when FH & I first got engaged and we started talking about having a wedding, we said we were not going to include my brother & SIL in the bridal party. we are including their three kids & it would be a big expense for them. my mom agreed & said it was ok to not include married people with children.
now 10 months later she wants to know whey we are not including them. i have no idea what i am suppose to do. i was going to have my SIL help out in other ways the day of the wedding. (give out programs & either bubbles or bird seed at the end of the ceremony)
i don't have the most amazing relationship with my SIL (we just get along) & my brother is a big pain in the butt. everything will be an argument with him. (like what he has to wear that day & to wear shoes & not some sort of work boots) & i don't want me or FH to have to deal with that.
would it be stupid if i have my brother & SIL walk into the church after the mothers of the bride & groom are seated?? prior to the bridal party walking down the aisle.
Jna2010
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Re: my mom is driving me crazy
i understand that it could be a big expense for them since their children are already in the wedding, but did you actually ask them? if not, it was a considerate thought but a huge assumption..... i would ask anyway, if they say no because of the money than its settled, and if they say yes than theyre aware of the expenses..... unless of course you just dont want to have them in your bp
lori7570
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Re: my mom is driving me crazy
Posted by Jna2010
i understand that it could be a big expense for them since their children are already in the wedding, but did you actually ask them? if not, it was a considerate thought but a huge assumption..... i would ask anyway, if they say no because of the money than its settled, and if they say yes than theyre aware of the expenses..... unless of course you just dont want to have them in your bp
ITA...maybe your mom brought it up because they said something about it...I asked FSIL to be a bm. I did it because I felt it was the right thing to do, even though are relationship is sometimes strained.
stinenandy2010
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Re: my mom is driving me crazy
Have you spoken to your brother about it? FH has a much older brother and sister and we are including all their children instead. Her sister and sil said they were too old to be in a bridal party, so it ended up working out good.....maybe discuss it with them bc they might feel the same way.
FallBride2010
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Re: my mom is driving me crazy
I think that is a nice way to include them. I dont think it's terrible that they arent included. I am not including FH's sister in my BP. I have so many good friends that I am leaving out b/c I dont want to have a 15 person BP...so I am not including someone that I am not super close with. I think you are fine not to include them as bm and gm.
little j
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Re: my mom is driving me crazy
maybe your brother said something to your mom? try to talk to him to see if he is even interested/willing to go along with the dress code and the expenses.
i plan to ask my sister to be a BM but not a MOH. She is way too flakey for that and money is tight. i told my mom this a long time ago so there was no 'but that is the right thing to do' drama. mom was fine with it...so when i told her i was going to ask sister to be BM she was like WHY? she doesnt have money!
Meanwhile, my sister already told me she is putting $ from her tax return away this year into savings for any needed wedding expenses. (now i can only pray that she doesnt need to dip into those savings any sooner!)
I am also asking FSIL, mainly for reasons Lori said.
