MY MOH is making me crazy

Nina_m74 Posted: Jun 19, 2007 01:04 PM

MY MOH is making me crazy

In the beginning I told her I would let her have input on the dress I choose. So far I have sent her about 20 dresses and with each one she has said 'it's beautiful, but it won't work on my figure.'

I have been in 6 weddings and never have I told the bride I won't wear the dress - one of the weddings I was in, I threw the dress in a dumpster on the way home - it was THAT bad!

FH keeps telling me to tell her to just wear what I chose and be done with it. I'm about ready to do that, trying to be considerate is biting me in the butt!

has anyone else had this problem?

Tobewed07 Posted: Jun 19, 2007 01:06 PM

Re: MY MOH is making me crazy

Sure did!! LOL Although she kept saying that she would wear whatever I picked. I knew she was just saying that so I picked something a little different for her. She didn't like the color I picked, burnt orange, so she will be wearing the choco.brown dress in my album..

I felt bad making her feel uncomfortable, even though I wore a slate blue dress for her wedding that showed everything!! LOL The color was really pretty but not flattering to me!! LOL

Dee606 Posted: Jun 19, 2007 01:09 PM

Re: MY MOH is making me crazy

oh yes, I was just like you. I wanted the girls to be comfortable in their dress so I would email them pictures & they email me back different dresses that they liked. So finally, after 3 months of going back & forth, I sent them pictures of 5 dresses & I told them they have to choose from the 5 so they better get to a store to try them all on & decide.

Your wedding is in Oct, you have to put your foot down b/c you can't make everyone happy

Nina_m74 Posted: Jun 19, 2007 01:16 PM

Re: MY MOH is making me crazy

I think you're right, this is holding up my Mom and FMIL from getting their dresses too.

I like your idea of giving her a few to chose from.

Thanks

Tobewed07 - I lOVE your dresses! MOH has refused anything with a sash/belt/tie around the waist, grrrrrr.

ErinC0119 Posted: Jun 19, 2007 01:28 PM

Re: MY MOH is making me crazy

Thankfully my sister is my MOH and she is doing what ever I ask her to do. The rest of the BM's are a different story....Everyone is fitted and the dresses are ordered and are supposed to be in mid-september.

melissankurt07 Posted: Jun 19, 2007 01:33 PM

Re: MY MOH is making me crazy

Posted by Nina_m74

I think you're right, this is holding up my Mom and FMIL from getting their dresses too.

I like your idea of giving her a few to chose from.

Thanks

Tobewed07 - I lOVE your dresses! MOH has refused anything with a sash/belt/tie around the waist, grrrrrr.

I had the same problem with my girls. Some girls would like the dress and others wouldn't so I finaly told them this was the dress. What size is your MOH? I am only asking because you said she doesn't like the sash/belt/tie around the waist. I got dresses from David's Bridal and they look good on all of my bridesmaids from the skinny to the not so skinny. The picture is in my album if you want to take a look. I would definitely give them 3-5 dresses to pick from and make them pick one. HTH

Tobewed07 Posted: Jun 19, 2007 01:40 PM

Re: MY MOH is making me crazy

Posted by Nina_m74

I think you're right, this is holding up my Mom and FMIL from getting their dresses too.

I like your idea of giving her a few to chose from.

Thanks

Tobewed07 - I lOVE your dresses! MOH has refused anything with a sash/belt/tie around the waist, grrrrrr.

Thanks....See I thought my MOH would hate the sash b/c she is short and doesn't usually like stuff like that, but she disliked the color more than the style

Nina_m74 Posted: Jun 19, 2007 01:46 PM

Re: MY MOH is making me crazy

She just had a baby 2 weeks ago and thinks she's a 14/16 right now. She has already lost 40lbs - I know most of that is baby and fluid, but I'm sure she'll go down some more in the next 4 months. But it doesn't matter to me - I wouldn't care if she gained weight between now and then. She is uncomfortable and is really stressing about her belly.

I actually just got off the phone with her and she asked me if I want someone else to take her place, which is not at all what I want. I tried telling her that she looks beautiful and no one is going to be critqueing her belly the way she is. I do want her to feel comfortable, but she doesn't want any dress with a defined waist and i really don't like empire waisted dresses.

I feel like I am at the point where I have to chose do I want her in the wedding or do I want to like the dress the MOH wears. I want her in the wedding, but I am a little upset that I have to make that choice for my wedding.

Sorry for the vent

Pencils Posted: Jun 19, 2007 01:48 PM

Re: MY MOH is making me crazy

OK, I just read your other post. Is there anything out there that isn't empire-waisted that doesn't have a defined waist? Hmmm. How about a sheath dress? Trapeze dresses are popular this season, but I doubt they've made it into bridesmaids styles. Maybe she could get something that isn't a 'bridesmaids' dress? As long as she picked an appropriate color? As the MOH she doesn't have to match everyone else, right?

Nina_m74 Posted: Jun 19, 2007 02:28 PM

Re: MY MOH is making me crazy

I'm think maybe a non-bridesmaid-y dress would be good.

I just spoke with her again and suggested we go to Macy*s to try a few things on, that way she gets a little break from the baby (which I'm sure she can use) and hopefully we'll find something that works. Then at least I'll have the color down and I can move on from there.

Thanks ladies

rkl1130 Posted: Jun 19, 2007 02:37 PM

Re: MY MOH is making me crazy

My BM's initially said they'd wear anything too...until it was time to go dress shopping!

I actually ended up choosing a dress myself to save from the aggravation. They had tried on a couple and I chose from one of the ones they tried on. You can't please everyone and sometimes people will find fault with something even if it's not there.

soontobemrst Posted: Jun 19, 2007 05:43 PM

Re: MY MOH is making me crazy

I am going through the exact same thing!! In the beginingI told my girls that I would pick the color and designer and they could pick the dress. I sent them (4 girls) different designers and asked for their opinion. The only thing my MOH would say was that she wouldn't wear strapless and she hated every dress I sent. I finally picked a dress that I thought would look good on everyone. My BM's ordered the dress and they all love it. Last week my MOH decides that she can never wear 'that' dress. She just had a baby, it won't look right, she should have told me 'no' when I asked her because of the baby.....
Finally I settled and picked adifferent dress from the same designer for her. I figuredshe is the MOH so it is ok if she is different. She is closer to me then my own sisters and she broke my heart.
FH wants nothing to do with her right now because 'when I hurt he hurts'. sorry so long...

ksl268 Posted: Jun 19, 2007 05:56 PM

Re: MY MOH is making me crazy

I had this same problem One BM was very pregnant when we started looking and another BM just had a baby. Both girl's were concerned with the style of the dress. I tried to let them decide along with the other BM's but it became impossible. My other 3 BM's were so easy going and they would have worn paper bags if I asked them to. Eventually we all agreed on a basic black strapless. Everyone is happy and comfortable

Nina_m74 Posted: Jun 19, 2007 06:05 PM

Re: MY MOH is making me crazy

Thanks guys, it actually really helpful to know that I'm not the only one going through this. I decided to look at this way - a year from now no one will remember what my BMs wore.

As long as we can find a dress this weekend and have the color down, I'll be OK with it.

courtand25 Posted: Jun 19, 2007 10:57 PM

Re: MY MOH is making me crazy

I have been in 3 wedding parties and I NEVER would have told the bride 20 times that I wouldn't wear a dress. You need to lay down the law. Give her a few choices of dresses you would be comfortable with and then tell her to pick from those. This is your wedding and you shouldn't have to feel stress over this!