My Mother...MY Dress... My Dilemma

Ok I need to vent! I know I don't post that often but I need to let off steam to some fellow brides, and get some advice.
I started looking for MY DRESS- and after going to 2 places I fell madly in love with an Eve of Milady dress. Originally it wasn't what I was looking for at all (I wanted a ball gown, and this dress is a simple a-line dress with bead work on the bodice. It is off the shoulder and also has some beadwork on the bottom of the dress). When I first tried the dress on I was with my MOH and we both burst into tears and I just fell in love and knew that this was the dress I had to wear. So later that week I brought my mom, my FMIL and my godmother back with me to see the dress-----my mother HATED IT! she just sat there with her arms folded saying, 'I don't like it' she wouldn't even tell me what she didn't like!!! I got so frustrated!!!! not to mention that she made me try on about 5 other dresses after the ONE. And each of them she said she didn't like them b/c she said they weren't beaded enough---the sales person (Patti who was sooooooo nice) brought out the MOST beaded dress they had in the store and my mom still didn't like it!!!! I was almost in tears! Its my wedding and my dress and my mom wants me to wear this crazy, overly done, gaudy thing!!! She doesn't understand that that is NOT my style! She says that the only reason that she wants me to wear a dress like that is because she didn't have that and because I'm her only daughter. Truthfully, I don't want to hurt her feelings but I can't possibly have a dress like that!! I felt ridiculous. Not to mention I think its ridiculous to spend that kind of $$$$ on a dress---couldn't she pay off some of my school loans instead????? Am I being inconsiderate? or am I right, its my day so I should wear what I want, right??????
I told her that we would keep looking since I have time to order a dress (I hope that we find something we can both be happy with)...but I think I've already made up my mind! Sorry this was so long--I just wanted to see if any of you had this problem and if you did how you handled it---I feel like I'm being dumb by not wanting her to spend crazy $$$ on a dress-should I just go all princess and not worry about the cost? PLEASE HELP! thx!

Your mom needs to chill. If she wants a gaudy dress, let her wear one herself as MOB. You need to get the dress that YOU want. It is YOUR day!!

Good luck

It's Your day, You are wearing the dress - get the dress that YOU Love!!!!!

I had the same issue, i actually was by myself the day I found the dress cause my BM cancelled on me. I tried it on and I cried, I knew it was it. Since I am in LA, I sent my mom pics of me in the dress and she said 'It's okay' then my FSIL made me try on like 5 more dresses, she loved them all but nothing compared. In the end I just ordered the dress anyway cause its what I wanted most. My mom felt better about the dress when I tried it on with the right slip and had a veil on etc. I tried to let her see the whole picture. She will come around - go with your gut.

GOOD LUCK!

Im so sorry. I think you should wear what you like, and I am sure you know that in your heart. Your mom might come around if you explain this all to her calmly. Good luck.

You are the bride and you MUST wear the gown that you want!!! BTW...love your name!

I think that you will compare every dress you try from now on to the 'ONE' and none will measure up. You will just need to convince your mother that this is the dress you feel most comfortable in.

The last thing you want is to feel uncomfortable on your day. Every time you look at your pics you will remember the dress and how you wish you would have just put your foot down.

Maybe you can bead it up with a beaded veil to make your mom happy.

It will work out, Don’t stress! Good luck!

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Posted by molly25

Get the dress you love.. Its your day and you should where what you have your heart set on. If you choose what she wants, you may regret it. Good luck.

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Ditto!

I think that you should get the dress that you want.

If I am reading your post correctly, it sounds like maybe your mother really wanted a ornate, beaded dress and wasn't able to get one for one reason or another when she got married. Her heart is probably in the right place. She wants her daughter to have what she couldn't. Hopefully she'll come around and realize that this is what you really want and that this dress is your dream.

I'm sorry that you are going through a stressful time over this. Good luck.

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Posted by razz1031

You are the bride and you MUST wear the gown that you want!!! BTW...love your name!

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thanks everyone! I know my mom just wants what's best for me and it will work out!!! thanks for your responses I really appreciate it!