MY MOH Dropped out!!

I would

1. talk to MOH to find out real situation. maybe she is in dire straits. Would you consider buying her dress to eleviate some of the expense? Does she plan to attend at all? Give her the benefit of the doubt until you have all the facts. Maybe she is mad at you about something. Sometimes (not saying its the case here..) brides tend to get too wrapped up in the wedding and not seeing or hearing what is going on in other people's lives. I find some of my bride friends (and some posters on LIW) think that everything is owed to them b/c they are a bride.
Don't throw away the friendship yet.

2. If she truly won't be MOH.. then I agree with above posters.. your daughter would be a very special person to have at your side and the best man and your daughter can walk seperately up the aisle.

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Posted by fashiondiva

I would

1. talk to MOH to find out real situation. maybe she is in dire straits. Would you consider buying her dress to eleviate some of the expense? Does she plan to attend at all? Give her the benefit of the doubt until you have all the facts. Maybe she is mad at you about something. Sometimes (not saying its the case here..) brides tend to get too wrapped up in the wedding and not seeing or hearing what is going on in other people's lives. I find some of my bride friends (and some posters on LIW) think that everything is owed to them b/c they are a bride.
Don't throw away the friendship yet.

2. If she truly won't be MOH.. then I agree with above posters.. your daughter would be a very special person to have at your side and the best man and your daughter can walk seperately up the aisle.

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I know she's low on $ right now, but I also know she has a David's Bridal credit card. The dresses, after coupon come to a toal of $105. My mom offered to help with the costs of the shower, so that leaves the BP and with 6+ people splitting the cost of transportation and a room at Mohegan Sun, I cant imagine it costing too much. I spent an hour and a half on the phone with her Friday night listening to her problems, not talking about the wedding once. That's part of what bothered me about the text message on Saturday. She could have said something when she was unloading everything else on me. I'm not going to throw the friendship away, but I am upset.

I'm 98% sure I'm going to choose my daughter, but I need to really think about all the 'pro's and 'cons'. Shes 9, and not always the most well behaved, if you know what I mean.

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsSchombs

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Posted by fashiondiva

I would

1. talk to MOH to find out real situation. maybe she is in dire straits. Would you consider buying her dress to eleviate some of the expense? Does she plan to attend at all? Give her the benefit of the doubt until you have all the facts. Maybe she is mad at you about something. Sometimes (not saying its the case here..) brides tend to get too wrapped up in the wedding and not seeing or hearing what is going on in other people's lives. I find some of my bride friends (and some posters on LIW) think that everything is owed to them b/c they are a bride.
Don't throw away the friendship yet.

2. If she truly won't be MOH.. then I agree with above posters.. your daughter would be a very special person to have at your side and the best man and your daughter can walk seperately up the aisle.

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I know she's low on $ right now, but I also know she has a David's Bridal credit card. The dresses, after coupon come to a toal of $105. My mom offered to help with the costs of the shower, so that leaves the BP and with 6+ people splitting the cost of transportation and a room at Mohegan Sun, I cant imagine it costing too much. I spent an hour and a half on the phone with her Friday night listening to her problems, not talking about the wedding once. That's part of what bothered me about the text message on Saturday. She could have said something when she was unloading everything else on me. I'm not going to throw the friendship away, but I am upset.

I'm 98% sure I'm going to choose my daughter, but I need to really think about all the 'pro's and 'cons'. Shes 9, and not always the most well behaved, if you know what I mean.

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I just don't think you can make any assumptions on how she is viewing the costs of your wedding. To you it may not be a lot, but to some people (and just theorizing here) $105 is the next lilco bill, or food for the week, etc. Until you get the full story, don't assume.

I think you need to reach out to her, and perhaps call her and just say you want to talk. IMHO, honesty is always the best policy and if you come to her in a non-accusatory tone (e.g., 'what's going on? are you ok?') instead of letting hurt turn to anger (e.g., '***, a text message?!), you will hopefully get the answer. Obviously, I don't know you or your friends, but I've seen similar situations and the embarrassment and hurt on both sides can make things get ugly quickly.

good luck. really tough situation.

I say have your daughter be your MOH and mention to your other BM's your situation and ask them if they can help your daughter out w/all the planning

GOOD LUCK!

I would consider asking your daughter since picking between cousins can cause drama.

My MOH is my sixteen year old cousin who lives in Florida. She can't plan my bridal shower or bachelorette party either, but I helped raise her, and she is like my sister, so I wouldn't consider anyone else.

I explained this to my bridal party, and they understand and are going to do the things she can't. I'm sure if you explained it to everyone, they would understand and do the same.

It's a tough situation, but it will work out. And the bottom line is, it is your wedding, so do what you feel is best, and everyone will understand.

Good luck!

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Posted by SoonToBeMrsSchombs

I forgot to mention that 3 of the 5 remaining BM's are all my cousins and we are very close, but choosing one over the other might cause jealousy issues between them. The other 2 BM's are from out of town.

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Then I would ask the oldest cousin if you think it would cause problems.