I've been really easygoing and relaxed about everything, and haven't had any desire to play the 'I'm the Bride' card. But recently, there's something that's upsetting me...
FH has 2 nephews who we're extremely close to who will be age 3-1/2 and almost 2 when we get married. They are both 'in our wedding (ceremony)'
We both REALLY want them there at our reception. I couldn't imagine not dancing around with the little guys. They are FAMILY and I want them there. FBIL (FH's bro) and FSIL refuse, thinking they will be too much work. We keep telling them that there will be enough people there to watch them (we even offered to 'hire' a cousin's best friend to babysit them at the reception), but they are still refusing. It's breaking my heart to think about the little guys not being there, and honestly I will always resent it if they are not there.
Should I let this go, or am I being selfish? I've been to plenty of weddings with little kids, who just 'crash' in their strollers when they get tired. Even my cousin is bringing her 2-year old. Thanks for your input.
MrsC2010
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
i am in the same situation. my sister and bil dont want to bring my nephew bc they want to enjoy themselves and not have to worry about getting him home to go to sleep or if he gets cranky or something. i am sad that he might not be there but i totally understand. i want them to have a great time at the wedding so if they would rather just leave him with a babysitter then its fine with me.
grkbarbie
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
its reallly up to the parents. you cant force them or blame them for wanting to keep them home.
honestly, it hink the night will go by sooo fast that if they do come, u will spend 10 min with them TOPS. u will be pulled in every direction possible..
it stinks that they dont want to bring them...but it is their decision
AngnShaun
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
i would let it go... FSIL & FBIL are probably seeing your wedding as a night that they can enjoy themselves without having to watch kids... thats how most of my family felt!
Kimbiz1
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
I wish my FBandSIL didn't want their daughter at the reception.
KrisD72310
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
First of all, I don't think you're being selfish, it's just what you want. Second, I completely understand where they are coming from. My niece will be 16 months and my nephew will be 4 years old. They are my FG and RB, but my sister might even have them brought home before the introductions. Although I'd like them to be there for a little while, I get where they're coming from and really want them to enjoy their night.
MikesBride2B
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
HOnestly...I know you want them there, and I totally understand how you feel...but if their parents don't want to deal with them, that's their decision...they deserve to be able to have a night of fun away from their children. As a new parent to my FSD, I completely understand where they are coming from...I really look forward to the few and far between nights where I am able to have a great time just us grownups.
StaceYums81
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
I wouldn't worry about it - kids can be very difficult at weddings and the parents probably just want to enjoy themselves and not have to be chasing after the kids every 5 seconds. At least you will have the memories of the ceremony
futuremrsjc2010
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
I agree my FSIL got married earlier this yr and since FH and I were in the wedding, we did not bring our boys.
springsandra
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
Remind the parents that your wedding is in the afternoon (unless I'm reading wrong) -- that might change their mind about it.
Tell them to just keep an open mind about it and reevaluate a little closer to the wedding.
We had DH's 3 1/2 y/o nephew and 2 y/o niece at our wedding and they were great, but the in laws definitely helped out a TON (especially MIL who took care of the baby during the ceremony).
Plus, then you get photos like this...
I hope they come around!!!!!
I do have to say, DH's nephew was EVERYWHERE to the point that he was a little bit of center stage more than I think some couples would really appreciate. So there are some advantages to not having them at the reception.
As a side note... SIL asked the little boy (he's 4 now) if hew knew who got married when they went to NY this summer, and he told her that he married me. Silly nephew!
cavvento
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
Thanks for all your advice. I guess the part that gets me is that we or FH's parents babysit the boys pretty frequently so the boys' parents do enjoy a decent amount of 'grownup time'. I feel like when you have kids, you're making a commitment to having them become a part of your family. Isn't a wedding more about family than it is about a 'night out'?!
cavvento
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
Posted by springsandra
Remind the parents that your wedding is in the afternoon (unless I'm reading wrong) -- that might change their mind about it.
Tell them to just keep an open mind about it and reevaluate a little closer to the wedding.
We had DH's 3 1/2 y/o nephew and 2 y/o niece at our wedding and they were great, but the in laws definitely helped out a TON (especially MIL who took care of the baby during the ceremony).
Plus, then you get photos like this...
I hope they come around!!!!!
I do have to say, DH's nephew was EVERYWHERE to the point that he was a little bit of center stage more than I think some couples would really appreciate. So there are some advantages to not having them at the reception.
As a side note... SIL asked the little boy (he's 4 now) if hew knew who got married when they went to NY this summer, and he told her that he married me. Silly nephew!
Awwww.... so cute! That's exactly what I want!
vv117
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
i don't know where everything is located but can you have the boys come for the ceremony and picture taking part and then have the person you would 'hire' take them to their home to babysit. this way the parents enjoy themselves and you get to have them as part of your day.
Or is this what you were suggesting in your original post?
Lady12
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
I know how you feel because I have twin nieces (3 yrs old) and they are my FGs. I love them like crazy and If my sister told me that she was not brnging them I would kill her!!!
But if they keep insisting I would suggest you let it go... they are the parents afterall and you cant force them.
ourwedding9510
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
Even with people there watching the little guys, if I was the parents I would still not want them there. Honestly, while I would LOVE to see my kids have a GREAT time at a wedding, and SO cute in the tuxes and DEF crash when they get tired, they children would still be my responsibility. IF something were to happen it's 'I want my mommy' or 'where are these children's parents' and your cousins probably just want to avoid that kind of situation. I can COMPLETELY understand why you would want them there but in all reality, it's the parents decision. While it's your wedding, the parents have the last word with their children.
I'm sorry, this is probably the LAST thing you want to hear and I know it TOTALLY s*cks (I'm going through it with my little cousin and FH's little cousins) but at the end of the day, it's not our decision. FH's cousins were invited to a wedding and everyone kept saying 'bring there, there will be plenty of people to watch them' but when the kids started getting tired or didn't want to be there anymore or there was a little bit of a problem, everyone else wanted to enjoy themselves and the parents had to take care of them.
I'm sorry and I hope you can find a happy medium for this!
runnerbride1023
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
My FG and RB are going to be 3 when we getting married. My FBIL and FSIL are having someone pick up FG after cocktail hour. The reason for this is b/c during a family party on FSIL side the baby started freaking out, it was dark, she couldn't fall asleep, she wanted her mommy, (and her mommy was taking shots while daddy watched the baby), it was a mess.
I feel the opposite as you b/c I was happy they decided to do this, I did not want one of them to have the stand guard by the stroller all night, or have one of my FIL watch the baby and not be dancing with us. (Selfish i know). I am waiting for my other FBIL and FSIL to agree to do this for RB.
I am not sure what time your reception starts, but for me cocktail hour will end at 9:00 which is waaaay past their bed time. They both go to sleep at 8:00 (which is when my ceremony ends) so they will not make it until 9 to dance. If your event starts late the kiddies will be sleeping for the whole thing anyway.
jcreilly
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
If the parents do not want them there then you should let it go! They know there own children and most likly they will not enjoy your wedding with the kids there! They will be the ones who will deal with cranky children the next day for not sleeping , and if they are like my 1 year old nephew he can not sleep when there is a lot of noise and needs quiet!!!!!!!!!
AdriandSteve
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
I can 100% understand you wanting them to be there. That's why I'm having about 15 kids 15 and under at my wedding lol. But.. i think in this situation the parents wishes override the bride's wishes.
JayBee216
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
I am having a bunch of kids at the wedding...but it is SO LATE when it's over, so I'm hiring a babysitter to be with them in the bridal suite while the parents are partying.
I also am going to ask them if it would be better for the babysitter to be at the hotel, but I figure that the parents want to be able to check in on them.
I'm going to have toys and people are bringing their pack and plays, so it should be fine. This way the kiddies can party and go to sleep when they feel like it but they'll still be near.
FallBride2010
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Re: My one 'Bridezilla' Issue... HELP!
I know how you feel, but I also can see the other side...because I have been there. FH and I NEVER bring his kids to weddings when they are invited. II wouldnt push it. If they feel they will have a better time without the kids...it's their decision
