my mom asked me to post a question......

christine2010 Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:31 PM

my mom asked me to post a question......

we decided to have an adult only wedding, with the exception of my brothers kids.

since the invites went out one of my moms cousins called saying, 'Since you know that my husband & I & my parents will be at the wedding, I am sure you know that my son will be there too.' (her son is a 5 year old terror)

my mom was speechless. then her cousin said, 'Well he doesn't eat anything & he doesn't sit still so no need for a seat or a dinner.' my mom rushed her off the phone saying that she was receiving an emergency phone call.

she is completely shocked about the b@ll$ that her cousin has & doesn't know what to do.

my mom told my sisters friend that she is willing to give her $200 to watch the kid for the night of the wedding. problem is, my sister friend knows the kid from day care & said she wouldn't do it for a million dollars. the kids a terror.

FH, my mom & I don't want a terror at the wedding.

please offer some advice & opinions on how to handle this with no hurt feelings.

TIA

halfbaked Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:33 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

Ooof, is there any other sitter that you could have watch the kid? That's the only thing I can think of.

AdriandSteve Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:33 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

hmm.. tough situation esp. since you and others know that he's a terror. Maybe find a seperate person to babysit him that doesn't know him already?

jmgoncal Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:33 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

I would just tell her that you're not having any children at the wedding at all, with the exception of your brother's children, and it would not be right to allow an exception for just her kid.

Becca2010 Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:33 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

I think that your Mom should tell the truth and Say that we would like this to be an Adult Only Reception. We would appreciate it if you could find someone to watch your son.

She will probably be offended and if they can't get a sitter, one of them will probably stay home with him.

StaceyWill Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:35 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

Yikes!!! This is a toughie~maybe your Mom can just reiterate that it’s an “adult only” reception and if you let her son go, then you have to have other kids go?? I’m sure she can find someone to watch him.

flibbertigibbet Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:35 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

'SORRY THIS IS AN ADULT ONLY RECEPTION. NO EXCEPTIONS'

then the night of, if she says anything... tell her to go fug herself. LOL

meg922 Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:35 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

I had someone e-mail me a few weeks before the wedding to *suggest* that it would be so much better if her two children were added to the guest list (and that she'd put more money in the envelope if I agreed).

I told her that we had decided that no children (other than my niece and nephews who were in the bridal party) were invited to the wedding as we just had too many friends and family members with children who would have liked to have attended.

elp6421 Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:35 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

This is a really tough one.

I hope when your mom spoke with her on the phone that she did not in any way elude that it was OK to bring him because then the damage is gone.

I think it would be best to have your mom call her back asap and just tell her in a matter of fact way that if she brought him it would not be fair that others could not bring their children.

She may get upset and not attend but think of how many others may be offended that she was able to bring a kid and they were not.

Rosalind_75 Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:36 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

i have had 3 people ask me if kids are allowed.
i kindly told them that the only kids at the wedding will be the rb and fg.

i regret not putting 'adult reception to follow' on my invite.

i really thought that the these parents would want an adult not out. i was so wrong!!

miamimerger Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:37 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

Posted by weddingbees

'SORRY THIS IS AN ADULT ONLY RECEPTION. NO EXCEPTIONS'

then the night of, if she says anything... tell her to go fug herself. LOL

ITA minus the fug herself part

FutureCap Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:37 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

i definitely think your mom should tell her that it is an adult event and the only children are your bro kids... and it would not be fair to allow just her son because you would be insulting many other guests and their many children.

christine2010 Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:40 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

Posted by Rosalind_75

i have had 3 people ask me if kids are allowed.
i kindly told them that the only kids at the wedding will be the rb and fg.

i regret not putting 'adult reception to follow' on my invite.

i really thought that the these parents would want an adult not out. i was so wrong!!

i have been over not putting 'adult reception to follow' on the invites. i agree, i felt people who like to get out without their kids. plus when i mentioned that to my parents, they looked like i had ten heads saying that when they had a wedding to go to & my sister & i where not invited, they made it work.

some people, i swear.

elisa112101 Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:43 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

i TOTALLY feel your pain!!! FH fam side kids are monsters!!! i just had to be straight out on the no kids allowed... you just have to tell her or make your mom do it(im suprised she didnt say it right there and then) do you want my mom to call her and let her down????I

i know that its considered rude but i did put Adult reception to follow on my invites!!

stinenandy2010 Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:43 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

We had the same problem, and I simply told the person, 'I'm sorry but your children are not invited, we are trying to keep it adults only but we really hope you can find accomodations to still make our wedding.'

Future Mrs H Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:44 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

Posted by StaceyWill

Yikes!!! This is a toughie~maybe your Mom can just reiterate that it’s an “adult only” reception and if you let her son go, then you have to have other kids go?? I’m sure she can find someone to watch him.

ITA!

soontobecruz Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:46 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

you have to stick to your guns! Just think if you allow this one cousin to brnig her kid then other's are going to think it's alright for them to bring theirs. Then other's who left the kids home might be resentful bc they had to get a sitter.... it would just snowball IMO.

If I were you I would call her (or your mom if she is up to it) and be honest. Tell her it is an adult only reception and he can't come.

Ray8183 Posted: Feb 17, 2010 01:57 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

Posted by stinenandy2010

We had the same problem, and I simply told the person, 'I'm sorry but your children are not invited, we are trying to keep it adults only but we really hope you can find accomodations to still make our wedding.'

ITA. I think as the bride YOU should get on the phone with that cousin and tell her no children are invited. That way she will know it was the BRIDE who said no and mom was not put in the middle. Stay strong and if she doesn't like it she can always tell your mom what she didn't like about. Also don't tell her about you brother child just let her know how you feel about children at the wedding.

laulac98 Posted: Feb 17, 2010 02:01 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

Posted by Future Mrs H

Posted by StaceyWill

Yikes!!! This is a toughie~maybe your Mom can just reiterate that it’s an “adult only” reception and if you let her son go, then you have to have other kids go?? I’m sure she can find someone to watch him.

ITA!

I agree with that. I saw an invitation that said 'we have reserved ___ seats in your honor' and I think I'm going to use that on my response cards to drive the point home that the kids aren't invited.

RaeloveMeg Posted: Feb 17, 2010 02:10 PM

Re: my mom asked me to post a question......

A similar situation happen with my family and I said ' Well theres someone on Raes side of the family that wanted to bring their kid also and we told them NO, so its not right to have you from my side show up to the wedding with your kid.'

And just explain I'm not saying Yes to my side and No to his side, be like I dont want to start any wars!!