choosing one over the other might cause jealousy issues between them. The other 2 BM's are from out of town.
oh wow....I'm so sorry! You know...some people are ridiculous! If she was your MOH, you are obviously close enough to talk about private issues in your lives...that was so inconsiderate to TEXT that she can't do it. No excuse!
As for what you should do...I understand your BMs are cousins and may cause problems if you choose one over the others.
What if you discussed it with them and asked if they would mind planning the shower/bach party together and not having a MOH. Noone really NEEDS one and you can have your daughter be named MOH but the other girls can do the work. Noone should object to that. Good luck!
MrsH09
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
I've seen alot of daughters regardless of age stand in as a MOH. I think it's great..this way you won't offend any of your friends/family. Then tell them you couldn't imagine choosing just one that's why you asked your daughter to step up. So just bring up the fact that she obviously can't plan your bridal party and see what they say.
About your MOH she probably felt horrible. Not really the way to do it in my opinion, but you guys will make it through.
MrsS4
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
Posted by MrsBtobe2009
I would ask one of your bms to step up. I would say your daughter if she wasn't so young. I think your MOH should have at least called you, but she may be embarrassed about the situation and doesnt know how to handle it.
agreed 100% & welcomee
SoonToBeMrsSchombs
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
Thanks ladies. I know my MOH feels bad, but she should have at least dialed the phone instead of typing a text. I'm not only disapointed in her, but I'm almost offended that she didnt think I would understand if she just told me about her financial problems. Heck, I've been a bridesmaid 6 times and my daughter has been a flower girl 3 times. I KNOW how expensive it can be. I will probably end up talking to my other BM's and making my daughter MOH. I'm sure my mother can step in and help out with the shower, and I dont really mind planning my own BP. I know everything will work itself out, but come on now..the MOH is supposed to take away some of the stress, not add to it.
Brooklynbride
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
Posted by Planning-Praying
I've seen alot of daughters regardless of age stand in as a MOH. I think it's great..this way you won't offend any of your friends/family. Then tell them you couldn't imagine choosing just one that's why you asked your daughter to step up. So just bring up the fact that she obviously can't plan your bridal party and see what they say.
About your MOH she probably felt horrible. Not really the way to do it in my opinion, but you guys will make it through.
I agree I do have a Matron of Honor, but my 11 year old daughter is my Maid of Honor. My future sisters in law (an FMI) are planning my Bridal Shower My matron of honor lives out of town and has four girls of her own. One of my BM's is pregnant and having complications (please pray for her) and my other BM has money problems. I only have a Matron of Honor, Maid of Honor and 2 BM's. I love them all, so I would not ask too much of them. I am lucky enough my 2 future sisters in law and mother in law want to provide me with my bridal shower (co-ed).
MaggieLuvsJoe
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
so she doesnt even want to be a BM? I can't believe she didnt call you and talk to you about it, a text is a bit impersonal--that's pretty strange but I guess she was embarrased? who knows.
I think you should just have one of your BMs become your MOH -- Good Luck
madseason
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
Posted by awgg822
I think it'd be really nice to ask your daughter. Then all the girls can help plan your parties together. All of my sisters are planning mine, even though only one is my MOH. Good luck with your decision.
I agree - it would be an honor and something special for your daugther and everyone else can help her and shell feel included.
Are you sure theres nothing more to it that she couldnt call u
Cpt2007
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
I think your daughter would be fine. Just make sure she could legally sign the marriage license. You might need to find someone over the age of 18 for that task.
Just Cindy
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
I wouldnt have one at all or ask your daughter.
CSimiMOB
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
WOW!!!!! That stinks! Are the gowns ordered already?
SoonToBeMrsSchombs
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The other problem is my FH doesnt think my daughter should be the MOH. He thinks it'll look funny having her walk down the aisle with his BM who is 50+ yrs old. It's all making me crazy. My MOH is the type to avoid confrontation, so I'm sure that's what she thought she was doing by texting me...I'm not too sure how this will affect our friendship, but I'm not even interested in making it work at this point, I'm just pissed. This is a person who can and has told me everything!!!
SoonToBeMrsSchombs
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
Oh, I forgot. No, the gowns arent ordered yet. I just got mine on Sunday. I wanted them to wait until I ordered mine so they could get the discount. David's Bridal gives them all $20 off their dresses and 15% off shoes if I buy my dress there. My BM's will be wearing Pink (watermelon) with yellow (canary) accents and my daughter will be wearing the same dress (she's a big 9 year old) but in the reverse colors.
carolinebr
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
I had our daughter as my MOH. She was 3 months old.
Its just that, an honor. Your BM's will step up and help plan stuff. And that way none of them will be jealous to another one being 'promoted'. I'd def pick your daughter.
Reymiliz
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Re: MY MOH Dropped out!!
I agree with picking your daughter just make sure you take it out withe your BM's and im sure they will step up and plan it .... it will all work out .. as for ur MOH she shouldnt have been embarrassed she knows this is important for you she should have been more responsible
