My mom doesn’t care

Sorry.

My dad acted like that exactly but by time the wedding was close... he was excited too. Maybe she will start to change as yours gets closer.

I am so sorry to hear all of this, my Mom passed away last year and I think she would have given anything to be with me on my wedding day and help me plan

it makes me really upset to read all of your posts

I am so sorry girls

to you. I know how you feel. I was at Flower Michele and we were talking about where to get ready, when the flowers would be delivered, etc. All hypothetical stuff since my wedding is far off. I said something about my mom being there when I get ready and her taking pics with me (you know, the traditional pics of mother/daughter) and she thought I was crazy. She doesn't want to be there when I get ready. She wants to get ready at the hotel and come later. That hurt me a lot. Hopefully I can convince her to get ready early and then help me get ready because I would like her to be there.

ETA: I was actually a little embarassed since it was while we were meeting with John, so I just dropped it instead of pursuing it. But he must think that my mom hates me!

Just a little addition- it's something I read a while ago and I think it may apply here. While most of us love our parents-they are only human and the thing I read talked about parental jealousy. Sometimes it has to do with the daughter getting dad's attention that makes mom jealous, sometimes it that the daughter doesn't face the same things as mom. I wonder if this doens't apply here? It's a difficult thought to fathom-kids always want to see the best in their parents and when it's not there it up to the child to handle it.

While I don't have this struggle with a parent, I'm facing it with a jealous FBIL who has taken on a leadership role in FH family since FH dad passed. He was forced to have a wedding that was planned by the parents and instead of feeling sympathy that FH dad won't be at our wedding he complains that we are getting to do what we want and shouldn't be getting as much money as we are from FHs mom...

Can't choose our families! (or FH's family!)

Here are some more for you!!

ETA: Maybe you can write your mom a letter and say that you believe it's due to you and FH living together and you felt that making sure you were a good fit was better before marriage rather than discovering it afterward....explain that you wish she could be more supportive....etc...maybe it's something else that's bothering her?

My mom is also the same way. She has no desire to see me in a wedding dress, when I asked her when we would go together to look, she sighed and said 'whenever'. She doesn't care, she doesn't hide it and it is breaking my heart. She does not like my FH for me and she has made that clear as well. She even stood me up today when I went to look at photographers. STOOD ME UP! i was CRYING at the photographer's studio. My FH feels terrible because I can't slee and have been crying non-stop.
I wish my mom was excited and I wish she was proud and happy for me. I guess we have to be strong and find the love and support and happiness with the men we will be spending our lives with.
Don't be upset, be strong and dont let this ruin your special time. I know it is easier said than done but try. Good luck with everything.

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Posted by roxyspark

My Mom thinks weddings are a waste of money. She yelled at me for having it on a Saturday night June. She said I should go out to dinner and then just donate the money I would have spent on the wedding to charity.
Needless to say she has not been involved with any planning.
She doesn’t care about my dress or the reception hall or anything. If I tell her anything, she’s just like “Oh, that’s nice.”

Part of the reason that she is so uninvolved is that FI and live together and we moved to Los Angeles for his job this year. She is very against living together before marriage.

I am just really sad because she really doesn’t care about any of the planning and I see other moms who are so excited and involved in the planning.

I tried talking to her, but we always end up fighting.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent.

PS If you have a story about your mom being TOO Involved, that might cheer me up.

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My mom wasn't involved either. On the day of my wedding she was over 2 hours late for her hair appointment. My advice to you is too not let her get to you and on your wedding day do not involve her.

I wish so much I didn't involve her, my sis and my moh in the preparation of the wedding day. I didn't need the stress of their attitudes.

Its your day and its your time to celebrate and don't let anyone tell you different.

My sister got married May 04. Since my sister started planning, and through now, I have heard her complain about not being asked her opinion, about how lousy the food was, how she hated the room the reception was in, how my sister forgot a bout for my nephew (her grandson) that was escorting her down the aisle, something about the wording on the invites, how the photographer was lousy (both during the wedding, and after she got her album), the tuxes and on and on.

In an effort to avoid my mother ragging on my wedding (both before and after) I have tried to involve her, and ask her opinion, and make sure I don't repeat the 'mistakes' my sister made. She came with me to 8 reception halls, and then refused to go to anymore (I ultimately looked at 17, and none of the ones my sister looked at b/c our guest list numbers are completely different). She only saw EW this past week at the showcase. I put the deposit down in August.

She came with me to the Vera Wang sample sale to look at dresses, and then saw my dress, but made no comment whatsoever. When I asked her, she said it was my wedding and she didn't want to influence my decision about a dress since she wasn't wearing it. She said the same thing Thursday after she saw EW - if I liked it that was all that mattered. I could tell from her reaction she wasn't crazy about it. She hasn't been to any other appointment with me at all. I asked her about the invite wording and FINALLY got some feedback. Turns out she can't stand my sister's IL, so she didn't want their name on the invite, but thinks my FMIL is great so she has no problem with however I want to word the invite. And so it goes. I have come to accept the fact that it is my wedding and the only 'approval' I need is from my heart and that of FH, everyone else is immaterial.

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Posted by BJandDan

His mom told us that a wedding video is a waste of money because they got a video for his bar mitzvah and they never watched it. I wanted to get out of my chair and hit her over the head with it and then say a wedding is not a effing bar mitzvah!!!!!!!!

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ROFLMAO!!

Tell her to talk to my mom, who watched the video of my Bat Mitzvah so many times our Dog learned to Daven!!!!! (I'm not even joking)



I don't know what would make a mother act like that. But like all the other girls said, you've got LIW!